Thursday, September 29, 2011

CCL and I were talking today about how life with out internet access is not a life worth living.  Well...we didn't say that in so many words, but  we were just talking about how inconvenient it is and how helpless you feel with out it.  It made me realize just how much things have changed  from back in the day and how different things are for kids today.  I can't believe I'm saying phrases like "kids today" and "back in the day"...but I guess it's officially official...I. AM. OLD.

So, I decided to discuss a few ways that life has changed over the past 3 decades of my life...

1.  Phone books...They're not completely obsolete.  I still see them on my doorstep occasionally.  I either toss it, or store it under my couch for safe keeping.  But, I can't remember the last time I've used one!  Actually I take that back...they used to have coupons for a free drink with lunch at Mazzios, so me and the BOC girls would round up all the yellow pages before we went to lunch. =)  But, as for seeking a  phone's been aeons!

2.  Actually...the word "aeons" brings me to my next one...dictionaries!  I had no idea how to spell that just googled it with how I thought it would be spelled "eons"...and learned that it had a silent "a."  I remember "back in the day"...we had to buy these $25 dictionaries for school.  My English teacher always demanded we look up the words we couldn't spell...which I found very annoying...I mean how do you look up a word when you can't spell it?  It's no wonder that it took me forever to figure out that the word outfit was not spelled a-l-p-h-e-t. 

3.  "Kids today" think they have it tough when they have to write papers.  Uh, yah right...try having to go to  the library to do research in actual books and journals that you actually have to flip the pages of.   And try typing your paper and using correction fluid when you screw up instead of hitting backspace!  I have no pity for any of you!!

4.  Emails/Webcam...If these things were invented when I was a kid, it would have saved me from so much trouble!  I would have never gotten in trouble for calling my cousins too much and hiking up the phonebill...nor would I have had to write my cousins letters on paper and watch out for snail mail to avoid our letters being intercepted and read by our nosy brothers.

5.  Cell phones.  Why on God's green earth was there that in between stage with  pagers?!?  Pagers were really retarded...basically you'd be calling someone's pager device to tell them to call you.  Why couldn't you just call the person directly?  I remember my pager code (instead of my phone #) (because it wasn't cool to put your phone #) was 500....or "soo"...or sue (in my clever little mind).  A few weeks ago, I was driving home from Dallas...alone...and was completely FREAKED OUT when I realized that my phone had no range for like 2 hours of my 3 hour trip.  Although I used to drive like that all the time "back in the day"...and it never phased me then.  But even with cell phones, there is a hierachy.  I'm ashamed to say, that my sweet munchkin, Madison operates her mom's cell phone with ease...however, I don't even know how to answer it when it rings.  And when she sees my phone, she looks at me like "Where's all the apps, Sueny??  Moses called and he wants his cell phone back!"

6.  GPS...need I go on?  I mean, I've gotten lost in my neighborhood before.  This is obviously vitally essential for someone like me.  I don't even know how I survived "back in the day."  I used to drive to Dallas and get directions from CCL, and then get directions from CCL on how to get from Dallas to Houston.  Once I was in Houston, I'd ask Mikey how to get back to Dallas, and then in Dallas, ask CCL how to get to OKC.  Confused?  I was too!  That's why I kept getting lost!!!

7.  Straight Iron.   "Kids today" think they have problems with bullying?  Try being a frizzy haired brown girl in a predominately white, cowboy/cowgirl school!!!  When I think about how different my life could have been if only the straight iron was invented ten years brings real tears to my eyes!!!!

8.  DVR...this has been the one new invention in my time that has impacted my life the most.  I don't know how I functioned before and will never go back to a life without it.  I mean watching my TV shows without dealing with commercials is better than candy!

I could go on forever...but I will end here.  Sometimes...I wonder what's next!  I just hope to see the day when I can shift my car into fly mode!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I've realized over the years that I'm one of "those" people.  You all know the kind...The kind that people start talking to and end up saying way too much to.  I'm not sure what it is about me that makes people want to confess to me.  If I believed in reincarnation, I'd think I was a priest in a former life. 

I recently met someone, and every time I talk to her, I make her cry.  I always apologize, and she always assure me that she enjoys our talks and appreciates that she can trust me enough to talk so openly.  Her honesty never bothers me...but, I'm always left feeling guilty when I see her tears.

It's one thing when your friends spill their beans...all their beans...but when total strangers's a completely different story...a scary story at that!  I was sitting at a hair salon minding my own business.  I couldn't have been sitting there for more than a minute and a half when the lady sitting two seats down beckoned me to come sit by her.  As I scooted down...I began to wonder if I knew her.  And I was positive that I didn't.  I have a sick memory when it comes to peoples/faces/names...and her's was not one that I knew....because trust me, I woulda remembered her face.

She leaned over...into my personal space...and began whispering to me.  I couldn't hear a word she was saying...nor could I read her lips...but she kept sticking her cell phone in my face so I knew she wanted me to look at it.  It was a text...from some guy.  He was telling her she was beautiful.  I definitely did not concur.  She kinda looked witch like and scary as she whispered dramatically in my face.  I guess she could tell I couldn't hear her...and she apologized and said she didn't want the others to hear her.  My question was...WHY DID SHE WANT ME TO HEAR?!?

She talked louder, but her accent was so thick.  I could only make out about 15% of what she was saying, but the texts she kept showing me helped me figure out what she was saying.  So, what was she saying?  Apparently she was divorced and the scarf she was wearing was given to her by her daughter...who went to Italy with her ex and bought the scarf ...and she had 3 men who were just her friends, but she was in love with one...and they were all in love with her.  She didn't like the one who said she was beautiful because she didn't know his true insides...she said he saw her standing somewhere and noticed her butt.  Then she proceeded to stand up and show me how she was standing.  I kept looking at her face and she insisted that I look at her butt. "Look!  Look at it!," she said emphatically! At that point...I was sure Ashton Kutcher was going to pop out of somewhere and tell me that I was being punked.  And then I remembered, I'm not a celebrity...and Ashton only punks celebrities.

Then she told me about each man, their professions, and what kind of cars they had...Fifteen minutes couldn't pass by any slower!  My eardrums were tired from straining, and my mind was spinning as I considered how strange humans could be!  Just as she was telling me strange things about her thong,  my hairstylist, Chi, (no pun intended...that's REALLY her name!)  finally called my name, and I basically ran to her chair.  It was definitely a straaaange experience, but I was kinda glad it happened.  I knew it was just the kind of story my blog needed!  I know this sounds like fiction...and I have been known to make up a story or two in my time...but some just can't make up!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

She's so Smurfy!

I've never been a a huge Smurf fan in the past.  Yes, I watched the cartoons, but it bugged me how they slaughtered English grammar with the word Smurf...which is obviously a noun, but then they'd use it as a verb, adverb, and adjective whenever they smurfed like it!  But, when the movie came out this summer, I was overcome with nostalgia and I really wanted to see it.  The only reason I didn't is because my niece and nephew didn't want to because they really didn't know what a Smurf was.  And I didn't want to be an adult going to a kid movie with out a kid.  When I found out McD's was bringing back the smurf figurines out with their happy meals...I was so excited.  It just brought me back to my childhood years...and I just had to get my hands on one.  And so I urged my nephew to have a happy meal one night...and he gladly handed me over the smurf.  I took it to work to put on my shelf...and before I knew it...people were bringing me their kids' smurfs!  And now, I have quite a collection.  Yesterday, my buddy made my collection complete by swiping Smurfette from her 2 year old!  She's the one I really wanted and so getting her simply made my day!  Do I feel ashamed for taking a 2 year olds toy?  Slightly, but not really! 
So, if your kid happens to have a Papa Smurf or a Brainy Smurf  laying around the house, my birthday is coming up...and I can't think of anything I want more...well, actually I can...but hey, I'm pretty easy to please!