An oldie...

I thought I'd do a re-post today. This is a story I wrote back in 2006, but can still relate to today...and figured maybe some of you could as well.

She leaned over the edge of the platform to see if a train was in sight. Oddly enough, no one else was around except for the transient seeking a warm corner for his weary body. She passed by him just as he stumbled to the ground, leaving the stench of stale flesh in the air.

She couldn’t quite explain what was rising from her chest and settling in her throat. It was as if she had been punched in the gut and the fist was still in position, thwarting her breath. It made her want to cry out. But she feared what people would think of her despite the fact that no one was there to hear.

Suddenly she heard the sound of an approaching train. A sense of relief washed over her, returning the color to her cheeks. With the train now in sight she stepped closer to the edge of the platform again. The train was now close enough to touch and she began to feel at ease.The cars were a blur as they hummed and clattered past her, but there was something recognizable about the shadows within them.

She caught glimpses of images and felt something oddly familiar about them. Were the passengers people she knew? Before she could truly be certain, they disappeared into the haze. The train did not seem to be slowing down. Instead, it picked up momentum and was now simply rolling swiftly past her. She wanted to reach out her hand and stop it, but she knew her strength was not a force this strong.

Her mind began to move quickly as she yearned to join the others on the train. Perhaps she would run as fast as she could and take a leap of faith as she hurled her body toward the train. Her fear held her back from this plan. She then wondered if she should climb back up the subway stairs and find her way through the city barefoot. The dirt would stain the soles of her feet, and she would never find her way.Overcome by frustration, she rested against a concrete pillar, which she sought for strength. She pulled her knees to her chest as a tear streamed down her cheek. Wiping the tear, she felt something foreign under her finger tips. She rifled through her purse quickly and found a compact. She opened it hesitantly and with fear in her eyes, she stared at the image looking back at her.

She barely recognized her own face with wrinkled skin and graying hair. What seemed like a short time became infinity as she waited for that train to stop and let her on board. Minutes were really hours, hours were years, and years were decades. And she realized she had spent her life on the platform of the subway station…thinking, planning, waiting, hoping…but not living.

The search for the perfect jeans....

I hate buying jeans. And, I'm sure many women out there will echo that sentiment. But, lately I've had to come to grips with the fact that it's time for a new pair. I haven't lost a lot of weight, but I've lost enough to make my current pairs of jeans way too big. Even when I wear a belt, I find myself pulling them up every five seconds...and it's most annoying. Not to mention, my old jeans aren't hip. They're not that dark-wash that for some reason makes you look more polished and put together.

So for the past few weeks, I've been keeping my eyes peeled for the perfect pair of jeans. I'm definitely not someone who will spend over $100 for the perfect fitting jean....actually I wouldn't even spend over $25. (Since I'm currently in cheap skate mode due to the plummeting economy...I find myself being majorly concerned with cost.) I don't even like jeans that much...they're hot and confining...I'd wear a skirt instead of jeans any day of the week. But, EVERY girl needs at least one good pair of jeans.

That being said...cost is definitely not my major issue with jeans. I have several...the first being LENGTH. It is so hard for me to find pants that are short enough for me. Even petites are often too long. I always knew I was a shrimp...but when i shop for pants, I feel like a dwarf! I refuse to wear 4 inch heels with my jeans. Sometimes u just want to throw on a pair of jeans and some sneakers....is that too much to ask for?? CCL suggested I buy capris and wear them as regular jeans. She's evil.

But length is not my only problem...In fact there's one that's much worse. Most jeans are made curvy. They give a girl room for hips, butt, and thigh. And I'm sure most girls appreciate that. But there are some of us who have no hips, no butt, and no thighs! Yes, the lucky few that are just all gut and cheeks...and unfortunately, I don't mean butt cheeks. There's nothing more frustrating to me than to try on a pair of jeans and have them fit my waist and length perfectly...only to see a flap of cloth on either side of me...the dumb flap that my hips, butt, and thighs should fill. But these days, I have no choice buy to buy curvy jeans and pants and deal with the flaps by wearing long shirts that cover that area...mostly long sweaters...long black sweaters, to be exact!!

So, if anyone knows where I can buy jeans...on a budget...for petite, curvy girls with curves in the WRONG places...holler.

It's a good thing...

For those of you who are sweet like me...too sweet to eat sugar, that is...Peter Pan has a new sugar free peanut butter with Splenda. It's divine...perfection on an apple for an afternoon snack. Lately I've been eating it for a guilt-free breakfast of peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich too. I'm telling ya...I'm in lowe!

Thank all of you for your well wishes and condolences. My mom is currently in India saying her final goodbye to her brother, while offering her support and comfort to her sister-in-law for the next few weeks. I am currently holding down the fort while she's gone. Normally, this wouldn't be that difficult of a task...check mail, water lawn, start car on occasion...however, this time I've stepped into a bit of a situation. The house is undergoing some changes, which means countertops have to be ordered, people need to be payed, cabinets need to be installed and stained. I have a royal headache...partially caused by the fumes that have chosen to linger throughout the house...and partially because I'm completely congested. As usual, everything has to go wrong at once. So, here I am trying to "hold down the fort" while strung out on DayQuil. But this too shall pass. I'm hoping that by the end of the week, I'll be breathing from both nostrils again! Here's to hopin'!

Grief....

When bad news comes from India that someone has passed away...It's typically a gray-haired person that I vaguely remember....someone I barely knew except for a shared afternoon tea or a passing sniff-kiss. I don't grieve...I can't...I didn't know the person. I do, however, feel sad for my mom who lost yet another relative or someone she was close to at some point in her life.

But last night's news left me shocked, confused, unable to sleep...unable to think about anyone or anything except *him* My uncle Reji was 45 years old...and the youngest of 5...Since my grandmother was past the normal child-bearing years, his birth came as a shock to his older siblings....but it was his death that came as an even bigger shock. I'm sure when he left the house that day...it was just another trip into the city on his motorcycle...no one could have known it would be fatal.

I can't write this post without fighting back tears. I didn't get to see him every year...just a hand full of times in my life. But each time, I left India...I left feeling more attached to him and my aunt. Last night, I found myself on the phone with my cousin sharing my most recent memories of him...Memories I choose to write down in this space so I can look back on them and not forget how much he meant to me.

It was Rejichachen, as I called him, who picked out my engagement outfit. I had selected two and tried both on. I personally was in favor for the teal and gold one because I knew I had matching eyeshadow stashed away in my suitcase! But, after careful consideration...he said the red was prettier on me. I conceded...because suddenly the red became more special...since he picked it.

He knew I wasn't fond of eating duck. We had visited relatives who prepared duck curry for us for dinner one night....we were in a hurry to leave and they were in a hurry to feed us...so the curry was undercooked, rubbery, and disgusting. Since then, I vowed I'd never eat duck again. On my next visit to India, my aunt prepared a curry, which my uncle proceeded to tell me was chicken. I ate it...and wondered why he couldn't keep a straight face. When I got seconds...He asked me if I liked it. When I said, yes...he said "Quack, Quack." It was duck!...I had officially been duped!

In the mornings he'd take his motorcycle off to the city...but always returned in the afternoon with a bag full of goodies for me...as if I was a little kid. In the bag were samosas or our personal favorite...puffs...which we would have together with a cup of tea.

There was never enough electrical current in the house to make my dumb curling iron work for me. So he took my curling iron to the city and walked around to so many stores looking for something comparable, but unfortunately Kottayam doesn't carry Hot Tools!!

My uncle watched after my gramps when he was bedridden for several years. Every day...several hundred times a day...my gramps would call out "Reji"...and if he heard my uncle grabbing his motorcycle keys he would always ask him where he was going. One such day...my uncle was headed to the tailor shop to pick up some of my outfits that were stitched...the shop was called Paris Tailor...so my uncle responded to my gramps...with a tinge of sarcasm..."I'm off to France." I loved his sarcasm!

He was kind... funny.. had a cute lil' smile that usually meant that he was up to something. ;) He made my trips to India fun... always made me feel like he was on my side...was always curious about what I wrote about in my journal...shared my love for dogs...was the only one who could actually carry a tune and carry it well.

I can't believe he's gone..when I think about the fact that I will never be able to see his smiling face and his blue eyes again...that the next time I go to India, he won't be there to greet us or spend time with us...my heart sinks. If only I had known that the last time I said goodbye to him...it was going to be goodbye forever....Heaven celebrates a gain....please pray for us who mourn his loss.

Rejichachen and his lovely wife..."Amama"

All of us enjoying a day in the backwaters

Rejichachen and his grand-nephew, Andrew

Rejichachen and his Amamachi...(my mom)

All of us at the Gateway of India

Pee-Yewh...Part Deux

I guess God didn't like me publicly telling the story about the pee scented gentelman at Walmart. I didn't write about him to make fun of him. I just wrote about him to have something to write about in this very blogless stage of my life. Regardless, He...as in God...taught me a lesson I won't soon forget. The lesson? Don't talk about people or their excretions in a public forum.
So, last night...I was in a bit of a hurry after work. I had made plans with Sheryl to meet at the park for a walk since the weather was so gorgeous. Now, typically when I make plans to meet with Sheryl...some sort of drama or disaster ensues. A little red flag was standing at attention in the back of my head, but I was in a hurry and I didn't have time to pay attention to it. So, I went about my business.

First, I headed to Barnes and Noble to get my niece her birthday present for her upcoming 11th birthday. After carefully thinking about what I could get her...I decided on the Judy Blume book, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." I loved Judy Blume when I was growing up...and the more recent selections for kids that age leave a little to be desired. So, I thought this would be the perfect book to jump start her reading interest and turn her into a little voracious reader.

After my shopping trip, I was all excited about the book...and once again, ignored the red flag that was standing at attention in the back of my head. I quickly went home, threw on a t-shirt and capris, put Moussey in the car, and headed out to the park. When we arrived, Sheryl was nowhere to be seen. It's a longer drive for her, so I decided to be nice and cut her some slack. Mousse was in a hurry to get the H out of the car and stretch her legs...so I decided to take her to roam around near the parking lot. I didn't want to stray too far away because I didn't want Sheryl to have to look for us.

So there we were, roaming around the field. Moussey was sniffing around, and my eyes were locked on the park entrance. I was keeping an eye out for the "Shrekky-mobile," as I was holding on to the leash...following Moussey. I should have looked where I was going, but I didn't...and therefore, I ran right into Mousse as she was taking care of some very important business!....taking a whiz! That's right...I had dog piss all over my foot.

Just about then, Sheryl drives up. Of course...it's all her fault! If she had showed up on time, I wouldn't have had to keep my eyes on the park entrance! However, she didn't seem to accept the blame! Instead she tried to tell me it was no big deal since it was MY dog's pee. Great logic. I tried to find the easiest solution to the problem...water. But, as my luck would have it...the water pump was broke, the water fountain was broke, and all the bathrooms were locked. Therefore, I had to grin and bear the fact that dog piss would be seeping into my pores until we were done walking our two miles.

Are you there, God? It's me, Sue... I will never talk about one of your children again.

Pee-yewh!

Baby steps...that's what I'm taking...maybe one day, I'll be blogging as regularly as I used to. But, right now, I make no promises.

I went to Walmart last night...I was in desperate need of green tea and some healthy snacks. I've lost ten pounds since I've been back and am hoping to lose just a mere 30 more. (ay yi yi!) Anyhoo, back to my story...While I was at Walmart, I smelled something quite strange and quite gross. The stench took me back....way back to 4th grade. There was a kid in my class named Shane...he had bowl-cut blonde hair and thick rimmed glasses. He usually kep to himself because no one really wanted to socialize with the poor kid. There were two reasons why. 1. He ate his boogars. Yep, I witnessed it a few times. He didn't just pick and pop it in his mouth either. He picked, inspected his fingertip carefully and then popped it in his mouth. 2. He peed in his pants. Would you like to take a wild guess at who the teacher decided to seat next to Shane? I'll help you out. A very adorable, brown-eyed, new girl with pigtails and elastic pants named Susan Varghese!! The stench of Shane's dried pee pants burned in my nostrils day in and day out. But, I uttered not one complaint because I was way too shy to utter complaints back then. It was that same nasty smell that I smelled at Walmart last night. I quickly turned and looked to my right...by force of old habit....but there was no Shane next to me. I proceeded to sniff everything...sniffed in my cart...sniffed in my purse...sniffed my shirt...sniffed my mom...but I couldn't place the stank. It seemed to just be floating through the air...drifting around my nose. I walked a bit further....and smelled it again...I re-sniffed everything I had sniffed the first time...which irritated my mom just a tad and made her a bit insecure at the same time. Finally, we were standing in the check out line. I had just bought my green tea and healthy snacks and was waiting on my mom some-what-patiently as she figured out the automatic credit card swiper thing....and then it pimp-slapped me...the stench. It just stepped up and smacked me straight in the face. I looked at the cashier and my mom and could tell that they had been smacked with it as well. The source was standing in line behind my mother. He was holding a new pair of jeans, which he desperately needed...since his the current pair he was wearing was ripped down the inside of his pant leg...exposing not only his thighs but his family jewels! (not that I was even remotely looking!...but some things you can just figure out) The poor guy had a long, dirty, off-white beard and was carrying on quite the conversation with himself. I'm not sure if he just happened to be everywhere I was in at Walmart...or if the stench just stayed and lingered around even after he had passed. Regardless...I was ready to get the hellz outta there and smell some fresh, clean air!

The past few weeks have been busy....so busy in fact, that it's been slightly dizzying. As I said in a prior post, you never know where the road to life may lead you. Never did I think that mine would lead me straight back to Oklahoma City. I spent years plotting and planning my escape...and when a way out finally presented itself, I jumped at the chance. However, the lesson I've learned over the past nine months is that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence....especially during an economic crisis.

And so here I am...back in the place I tried so hard to escape from. There are definitely things I miss about Florida....the sunshine, lazy Sunday afternoons at my sister's, fiercely competitive UNO matches around BF's dining room table, and of course, Maddicake's smile (when she felt that I deserved one! ;) But, there are also things I've learned to appreciate about Oklahoma....like a great work environment, friends who are happy that I'm back, streets that are familiar, and Taco Bueno! =)

I don't know where the road to life will lead us next. I kind of hope it's nowhere anytime soon. Packing up my belongings and praying they make it back to me with out breaking is not something I enjoy doing. I've greatly enjoyed my days in the sun....but as the saying goes...all good things must come to an end some time.

I think every Indian who tuned in to the Oscars felt some pride last night. When they announced "Slumdog Millionaire" won best movie, I stood and cheered as if I had written the screenplay myself!! I was especially excited to see the kids from the movie there last night....looking adorable and dressed to the nines!

I can't even imagine how excited they were to be there....One day, they were playing around in the slums of Mumbai and the next...they were at the Oscars! Just goes to show that you never know where the road to life will to take you.

Friendship, Love, and Loyalty?

The topic of today’s discussion is “loyalty.” It’s something that’s been on my brain this weekend, and I’m kind of curious how the rest of the blogosphere feels about the subject. The question is how much loyalty can you expect from your friends and love ones before you cross the line?

I have one friend who has spoiled me by her fierce loyalty. It’s the one trait in her that sets her apart from everyone else…and the one that I appreciate beyond measure. When someone has hurt me or offended me, she too takes it personally. In her mind, it doesn’t matter that the person never did anything to her…she takes offense to her friend’s offense.

There have been several million times, when I have witnessed closed friends cozy up to, exchange niceties, and befriend someone who has hurt me…and it merely re-opens the wound and pours acid in it . I try my best not to let it bother me, but for some reason, it gets the best of me every single time.

Sometimes I have to stop and ask myself if I would be the same way? Would I be overtly mean to someone who never wronged me, but wronged someone I care about? I think back to certain cases…I have definitely followed through on my instinct to be loyal…but sometimes I haven’t…I couldn’t bring myself to give the cold shoulder to someone who I didn’t feel really did anything “wrong” in the tiff with my friend. Which brings me back to the question…. how much loyalty can you expect from your friends and love ones before you cross the line?

25 random facts about me...

1. I hate can cake frosting…which is why I learned to make my own and will now never go back to the can!
2. I can’t watch movies that depict cruelty or violence against another human…(like the Pianist – I spent most of that movie sitting in another room)
3. I’m very competitive and at times, a very bad sport...I don't play often, but when I do, I play to win.
4. I am at my best when I’m planning/organizing an event.
5. I never forget a name or a face.
6. I rather feel cold than hot
7. I think doing crafts is therapeutic
8. I never carry cash, so don't bother mugging me.
9. I believe in ghosts...and have had a few ghostly interactions...believe it or not
10. Some people are scared of snakes or rats, I’m scared of prison. I can’t drive past one with out getting the shivers.
11. I have a secret singing voice that is really good, but no one’s heard it.
12. I am a recovering coca cola addict.
13. I have extra bones in both of my feet.
14. I find black head extraction fascinating
15. I have been working on thinking of 25 facts for the past 4 hours and still have 10 more to go!
16. I’m too scared to watch the show “unsolved mysteries” alone.
17. As hard as I try, I can never keep my car clean...and to be honest, I don't try all that hard either
18. I can’t drive at night with out my glasses…and sometimes I can’t even drive with my glasses! 19. My pet peeve is when people don't say they're sorry.
20. I was once interviewed for a PBS show….that I’m quite certain that no one watched…cuz even I didn’t.
21. When I have to speak in public, my lip quivers like Elvis.
22. I am pretty good at understanding conversational Spanish, but not speaking it.
23. I talk to my cousins every day....they are very amusing.
24. I love eye shadow (even though I don’t wear it very often anymore)
25. I would love to be an entrepreneur

For the Love of God....

In the month of February, love of is pretty much in our face at every turn. Whether it’s the sappy commercials for diamonds on television or the glittery hearts dangling from the ceiling of supermarkets…we are constantly reminded of the love we either do or do not possess in our lives. Although some don’t like to admit it, most humans spend a lot of their time seeking love. We yearn for functional love from our often dysfunctional families, brotherly love from our friends and peers, and romantic love from that special someone. Romantic love can sometimes be the most dangerous. We place all our expectations on another to “complete” us, which is not only impossible, but an irrational idea.

Once we find the love that we’ve sought long and hard for, we tend to do whatever it takes to keep it. We bend over backwards, make sacrifices, and sometimes put up with nonsense, although we know in the back of our minds that one mistake, one misunderstanding, one tragic circumstance could end our relationship.

And then there’s the unconditional, eternal love that most of us have grown up hearing and knowing about….the love of God. I can’t remember how many times I’ve recited John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son…” And although, most of us have knowledge of this love, we don’t seek it, we don’t understand it, and we don’t accept it.

I’ve seen God change the lives of several people who decided to take a chance and accept His love for them….He turned their lives from dull and lackluster to brilliant and promising…He made impossible situations possible…He replaced hearts filled with doubt and fear into hearts filled with peace and joy…and best of all, He saved their souls and offered eternal life.

As I reflected upon all of this over the weekend, I realized that I am definitely one of those people who knows of God’s love, but I don’t understand the depth of it….and then I heard this song. I typed the lyrics below for all of you…in hopes that it would minister to you as it has to me…in hopes that it would encourage you to open your heart and accept the free gift of love that God has given to you and experience the depth of it…It’s the one love that lasts forever…that knows no limits….the one love worth having.

Oh Lord You’ve searched me,
You know my way;
Even when I fail You,
I know You love me.
Your holy presenceSurrounding me
In every season,
I know You love me;
I know You love me.

Chorus: At the cross I bow my knee,
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There’s no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave,
Your glory fills the highest place,
What can separate me now?

Verse 2:
You go before me,
You shield my way,
Your hand upholds me;
I know You love me.
And when the earth fades,
Falls from my eyes,
And You stand before me,
I know You love me;
I know You love me.

The 90’s...It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. When I think back to that era, I see myself in my mind’s eyes, driving my cherry, red Mitsubishi Eclipse, windows rolled down, frizzy head bobbin’ as KJ103 blared “Biggie, Biggie, Biggie, can’t you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me.” It was my song…not sure why, but it was. “Hypnotize” was the first song that moved me to the dance floor where I showcased my awkward moves in front of shocked onlookers.

I guess it was memories of the good ol’ days that inspired me to go watch “Notorious”, the movie about the life of rapper, Christopher Wallace. Oddly enough, I went to watch it alone. Matt was working…and even if he wasn’t, I didn’t think it was the type of film that would pique his interest. My nephew, Aaron would have watched it with me, but he is 3 years too young to watch Rated R….and as his aunt, I think it’s safe to say that I’d never want to watch a Rated R movie with him anyway. I went to a Friday night showing…and was a little nervous about getting capped outside on my way into the theater, so I made sure to where my East Cost paraphernalia to play it safe. Guards stood outside the auditorium checking id’s with their semi-automatics nestled safely at their hip. (I’m not sure if the guns were semi-automatics…but I’ve always wanted use that in a sentence). Nevertheless, they were intimidating and it made me a bit more nervous for my safety. Was getting capped worth watching this movie?

When a family of four walked in…with their three year old child and ten year old…I figured I was safe. But wondered if the kids were? Why do parents bring their kids to Rated R movies? Especially one like this?? Hello…Biggie had relations with Lil’ Kim!...You think they weren’t going to depict her raunchiness in aN explicit way? The R moments made me cringe so I can only imagine how the kids felt!

At the very end of the film…an old familiar song came on….”Biggie, Biggie, Biggie…can’t you see? Sometimes your words just hypnotize me…” And as the audience filtered out of the auditorium (passing the cops with their semi-automatics)….we were all singing along with the song…It was like the anthem of the 90’s!!....Afterwards, I found myself driving home, window rolled down, frizzy head bobbin’ as the radio blared my song.

Lotsa updates!

Excuse my absence...I'm still not well, but yesterday was a big day for some special people so congratulations are in order....

First, congratulations to Sunu and Aby...they were married yesterday. I swiped a picture from DM (you can find a few more there as well) of the lovely bride. She is beginning her new life with her hubby in Kuwait now...so no more round table talks or mudslide runs any time soon.

Next...I'm an aunt again!...My cousins Bobby and Neesha had a precious baby boy, Kaleb....which makes Maddicake a big sister now. Aren't they a beautiful family?

Last but not least....Happy birthday Nik! I pray that this new year of your life will be filled with many blessings and lots of joy!

It's official...he's President Obama

Well folks, we have a new president! Being at home sick sucks...but, the good thing that came of it is that I got to see the inauguration festivities! It was amazing to see the crowds in Washington, and touching to hear the stories of the people, and emotional to see the nation's first African-American being sworn in. Although this is a very difficult time for Americans, it's also an exciting time...Hopefully this will be the first of many great changes for this country!

"LISA, YOU'RE AWESOME!"

Big ups to my CCL...she ran in the Houston Marathon this weekend! It was her first marathon...and not only did she live to talk about it, but she said it was a fun and enjoyable experience!

Since she's so shy and modest...she threatened my life if I posted a shout out...but, from past experience, I know that her bark is much worse than her bite! (Thanks for posting pics on FB cousin Alex...cuz I know she wouldn't have sent them to me in a million years!)

Lis, I'm super proud of you! You took our "Toughest Race in Texas" experience and ran with it...(literally) and me and Tee...well...maybe we'll follow suit one of these days.

Survey time!....

Taking the lead from J. Banana...

1. What is in the back seat of your car right now?
Ehh…nothing I’m proud of…junk mail, a fast food bag, and a spoon (I have no idea how it got there!)

2. What's your favorite curse word?
Asshole. It’s very descriptive, yet to the point.

3. Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Sadly, I haven’t yet smiled today.

4. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Contemplating whether I was well enough to go to church today.

5. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Reading one of my writing projects and trying to muster up the strength to finish it.

6. What will you be doing 3 hours from now?
Maybe venturing out for some lunch…or ransacking my fridge.

7. Have you ever been to a strip club?
no, thanks…nor do I intend to.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
”Move it, Mousse.”

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
I’m with Janna on this one…Lime sorbet…there’s nothing better.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Fat free milk.

12. What was the last thing you ate?
half of a phenomenal sandwich matt ordered from a Venenzuelan resteraunt. It combined steak meat, ripened plantain, potatoe sticks and swiss cheese!

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Yes, I know this is going to be shocking to you guys…a BLACK SWEATER! 6$ Super Target. =)

15. What's the last sporting event you watched?
A very sad college football game between the University of Oklahoma and the University of Florida. Boomer. Sooner.

16. Who is the last person you emailed?
My friend Terrence at BOC

17. Ever go camping?
Ok, I just smiled. So this answers the question to #3…Jana made me smile when I read her answer to this question. My answer is…no I haven’t but, I’d like to go to Disney’s Ft. Wilderness. I figure the wild animals out there are probably wearing costumes.

18. Do you have a tan?
My color well surpasses a tan.

19. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Not really…I usually drink it from a glass. However, since I’m a recovering addict…I try to go easy on the soda…I only drink it socially.

20. What did your last IM say?
”I drove back to your house last night to check the door…it was locked.”

21. Are you someone's best friend?
I better be after driving 45 minutes to check her already locked front door.

22. What are you doing tomorrow?
either working or making a doctors appointment. =/

23. Where is your mom right now?
At Home….in Oklahoma
-
24. Look to your left, what do you see?
A keyboard. Apparently Matt thought it was a good idea to buy it from my nephew at his garage sale. I guess he had hopes that it would some how inspire his wife to pick up piano playing again. It hasn’t.

25. What color is your watch?
Silver.

26. What do you think of when you think of Australia ?
Jay. Whitney’s boyfriend on the City. He looks a lot like Jesus.

27. Would you consider plastic surgery?
no, but lipo intrigues me

28. What is your birthstone?
opal, I believe….and I would definitely love an opal ring…*cough, cough*

29.How many kids do you want?
Unlike Jana, I don’t think one is the lonliest number. I think it’d be just perfect for me. I can barely maintain a household with one dog and one husband…so how would I handle more than one kid? But, if I had two, I defnitely wouldn’t send one back.

30. Do you have a dog?
Yes, my beautiful girl….Mousse. The other day, a guy was driving down the road and stopped his car in traffic to ask if Mousse was girl. Apparently he had a boy lab and wanted them to “have a lil’ fun.”….because Mousse is beautiful and they’d have great pups. Uh, thanks but no thanks.

31. Last person you talked to on the phone?
my sister…to inform her that I’m not well enough to meet her at church today.

32. Have you met anyone famous?
Yes, Arjun Rampal (a bollywood actor and former model)

33. Any plans today?
I was looking forward to playing Uno with my nephew and sister…but, that was just canceled.

34. How many states have you lived in?
Illinois
Texas
Oklahoma
Florida = 4

35. Ever go to college?
Yep, University of Central Oklahoma

36. Where are you right now?
At home, upstairs, infront of my computer

37. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
I have too many to get into at the moment

38. Last song listened to?
Hypnotize-Biggie

39. Are you allergic to anything?
no known allergies

40. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
I just bought some wedge heel sandals…I think they’re going to become my new favs

41. Are you jealous of anyone?
You know, I would have never thought I would be the jealous type…but here lately…I’ve seen the green-eyed monster in me creep up.

42. What time is it?
10:59 am

43 Do any of your friends have children?
Pretty much all of them...

44. What do you usually do during the day?
oh my days are fascinating…I process timeshare contracts…as I dream of what I’d really like to be doing.

45. Has something upset you lately?
Oh something is always upsetting me….I think I’m becoming easily upsettable

46. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
No, but I use the word “ Yo” every day. =)

47. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
the big three five

48. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Unfortunately…3 times. The first time, my cousin Shaji took me…it was an enjoyable experience because he didn’t force me to get on rollercoasters, which I HATE. The 2nd time, I went with my cousins….they promised me that I could get on the water rides IF I rode the roller coasters with them first…then they threatened to throw my favorite yankees cap off unless I kept my eyes open. So, I did…very hesitantly…and then CONVENIENTLY…the park was closing and it was too late to get on the water rides. The 3rd time…I went with the girls…I got sick and sat out on the coasters…Me and BF decided it was time for lunch and went to a place called Chubbies. The other girls came back from the coasters and began looking for us….saw Chubbies, and said…”oh they’ve got to be in there!” how rude!

Jana, where's 49-53???????????

54. How did you get one of your scars?
forehead scar…my sister was chasing me and I ran into the wall. Boy did she get her ass beat that day! Buahaha

55. What is your best personality trait?
My constant positivity! (haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

I’ve noticed something over the past several months. But, every time the thought enters my mind, I quickly sweep it under the rug. I choose to live in denial, I guess…and “I ain’t talkin’ about the river.” However, it’s getting to a point that denial isn’t really working for me anymore. The obvious is staring me in the face these days….

I’m losing it, my creativity, that is. Blogging used to be a daily ritual….my fifteen minutes to stand on my soap box and tell the world what I really thought of it...my one remaining link to the writer that’s buried somewhere within. As my good friend DM pointed out to me last week…I’ve been blogging since 2005. Always the encourager...he’s been this blog’s life support over the past several months. Some days…it was the sheer thought of his disappointment that kept me from calling it quits altogether.

It’s not just blogging…it’s the pictures too. I loved toting my camera with me everywhere I went…it got to a point where it was kind of embarrassing. I couldn’t simply meet up with a friend at Starbucks with out my camera nestled safely in my purse ready to pull out for an “artistic shot” or an “upshot” at any given moment. Very rarely was a special moment missed…I have a hard drive full of captured memories. Now? I have to be reminded to take the camera along…and if it actually lands in my purse, it’s rarely used.

With the price of gas creeping up again…and grocery prices being higher than I ever remember. I feel like buying a canvas is frivolous…and painting is a guilty pleasure, which I no longer partake in. Not to mention, I’ve run out of walls to put paintings on. =/

Yesterday, I was asked to help someone with a bit of wedding planning. As I made a few phone calls for the bride and put my thinking cap on to come up with ideas for centerpieces and favors, a familiar feeling came over me. It was a brief, sneak peak into the person I used to be….The person who literally got a high off when planning a shower.

What is it that they say in recovery programs? Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery? If so, maybe I’m on the long road to finding myself again….to igniting the flame that life somehow blew out. It’s disappointing, to say the least…to feel that doing the things you love to do isn’t practical…and when washing dishes and doing the laundry takes precedence over doing something that brings true satisfaction. *sigh*

It seems like just yesterday that my good friend Scooby Dooby Ruby got married, but nearly two years have passed...and now her and Abu have a new addition to their family! Baby boy David was supposed to be a 2009 baby, but he was bound and determined to make the final few days of 2008...great! Isn't he adorable?

Congrats Ruby and Abu...

Apparently I need to post a blog…I’ve been getting inquiries from far and near. Oddly enough, blogging more was one of my resolutions. Apparently I’m not doing too good with that one. I’m just at a loss for words these days…as shocking as that might be to some of you. I guess I’ll start off with wishing… the few readers I have left…a very Happy Belated New Year.

This year I spent the last few minutes of 2008 at Magic Kingdom. I thought it was a very Orlando-ish thing to do. Mickey and his friends celebrated by a grand firework show in front of Cinderella’s palace….a very enjoyable experience, I must say. Christmas, on the other hand was not quite so festive. Matt was working, so I went to my sister’s for Christmas Brunch. Afterwards, we went to watch 7 Pounds, the new Will Smith movie. It was fabulous…despite the fact that my sister fell asleep for the first half. (I filled her in on what she missed…and some of what she didn’t…I decided to add a few of my own characters and plot for fun…so all was well). Then, I took Matt some Christmas food (a quarter pounder meal) for lunch and sat with him at work until he left. I tried to make a traditional Christmas dinner for the 2 of us…Cornish hens, stuffing, potatoes, and a pie. It was a very low-key, uneventful Christmas. My favorite gift this year was the Dirt Devil Broom Vac my sister bought me. For those of you who have no clue what that is…it’s a broom and a vacuum in one…so you never need a dust pan again! It’s fabulous!

So, I think that’s gotten you all caught up with what’s been going on this with me this holiday season. I think this includes enough information to be a post….so yeah me!!...the first post of 2009…(and hopefully not the last). I will leave you with some pictures for your viewing pleasure...

My neighbors house....Nearly every house on my street was decorated with lights...and then there was my house. It looked like it belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Scrooge. =/

Cinderella's castle on NYE....Madison and her uncle Matt. They were doing a bit of a role reversal that day...He smiled like she normally does...and she didn't...like he normally doesn't. =)
Me, Matt, and Maddicake...she's wearing her home pants...I just love her home pants!