My confusion has finally been laid to rest...

I thought I would update everyone about Shibu since I had a few emails and comments asking for updates. We had a wake for him in OKC on Friday night, but his parents are taking his body back with them to Oregon. His memorial service was different, but beautiful in its' own way. It was truly something Shibu would have wanted...Two people came to know the Lord that night and several others dedicated their lives to the ministry.

I walked away with MORE questions than I had all week, and I spent another night tossing and turning as the questions reeled in my mind. What is faith? Why have faith if everything boils down to being God's will? What is prophecy? How do you know if prophecies are real?

Finally, at approximately 2:59 am, I realized what faith is...and why it's important to have it. Faith goes beyond hoping for “something”…regardless of what it may be. Faith is hoping in God….it is knowing that despite whether things work out and goes your way…God will carry you through your storms and lead you forward because His will is perfect. That’s what makes it so hard to have faith…because that’s a tough pill to swallow. We want what we want…and we can’t think beyond our wants…so to trust that something you want so badly is not God’s will and trust Him to lead you through the darkness and into the light…is truly difficult. But, THAT is why God honors faith.

As far as prophecies go…I am still a believer. I just realized that when God speaks through a human…it doesn’t mean that what is said can be completely understood by our human minds. It’s still God who is saying the message….and God’s way of thinking is not our way of thinking. We see things in black and white…simplistically…but God’s ways are beyond what our little brains can ever comprehend or imagine. So, to hear a prophecy over our lives…and think that we know what it truly means…is not realistic. No matter what…God’s promises are ALWAYS true…they NEVER fail. 1 Kings 8:56 says there has not failed one word of all His good promise” It may not come to pass the way we THINK…but it will definitely come to pass.

Do I regret believing that the dead can rise? No, it has helped me broaden my faith…and realize what it means to have faith. Do I regret praying for it? Absolutely not…It can happen. Anything can happen if it’s God’s will…because nothing is too hard for Him. 1 Corinthians 15: 12-14 says, “ Now if Christ is preached that He has been raised from the dead, how do some among you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead then Christ is not risen. And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty.”

Over all, this experience…as tragic as it is…has brought blessing into my life. I have been challenged…I realize how little I truly know about the things of God. I am eager now to search the word and find the answers to the questions that still linger in my mind…and I am encouraged to carry on the torch that Shibu has passed to all of us who he ministered to....and I pray that through all of us...and the lives we touch...and the lives that those people touch...etc, etc...that there will be a reconciliation among the nations and that a billion souls will be won for Christ!