The post I feared writing...

This week has been nothing short of arduous, and I am eager it to put it behind me. But, I know that it will never fully be behind me. The events of this week will always linger in my heart and mind because they have challenged me to ask myself some tough questions as I examined my faith.

I've danced around this topic all week. I didn't want to share the details because I was fearful. I feared that anons would lash back at me with cruel words for expressing my thoughts and opinions. But, then I stopped to think about it, and I realized that I shouldn't fear someone who is too fearful to back up their thoughts and opinion with a name to identify themselves.

So, I'm biting the bullet and writing the "details." After all, isn't that what blogs are all about? A few days ago, I wrote a post about the death of my friend's husband. However, I didn't mention any of the events that have taken place since that fateful Saturday afternoon. I visited his wife's home the next day, and to my surprise she was in very good spirits. Why? Because she firmly believes that he will be raised from the dead. I know this sounds crazy. This was my initial thought when I first heard it. I thought that perhaps she was in denial and couldn't accept reality. These were my thoughts before I realized why she thought he would be raised from the dead.

Her husband was very anointed by God. I only spoke to him a few times in his life, but he was someone who you could look at and truly see the thumb print of God upon. He had a desire to serve the Lord and a passion to reach lost souls. In fact, it was prophecied upon him time and time again that he would bring a multitude of people to know the Lord. THIS is why his wife believes he will be raised. She felt that these prophetic words that were shared with him by various people were the promises of God in his life. However, the promise was not fulfilled...and God doesn't lie...so surely God would bring him back to live out the promise.

When I saw her faith and persistence as she prayed, my heart ached. Could she be right? Could God bring him back? Or was she delusional? Finally, I saw a videotaping of someone sharing a prophetic word with him. In this taping, God told him (through a woman of God) that he "would bring reconciliation to the nations...to the nations of Ishmael." When I heard this, I kept analyzing that sentence over and over and over. A part of me thought perhaps, his life and death would impact many lives...and through those lives others would be touched. Perhaps THAT is how the reconciliation of nations will take place. But, what if he were to be raised? The prophecy would definitely come to pass then too! Why is it so hard for me to imagine him being raised?

I know that in the New Testament, Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead. According to scripture, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever." I began to do some research on the topic and I realized that it has happened in present times too. It's not a phenomenon. So, I started questioning my faith. Why do I feel that God raising someone from the dead is a preposterous notion? Afterall, all He has to do is say one word. "Rise" So, I began to join in with the others who believe...and prayed that God's will be done...if it is to raise him...then I pray that God do so and prepare our hearts and minds for the miracle that would take place. And if it's to take him...that God would send the Spirit to comfort us...especially his wife.

This has caused a major uproar in the city. People are torn, rumors are flying, questions are being raised and faith is being questioned. The adults think that the youth that are praying for this to occur are certifiably crazy. They do not approve of the fact that many of the youth are meeting together and praying over this matter. My question is why? I think many are concerned of the appearance of things...many people in other states are looking at us as if we are nut jobs. My question is...who cares what others think? I think a lot of the older generation have forgotten how it feels to step out in faith...to throw caution to the wind...and get radical for Christ. I think that if he is raised from the dead...there will be an outpouring of the holy spirit in this place...and a revival will take place. I would love for that to happen, but I know that whatever happens...God's will is perfect.

I've went over this whole situation in my mind time and time again...and I finally decided...
It's okay to pray about it...because the word says "in all things bring your prayers and supplications to the Lord."

It's not too big of a thing for the Lord to do because....."With God all things are possible."

It's also okay to believe that God will work a miracle. "I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

But I also think that it's wrong if we question the Lord if His decision is to keep Shibu home with Him....because God's will is perfect... "Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will."