But wait...there's more...the wedding is in May!!!!!!!

I recently switched cell phones with my buddy SunuA. When I tell most people this they give me this quizzical look...like suddenly they don't know what number to call me on. Come on people...heard of SIM cards? Well, if you haven't...you're not the only dumb one here. I've heard of SIM cards, but I wasn't bright enough to use it, which simply means I saved all my phonebook numbers to my phone and not my SIM card. THAT means, that I have to retype everyone's phone number back into my phone. I am actually too lazy to go to all that trouble, so as people call me I'm saving their numbers to the SIM card...(fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on me!) All of the above nonsense is to say that if someone calls me, their name no longer pops up on caller id.

So, y'day when I received a call from an out of state number, I didn't know who the heck was calling me or from where. I picked up the phone to hear a peculiar voice at the other end.

Man: hello
me: who are you?

*note to self...be more friendlier to guys when they call. this could be why you're still single.

man: who is this?
me: u called me, u should know.
man: i'm just checking...what's your name?
me: Susan
man: Sheeja?
me: uh, no...SUSAN!
man: i'm sammy
me: sammy who?

*his voice hardly matched my friend Sammy's friendly voice.

man: Sammy from Chicago? You don't know me?
me: the question here is...do you know me? and if you do, how?
man: do you have your profile on a matrimonial site?

*of course, my bro has me on every site known to the world wide web!

me: probably, but i don't typically give my number out.

*suddenly my mind flashes back to the one time i gave my number out to a random stranger and sorely regretted it and henceforth made up the rule never to give my number out to a random stranger. ewwwwwwwwww. it's him? was his name sammy? what the hell was that weirdos name???

man: where you from?
me: Oklahoma

*dumb move on my part. I'm giving the random weird license to come stalk and kill me

man: ohhhh, you're the penti girl from Oklahoma?
me: uh yah

*yep, it's him...the freak i regretted giving my number to. ewwww. he couldn't hang with my morals...so he labeled me as a fanatical pente....puhlease!

man: so what's going on with you these days?
me: not much

*thinking...how do i get off of this phone and away from this creep?

man: have you found someone yet?

* i proceeded to tell the biggest lie ever just to get off the phone with the weirdo

me: yes, actually...I'm pretty close

*suddenly the lie felt kinda good...it was kinda nice to tell someone I was seriously attached. I wanted to tell him more...like how "we" met, and how "he" proposed and what "our" wedding was going to be like...that coulda seriously went on for days.I wanted to go on with my story... i wanted to tell him about my bridesmaids...ooh and colors, flowers, who was singing what and the reception festivities that would follow the solemn wedding service...i was enjoying the idea of unleashing all my wedding fantasies out on him as if they were really happening... but he stopped me...

man: oh ok, well that's great...good luck with it

*totally disappointed that he didn't want to hear the rest of the wonderful story of my wonderful relationship with mr. right

me: alright...well, thanks
man: ok bye...

and there u have it folks...THIS is what i have resorted to!!!!!!!