It's no Coincidence That Billy's Initials are BS...

For those of you who WASTE YOUR TIME by reading Billy's blog for a cheap laugh (typically at my cost), please know that 98% of what he writes is very much FALSE. He exaggerates every story, which is of course, what makes them somewhat amusing. Since I've known him for twenty years, he has several stories about me to work off of and embellish....but, what he forgets is...I have a few too. But, I don't embellish...I speak only truth.

Before the lovely Val came into his life, there were other girls...Most of them were legally blind and attracted to his wit. There was one girl that Billy deems as "the one that got away." I can't quite reveal her name on such a public forum. But, we will call her "Shyanne"...Shyanne was a lovely girl and Billy was attracted to her on so many levels...He found her intellect to be astounding, her humor was far more witty than his, and her beauty was uncomparable. He kept these feelings for her hidden in his heart because he feared being mocked by her, but he was far too intimidated by her greatness to speak those 3 fateful words to her.

Instead, he would come to me after class and cry in my car. Her beauty made him weep. He blew snot bubbles in my back seat, and I would sit in the front rolling my eyes and wishing I could go eat a cheeseburger instead of listening to his sniveling. Sadly Shyanne never knew of his deep and abiding love. She often made fun of him, and although he laughed it off, he would call me crying about how hurt and damaged he felt.

Years later, she married...and Billy was forced to move on. He had only himself to blame for not telling her of his true feelings. He saw Shyanne at an IPC conference. I was standing near him and he dug his sweaty fingers into my arm because he couldn't contain his excitement. He ran to her for an embrace, but she turned away and made fun of him again...She walked away laughing. He fell to the floor and cried. People started to look at him, and i kept nudging him to get up. He wouldn't. I pulled at his arm. He wouldn't get up. I started kicking him. He wouldn't get up. Finally, I had to bend down and push/scoot him out of the room, out of the building, across the parking lot...to his car.

Billy wasn't the same for a long time...and then he finally met Val that fateful day in the elevator. Thank God...now Billy AND Shyanne can live happily ever after!


In other news, IT'S Friday!!! Have a great weekend, rat racers!