Say my name, Say my name...

Sunu K (the newest blogger in the hizhouse) and I were discussing my blogs of late. She said it's unlike me to be serious for several days in a row. She's right. But, I suppose the problems of the world have weighed heavily on my mind as of late. However, today is Friday. And it's totally against my beliefs to be serious on Friday. Especially since this Friday...unlike any Friday for the past 2 months...I have plans with a friend! Yes, Sunu A is back on American soil and she is FINALLY over her India illness that plagues 90% of all travelers who return from India.

Anyway, in honor of Friday and all the fun things it entails...I decided to write a not-so-serious blog. Today, I'd like to discuss names. A name is so important...it's one of the few things that you actually live with for your entire life. Parents should DEFINITELY keep this in consideration when naming their children. Today, I was writing a out a phone message for someone, and I couldn't quite understand the caller's name. So, she spelled it for me. S-A-N-T-A. Santa?! I tried my level best not to laugh by thinking of dead kittens. However, the sadness of dead kittens was outweighed by the hilarity of someone named Santa. However, her name was actually pronounced Sunta. Does it matter? I'm quite sure all throughout her life she must have hated the first day of school. Can you imagine the teacher? "uhh...(hesitating)...Santa???" Thank God her last name wasn't Claus.

Indian names are often the funniest. I remember this little kid who came to my church some years ago. Poor little guy...he just came from India...was finding it hard to settle in here...and as if that wasn't enough, his name was Titty. Yep, you read me right. And the pronunciation was no different than the spelling...TIT-E. Then there's the siblings with the rhyming names Soby, Toby, and Joby or Viby and Giby (sorry, guys)...these two even rhyme with their parents, Baby and Ruby. But rhyming names are bearable...well, correction...more bearable than a few Biblical names...like Dorkus. I kid you not. Imagine the emotional problems that will follow this child throughout life?

But, Indians aren't the only people with funky names. Afterall, Santa isn't an Indian. Either was Inita...pronounced "Eye-Need-uh"...Inita was a customer at the drug store I worked at when I was a kid. I'll never forget her...she was robust and MEAN. She marched up to the counter one day, and said Inita Ham. Ham was her last name. This was all the woman said. She never bothered to say, "I need to pick up my prescription. My name is Inita Ham." Of course not, that took too much courtesy. So my friend who worked the counter that day said, "mam, we don't sell hams." I almost toppled over laughing. The lady was outraged! "NOOOOO," she screamed, breaking the sound barrier. "MY NAME IS INITA. HAM." I guess the fact that we laughed louder didn't make her any happier.

Anyway, now do you see the importance of having a solid name? Last names you can't help...This is why I can live with the fact that although my last name is Varghese...I've been called "Var-cheese" "Bar-grease" "Var-goose" "Var-cheesy"...and many, many more. But, first name horror stories can be prevented. If you're last name is White...don't name your daughter Snow (also, a real person)...and if you have a son named Zach...his brother doesn't need to be named Jack...and if u're name is Inita Ham...tell the clerk you need a prescription...cuz you might get a ham instead.