Why ask Jeeves when you can ask Sue?

WORD OF THE DAY: jocund \JOCK-uhnd; JOH-kuhnd\, adjective:
Full of or expressing high-spirited merriment; light-hearted; mirthful.

IN A SENTENCE: I find Billy S. to be extra-specially annoying because of his jocund personality.

I was sitting at my desk inspecting the chocolate teddy graham I was about to inhale. Something about it looked so oddly familiar. Then I realized why...it's the bear's gut. Oddly enough, it looks just like the one I'm trying to get rid of. These were the deep thoughts running through my mind before the phone rang and interrupted me.

Thank God for caller id. The number on it was familiar which means I didn't have to go through my office shcpeel of identifying the company or myself...and I didn't have to make my voice sound like I was smiling. Instead I did my usual, barely-gotta-pulse "hello." It was Sheryl on the other end. I mentally prepped myself for her. Why? Because she always has a question for me. Most people consult "ask Jeeves"...but Sheryl's version is "Ask Sue."

This began many years ago...I was working at Hyded Drug Store before it turned to Eckerd Drug Store, which finally became CVS while I was in college. Sheryl was a mere kid...with very abnormal rashes and other unrelated health problems. Every time something was wrong with her she would come and ask me....as if I was Dr. Quinn Medicine woman. Somehow, I always had an answer for her...they were my best educated guesses, which she accepted happily. I always felt so smart...and it was a great ego boost, but soon the questions were becoming more and more complex. I was so frightened that one day the question would be way out of my realm of knowledge and hypothetical guesses...like "Sue, my cranial articular major has discombobulated...what do i do?" Finally, I just had to tell her..."Sheryl, I'm not a pharmacy major...i don't know the answers!" She was shocked and dismayed, and asked me how i was ever able to answer her questions in the first place...and I said they were just my best guesses.

I guess since then, i've always been the "Ask Jeeves" in her life. My educated guesses were better than nothing...so she continued on asking me the most random of random questions. Yesterday it was what kinda catchy kiddy phrase could she come up with for an activity about cows. Today it was where she could find fake tatoos for cheap. Tomorrow I'm sure it'll be something else I have no clue about...but i will not let her down. I will either guess an answer...or BS one so good that she won't know the difference!