A BLOG IN THE LIFE OF SUEVEE: On the mend...

I haven't felt like myself since the 1st and then yesterday I thought I was finally making progress. I had one solid good day...no nausea, no migraines, and fatigue was manageable. I pulled out the Cricut and crafted a bit, managed to eat and keep food down with no dry heaving, and was really chatty with my mom and sister...I felt like I was finally getting back to my old self. I decided that today, I'd actually get in the car, drive, and do something that I used to do on the regular. I've been missing my old life...and all the things I used to do that I thought were mundane...like go to work every day, walk mousse, shop, and work on parties. However, things didn't go as planned. After breakfast, I felt so nauseous...again...and the dry heaves were back. I spent the rest of the day feeling pretty blah and couldn't find the energy to drag myself out of the house.

Sometimes how I feel when the day begins isn't how I feel when the day ends. Things are so unpredictable. I have just over a week until Round 3 begins...and I don't even feel like I've successfully gotten over Round 2. Time is moving at warp speed and in slow motion at the same time. It's hard to put into words how chemo and cancer make you feel. Everyone always tells me to be positive and think positive...and I think I've done a fairly good job at that for the most part. I try to take each day as it comes and not think too far ahead. But some days...being positive is virtually impossible for me...because this road is long and the journey is emotional.

I'm really blessed to have my cancer buddy...he's like my own personal cancer trail blazer. He's gone through the entire process now and helps me see that there is a light at the end of this very dark tunnel. He's always been very positive, cheerful, and hopeful... and I've wished many times when I've been down that I could be strong and optimistic like him. But today, while texting me to encourage me...he said that he had days when he felt only sadness. He then shared this video of Eric Berry, a pro football player who was diagnosed with cancer and had six months of aggressive chemo. When I watched the video, I could totally relate to everything he said. My cancer buddy reminded me that if a powerful football player could have a few cry days...then it was ok for us to have a few too.

I'm hoping to finish out this week strong. My goal for tomorrow is to get out of the house, drive, and do something that I used to do. I didn't get that done today...but tomorrow is a new day! Until then...I'll leave you with a few pics of my Cricut craft creations...