So, it looks like I missed the first four days of 2016. I guess I missed all the New Years hoopla and talk about resolutions and goals and all that jazz...all of which seems pretty irrelevant to me at this time anyways. I think it's pretty obvious that the typical resolutions I set for myself...losing weight and spending less will be a given....given my current situation. My only goal for 2016 is to get through this battle with cancer in one piece....and then take an amazing vacation to celebrate the victory, of course.
I've been confined to my bed...in extreme close proximity to my barf bags...and sleeping most of my days away. Yesterday I dragged myself to the clinic and got some much needed IV's, but still came home feeling pretty nauseated and tired. I returned back to my bed for more sleep and then dragged myself to the living room to watch the premier of the Bachelor. You didn't think I'd miss the season premier of the Bachelor did you?!?!? Today, I'm exhausted, but have been sitting up for approximately an hour, so that's a good start. I also ate breakfast, and I don't feel it creeping back up my throat...also a good start. My goal is to finish this blog post and then take a very well-deserved nap.
People have asked me if this second round was harder than the first. And I have to say, yes...it was. This time I had all the anti-nausea meds I could possibly need, but even still I couldn't really get a
handle on the nausea. And I think I'm more emotional this time as well...possibly because I see the effects of chemo in the mirror...and it's sad and scary. I find myself thinking a lot about my dad and wondering how he felt in these moments. And sometimes, I wonder if he can see me from heaven...and when I think about that...I hope that he can't. Because I'm sure he'd be sad. And I'm pretty sure JOY is the only feeling allowed in heaven.
Actually, I take it back...I do have more than one goal for this year. I want God to use me...my
writing...this blog...to help other people who know Him but don't KNOW Him...to have a better understanding of who He is...how He loves...and to see His light even in the darkest of times.
My verse for the year...I like the New American Standard Version the best:
Ps 46:10
Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
 |
| Mousse gets so sad watching me so I sent her to her granny's for a few days |
 |
| pathetically ill...but thankfully I found some Burt's Bees with lip color tint! |
handle on the nausea. And I think I'm more emotional this time as well...possibly because I see the effects of chemo in the mirror...and it's sad and scary. I find myself thinking a lot about my dad and wondering how he felt in these moments. And sometimes, I wonder if he can see me from heaven...and when I think about that...I hope that he can't. Because I'm sure he'd be sad. And I'm pretty sure JOY is the only feeling allowed in heaven.
Actually, I take it back...I do have more than one goal for this year. I want God to use me...my
writing...this blog...to help other people who know Him but don't KNOW Him...to have a better understanding of who He is...how He loves...and to see His light even in the darkest of times.
My verse for the year...I like the New American Standard Version the best:
Ps 46:10
Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
2 comments:
Amen - love you Sue
Prayers for you. You will get through this!
Post a Comment