An oldie...

I thought I'd do a re-post today. This is a story I wrote back in 2006, but can still relate to today...and figured maybe some of you could as well.

She leaned over the edge of the platform to see if a train was in sight. Oddly enough, no one else was around except for the transient seeking a warm corner for his weary body. She passed by him just as he stumbled to the ground, leaving the stench of stale flesh in the air.

She couldn’t quite explain what was rising from her chest and settling in her throat. It was as if she had been punched in the gut and the fist was still in position, thwarting her breath. It made her want to cry out. But she feared what people would think of her despite the fact that no one was there to hear.

Suddenly she heard the sound of an approaching train. A sense of relief washed over her, returning the color to her cheeks. With the train now in sight she stepped closer to the edge of the platform again. The train was now close enough to touch and she began to feel at ease.The cars were a blur as they hummed and clattered past her, but there was something recognizable about the shadows within them.

She caught glimpses of images and felt something oddly familiar about them. Were the passengers people she knew? Before she could truly be certain, they disappeared into the haze. The train did not seem to be slowing down. Instead, it picked up momentum and was now simply rolling swiftly past her. She wanted to reach out her hand and stop it, but she knew her strength was not a force this strong.

Her mind began to move quickly as she yearned to join the others on the train. Perhaps she would run as fast as she could and take a leap of faith as she hurled her body toward the train. Her fear held her back from this plan. She then wondered if she should climb back up the subway stairs and find her way through the city barefoot. The dirt would stain the soles of her feet, and she would never find her way.Overcome by frustration, she rested against a concrete pillar, which she sought for strength. She pulled her knees to her chest as a tear streamed down her cheek. Wiping the tear, she felt something foreign under her finger tips. She rifled through her purse quickly and found a compact. She opened it hesitantly and with fear in her eyes, she stared at the image looking back at her.

She barely recognized her own face with wrinkled skin and graying hair. What seemed like a short time became infinity as she waited for that train to stop and let her on board. Minutes were really hours, hours were years, and years were decades. And she realized she had spent her life on the platform of the subway station…thinking, planning, waiting, hoping…but not living.

The search for the perfect jeans....

I hate buying jeans. And, I'm sure many women out there will echo that sentiment. But, lately I've had to come to grips with the fact that it's time for a new pair. I haven't lost a lot of weight, but I've lost enough to make my current pairs of jeans way too big. Even when I wear a belt, I find myself pulling them up every five seconds...and it's most annoying. Not to mention, my old jeans aren't hip. They're not that dark-wash that for some reason makes you look more polished and put together.

So for the past few weeks, I've been keeping my eyes peeled for the perfect pair of jeans. I'm definitely not someone who will spend over $100 for the perfect fitting jean....actually I wouldn't even spend over $25. (Since I'm currently in cheap skate mode due to the plummeting economy...I find myself being majorly concerned with cost.) I don't even like jeans that much...they're hot and confining...I'd wear a skirt instead of jeans any day of the week. But, EVERY girl needs at least one good pair of jeans.

That being said...cost is definitely not my major issue with jeans. I have several...the first being LENGTH. It is so hard for me to find pants that are short enough for me. Even petites are often too long. I always knew I was a shrimp...but when i shop for pants, I feel like a dwarf! I refuse to wear 4 inch heels with my jeans. Sometimes u just want to throw on a pair of jeans and some sneakers....is that too much to ask for?? CCL suggested I buy capris and wear them as regular jeans. She's evil.

But length is not my only problem...In fact there's one that's much worse. Most jeans are made curvy. They give a girl room for hips, butt, and thigh. And I'm sure most girls appreciate that. But there are some of us who have no hips, no butt, and no thighs! Yes, the lucky few that are just all gut and cheeks...and unfortunately, I don't mean butt cheeks. There's nothing more frustrating to me than to try on a pair of jeans and have them fit my waist and length perfectly...only to see a flap of cloth on either side of me...the dumb flap that my hips, butt, and thighs should fill. But these days, I have no choice buy to buy curvy jeans and pants and deal with the flaps by wearing long shirts that cover that area...mostly long sweaters...long black sweaters, to be exact!!

So, if anyone knows where I can buy jeans...on a budget...for petite, curvy girls with curves in the WRONG places...holler.

It's a good thing...

For those of you who are sweet like me...too sweet to eat sugar, that is...Peter Pan has a new sugar free peanut butter with Splenda. It's divine...perfection on an apple for an afternoon snack. Lately I've been eating it for a guilt-free breakfast of peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich too. I'm telling ya...I'm in lowe!