When bad news comes from India that someone has passed away...It's typically a gray-haired person that I vaguely remember....someone I barely knew except for a shared afternoon tea or a passing sniff-kiss. I don't grieve...I can't...I didn't know the person. I do, however, feel sad for my mom who lost yet another relative or someone she was close to at some point in her life.
But last night's news left me shocked, confused, unable to sleep...unable to think about anyone or anything except *him* My uncle Reji was 45 years old...and the youngest of 5...Since my grandmother was past the normal child-bearing years, his birth came as a shock to his older siblings....but it was his death that came as an even bigger shock. I'm sure when he left the house that day...it was just another trip into the city on his motorcycle...no one could have known it would be fatal.
I can't write this post without fighting back tears. I didn't get to see him every year...just a hand full of times in my life. But each time, I left India...I left feeling more attached to him and my aunt. Last night, I found myself on the phone with my cousin sharing my most recent memories of him...Memories I choose to write down in this space so I can look back on them and not forget how much he meant to me.
It was Rejichachen, as I called him, who picked out my engagement outfit. I had selected two and tried both on. I personally was in favor for the teal and gold one because I knew I had matching eyeshadow stashed away in my suitcase! But, after careful consideration...he said the red was prettier on me. I conceded...because suddenly the red became more special...since he picked it.
He knew I wasn't fond of eating duck. We had visited relatives who prepared duck curry for us for dinner one night....we were in a hurry to leave and they were in a hurry to feed us...so the curry was undercooked, rubbery, and disgusting. Since then, I vowed I'd never eat duck again. On my next visit to India, my aunt prepared a curry, which my uncle proceeded to tell me was chicken. I ate it...and wondered why he couldn't keep a straight face. When I got seconds...He asked me if I liked it. When I said, yes...he said "Quack, Quack." It was duck!...I had officially been duped!
In the mornings he'd take his motorcycle off to the city...but always returned in the afternoon with a bag full of goodies for me...as if I was a little kid. In the bag were samosas or our personal favorite...puffs...which we would have together with a cup of tea.
There was never enough electrical current in the house to make my dumb curling iron work for me. So he took my curling iron to the city and walked around to so many stores looking for something comparable, but unfortunately Kottayam doesn't carry Hot Tools!!
My uncle watched after my gramps when he was bedridden for several years. Every day...several hundred times a day...my gramps would call out "Reji"...and if he heard my uncle grabbing his motorcycle keys he would always ask him where he was going. One such day...my uncle was headed to the tailor shop to pick up some of my outfits that were stitched...the shop was called Paris Tailor...so my uncle responded to my gramps...with a tinge of sarcasm..."I'm off to France." I loved his sarcasm!
He was kind... funny.. had a cute lil' smile that usually meant that he was up to something. ;) He made my trips to India fun... always made me feel like he was on my side...was always curious about what I wrote about in my journal...shared my love for dogs...was the only one who could actually carry a tune and carry it well.
I can't believe he's gone..when I think about the fact that I will never be able to see his smiling face and his blue eyes again...that the next time I go to India, he won't be there to greet us or spend time with us...my heart sinks. If only I had known that the last time I said goodbye to him...it was going to be goodbye forever....Heaven celebrates a gain....please pray for us who mourn his loss.
But last night's news left me shocked, confused, unable to sleep...unable to think about anyone or anything except *him* My uncle Reji was 45 years old...and the youngest of 5...Since my grandmother was past the normal child-bearing years, his birth came as a shock to his older siblings....but it was his death that came as an even bigger shock. I'm sure when he left the house that day...it was just another trip into the city on his motorcycle...no one could have known it would be fatal.
I can't write this post without fighting back tears. I didn't get to see him every year...just a hand full of times in my life. But each time, I left India...I left feeling more attached to him and my aunt. Last night, I found myself on the phone with my cousin sharing my most recent memories of him...Memories I choose to write down in this space so I can look back on them and not forget how much he meant to me.
It was Rejichachen, as I called him, who picked out my engagement outfit. I had selected two and tried both on. I personally was in favor for the teal and gold one because I knew I had matching eyeshadow stashed away in my suitcase! But, after careful consideration...he said the red was prettier on me. I conceded...because suddenly the red became more special...since he picked it.
He knew I wasn't fond of eating duck. We had visited relatives who prepared duck curry for us for dinner one night....we were in a hurry to leave and they were in a hurry to feed us...so the curry was undercooked, rubbery, and disgusting. Since then, I vowed I'd never eat duck again. On my next visit to India, my aunt prepared a curry, which my uncle proceeded to tell me was chicken. I ate it...and wondered why he couldn't keep a straight face. When I got seconds...He asked me if I liked it. When I said, yes...he said "Quack, Quack." It was duck!...I had officially been duped!
In the mornings he'd take his motorcycle off to the city...but always returned in the afternoon with a bag full of goodies for me...as if I was a little kid. In the bag were samosas or our personal favorite...puffs...which we would have together with a cup of tea.
There was never enough electrical current in the house to make my dumb curling iron work for me. So he took my curling iron to the city and walked around to so many stores looking for something comparable, but unfortunately Kottayam doesn't carry Hot Tools!!
My uncle watched after my gramps when he was bedridden for several years. Every day...several hundred times a day...my gramps would call out "Reji"...and if he heard my uncle grabbing his motorcycle keys he would always ask him where he was going. One such day...my uncle was headed to the tailor shop to pick up some of my outfits that were stitched...the shop was called Paris Tailor...so my uncle responded to my gramps...with a tinge of sarcasm..."I'm off to France." I loved his sarcasm!
He was kind... funny.. had a cute lil' smile that usually meant that he was up to something. ;) He made my trips to India fun... always made me feel like he was on my side...was always curious about what I wrote about in my journal...shared my love for dogs...was the only one who could actually carry a tune and carry it well.
I can't believe he's gone..when I think about the fact that I will never be able to see his smiling face and his blue eyes again...that the next time I go to India, he won't be there to greet us or spend time with us...my heart sinks. If only I had known that the last time I said goodbye to him...it was going to be goodbye forever....Heaven celebrates a gain....please pray for us who mourn his loss.
Rejichachen and his lovely wife..."Amama"
All of us enjoying a day in the backwaters
Rejichachen and his grand-nephew, Andrew
Rejichachen and his Amamachi...(my mom)
All of us at the Gateway of India
9 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss, Sue. Your words are a sweet testament to a person who clearly means so much. My prayers go out to you and your family.
aw sue. now i know why you are sad. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. sending you hugs!
so sorry to hear this. your uncle sounds like a wonderful man who brought joy and warmth to everyone who knew him. my condolences and prayers are with you and and your fam.
*hugs* i was thinking about you. I'm so sorry for your loss. He sounds like he was an amazingly spirited man. you and your fam are in my thoughts.
so sorry for your loss, sue. my thoughts and prayers are with you all...
sorry to hear about your loss, sway. hope you all are doing okay.
sue..so sorry to hear about your uncle - my thoughts prayers are with you and your family
What a great tribute to your uncle. Your memories of him made me smile, and made me ache for you.
i'm so sorry to hear about this:/ i know your faith is totally helping you out in a time like this and i'm grateful that you were able to write such a beautiful post as a tribute to him. hope you and your family are doing okay!
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