Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Art of Small Talk

I went to a party tonight...and as Jason Derulo would say, I was "ridin solo." I knew a lot of people would be there and so I was very apprehensive about not having an FBF with me in case I ran out of people to talk to. What's an FBF? (Excuse me, I've been watching a little too much Jersery Shore, which has inspired me to use more acronyms these days) FBF= Fall back Friend. This is the person that usually accompanies you to a party or social event, and although you may get separated whilst socializing with others, you eventually make your way back to...and you can rely on talking to this friend when you are officially out of other people to talk to. Pretty much when you're married...your FBF is your spouse by default. But, when you're spouse can't make it and you're ridin' solo...you got no FBF, which is not good for someone like me.

I've realized that to successfully socialize among a group of people, one must master the art of small talk. I've attempted to do this time and time again, but fail miserably. I'll talk to someone and think to myself..."That's it...you're getting it!" And then the thought triggers my brain into a relapse, and I start feeling akward...and before I know it, I've failed yet again.

My friend, Shines is like the Pablo Picasso of small talk. The guy can start a conversation with a cashier at Walmart. He's forever lecturing me about the importance of talking to people because you never know what a simple conversation can lead to...business/job opportunities, new friendships, discounts, etc, etc.

I guess my issues is that I like in depth, meaningful conversations. I can't do the "hi, how are you?, good to see you, give me a call sometime" thing. It seems...well, not meaningful. I feel like I have to know the person, and at least know about some aspect of what's going on in their life, so I'll have something to talk about. I'm just not good at asking questions to people I don't know to find out more about them.

This week, I am stepping out of my little social box...or should I say my anti-social box?!? I have a lunch meeting set up with a perfect stranger. I am quite nervous...but in a way, a little excited to see if I'll pass the test that I usually fail. Will I master the art of small talk?!? Stay tuned...

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just read "how to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnigie. It'll change your life!

EmmiJayne said...

This made me LOL - as they say. I am exactly the same. People think I am rude and unsociable but really I am just shy.

kovoor36 said...

im either on one extreme or the other- totally antisocial at times or chatty cathy:)