I do stupid things...People who know me are well aware of my stupid antics...wearing things inside out, wearing mismatched shoes..these are just a few of the stupid things that I do.  Recently, I topped myself...and did the stupidist thing ever!!!

On my first day at work, I had to make long ins, passwords, and security questions to a few zillion websites that I use at work on a daily basis.  Only now, do I use all of them...I basically had to learn one site at a time.  So a few days ago, I was asked to sign  on to a particular site.  It kept rejecting my password and forced me to answer some security questions.  The first question that popped up was ridiculous..."What was the name of the street you lived on in 3rd grade?"

Uh, who the heck knows?!?  I basically moved every year as a kid...and although I have a great memory for useless information...that is not something I remember.  So I vehemently told myself and all my colleagues that I did not set up these questions!!  They told me to call the customer service for assistance...and I did.  Of course, they ask me to answer the security questions so they can reset my password.  But, I tell them that is impossible because I never set up the questions and I don't know the answers. 

I got frustrated and hung up with these people/called them back/hung up/called them back...FOUR TIMES!!  On the fourth try...the customer service lady had a little mercy on me.  She said there were three questions...and said she'd ask me another one.  I told her it didn't matter because I didn't set the questions up.  It was obviously a conspiracy!!  So, she said..."let's just try it"..."If you can answer two of the three...I can reset you."  I sighed DEEPLY.  And then she asked, "What's the name of your first pet?" 

"Mousse?"  and she said yes.  I wondered how that could possibly be right when I never set up the questions...the conspiracy plot thickened!  And then she asked me the final question, "What's your childhood nickname?"  "Sue?"  She said...no, it's not Sue...but it certainly ISN'T something I'd want to be called.

My eyes widened...in sheer and utter horror and humiliation.  Could it be??  Noooo...please God...NOOOO!  "FATTY?!?!?!?!" 

Needless to say, I have a new password.  Not only did I look like a fool for telling everyone that I did not set up my security questions...but, I set one up with the most embarrassing nickname!!  ANDDDD...the biggest big mouth who sits next to me heard the entire conversation and made sure to tell the rest of my team!!

I'm mad at myself for thinking a security question would only be seen by me...and I'm mad at my siblings for making up such a horrifying nickname, and I'm mad at me for answering them when they called me that...and I'm mad that I always seem to get myself into the most ridiculous situations!

Just got back from watching "the Help"...it's one of those rare movies that people actually feel the need to clap at the end.  Now I definitely want to read the book to see how much better it is!  As I was trying to find a seat in the theater, some lady stopped me and asked me if my name was Mariamma.  When I said no, she said I looked like someone she used to work with.  So, what that told me is that I apparently look 50 years old or older...because God knows no one in their 30's is named Mariamma. That's what I get for leaving the house with my hair in a bun looking like a scrub. 
I realized I have no consistent "look."  I'm part tom-boy and part girly-girl.  I love fixing my hair, wearing make-up, and accessorizing when I deem it necessary. But, I also love wearing boys basketball shorts with one of my worn, old, favorite t-shirts.  I tend to lean toward my tom-boy side more regularly...but, I think that needs to stop.  It's not doing me any favors. 

Anyhoo...good luck to all the students out there in the blogosphere who are starting school tomorrow!  Just remember..."you is kind...you is smart...and you is important!!!"  Words to live by! =)

The summer is officially O-ver.  My niece and nephew were here for two months and their departure always marks the end of summer for me.  Unfotunately, that doesn't end the heat wave...but I guess I'll take 110 degrees over blizzards and ice.  The weeks are a blur these days now that i'm a working woman again.  I'm pretty much busy from the time I sit down at my desk until it's quitting time.  And oddly enough, I love it!  I usually have this 1-3 month period of time when I start a new job where I'm quiet and sort of feeling things out and figuring people out.  That period is officially over and I've unleashed the "true" Sue. 

I have never worked anywhere that co-workers have called me Sue.  To me, allowing someone to call me that name indicates some kind of relationship or closeness.  At school and work, I've always been Susan...no matter how much I dislike that name.  (sorry to all you Susans out there in the blogosphere)
My nickname has always been reserved to family and friends.

It's caused quite a bit of confusion in the past...But, in a way it's like my two identities...my "professional" one and my "personal" one....although I am who I am pretty much everywhere I am.  (Whoa...did that make sense?)  Anyway...all this to say...they call me Sue at my new job.  And it's really strange.  It's been over a month and I'm still not used to it.  Oddly enough, sometimes I don't even respond because I mentally expect to be called Susan!  That's probably the craziest part!  I have so many nicknames...Poo, Q, Suey, SueVee, Sushi, etc...and I respond to all of them.  But, I can't train my brain to accept being called Sue at work!! 

The other day we were talking about people in high school who now go by different names on facebook...and how strange it is to call someone something you've never called them before.  I could totally relate to that conversation because a lot of people from high school contact me on FB and call me Sue... and it just seems unnatural and strange!  One of these days...I'll get a handle on what my name is!

Happy 3rd birthday to my favorite munchkin!!  We got to hang out while she was in Okc for six weeks and had a great time...We all got so attached to her spunky spirit and funny ways! 

 Maddicakes, I hope you enjoy your 3rd birthday!  You're growing up so fast!  I am so proud of you and all the things you have accomplished in just three short years!  I love you SO much!...Love, Sueny...oh, and Matt Uncle, Missa Chechi, Andrew Chacha, Mookey...and Jerome! ;)

I'm a person who enjoys lists...grocery lists, task lists, meals for the week lists, books to read lists...  So, recently I decided to create a bucket list.  It's not very long...and not filled with impossible goals.  I started talking to a friend who said she also created a bucket list...and was about to do one of the items on her list.  She gave me a nudge to do one of my items...and maybe do it together. 
Well, she's doing it next week...and I'm still trying to work the courage up to do mine.  We agreed to knock off our bucket list together...as much as possible...and then she gave me the ok to blog about it.  I thought it would be fun for the blogosphere to be a part of our misadventures.

But now, the problem is....me!!  I have to gain the "chutzpah" to actually do the first thing!  See...I don't even have the chutzpah to tell you guys what it is!!  If I do it, it's probably the 1st decision I've made for myself...irregardless of other people's advice or opinions.  Yep, my first big girl decision!  So leave me some encouragement in the comment box below!!

New pictures are up on my other site!  Check out the latest princess party I have been working on! 
In other news...about a year ago...my friend Sheryl's little boy, Elijah learned how to say the word "kundi"...which means butt in Malayalam.  Since it was a new word...and it sounds funny...he really enjoyed saying it.   Repeatedly.  His grandma didn't approve.  Afterall, it's like letting your kid walk around saying "ass"  all day.  Not appropriate.  So, she asked Elijah why he was saying the word...and more importantly, who taught him to say it.  To which he replied, "Sue Aunty."  Now when Sheryl told me this...I wasn't too surprised. Afterall, the child is hers.  And making up fictitious stories to get me in trouble obviously runs in his blood!

But today BF told me a story...apparently my little munchkin, Madison was asking for me.  She misses all her OKC friends and family after spending 6 weeks with us.  But, she also was asking for "Jerome."  Her mom asked her who Jerome was and who told her about him...and she said, "Sueny!" 

I think these kids are all conspiring against me...

So in case you were wondering about my weigh in Wednesdays...err, what happens is...I gain the five pounds that I lose every weekend and lose it over the week...gain it over the weekend.  So things aren't going too well.  But, I'm still trying.  In fact, I spent the evening making health lunches for the week.  But then again, the weekdays aren't really the problem. =/

Anyway, it's been an exhausting weekend...After setting up a princess party, fighting the crowds at the outlets, moving into the new building for work, and making lunches for the week...I'm truly out for the count.  I hear my pillow whispering my name, but found a request on facebook asking for a new blog post.  And I just couldn't let him down. 

So OKC just built a new outlet mall...which is pretty much where everyone in the entire city was this weekend!  Parking was brutal...and the lines were even worse.  The only store I really wanted to go to was the Coach outlet...but there was a line just to get in the store!  It was a 112 degrees out on Saturday, so I wasn't about to stand out there and fry for a new purse that I probably don't really need!!  It's interesting because when I talk to Sunu in Kuwait...she tells me how the news in Kuwait is always about how bad the economy is and will become in the U.S...I also talked to a friend in London today, and he said the same thing!  But the way people shop...you would never know that here!!  Supposedly we should be saving and preparing ourselves for complete disaster...but instead, people are standing in line for 45 minutes in 112 degrees to buy a Coach purse.  What up with that?!?

Well folks, that's about it for my adventures this weekend...stay tuned to see how the week pans out!  Will keep you posted...right now, I'm giving in to the call of my precious pillow!

Pictures!

Merly's going away/ 2nd anniversary party....Merly, Shines, and the creeper behind them.

cutting the cake...

 

The family...plus us.

 

 Me & NC...on her birthday.  This is typically what happens...I say something to crack her up just before the camera clicks. I'm composed...she's cracking up.

 2nd try...

 Me and my BF's...haven't taken a picture like this (that turned out decently) in soooo long!

So, I'm back from a fun night out with the girls (and no, I did not receive any senior citizen discounts.  Thank you very much!) and I'm feeling a little blue.  It seems like it's been decades since the three of us have spent some QT (quality time) together.  Back in the day...we made time every day for a little QT.  I drove my little red Mitsubishi Eclipse, NC drove her white Grand Prix, and Sonia drove her black Firebird with a T-top.  We often got bored with our own vehicles, so we'd meet in a centralized location (usually Taco Bueno!) and swap cars before driving to each others houses. My car of choice was always Sonia's Firebird.  Those were definitely the good old days...

It boggles my mind how much of the past they have forgotten...Apparently, that's what having kids does to you.  However, luckily they have me...and I have the greatest memory when it comes to useless information!  We reminisced about the crazy antics of the past...how much our lives have changed in the present...and our hopes for the future.  There is nothing like being with your old friends...people who understand you with no explanations necessary...people who've seen you grow and change and have accepted and encouraged you along the way.  Sonia claims to be able to read my facial expressions and know what I'm thinking...I will never admit it to her, but she's right every time.  I love that they both know me so well.

I wish every day could be a "Da32C" (and no that's not a bra size!) day...but we've grown up.  Our focus has shifted to our families and our responsibilities.  But it's nice to know that when we do have that rare opportunity to put it all aside and get together...our friendship has not changed a bit.  We're still those three girls who love to laugh, gossip, have deep conversations...and love each other just as much as we did back in the good ol' days!

 

Happy Birthday to one of my oldest & bestest friends, NC.  This is one of my favorite pictures of the "three of us."  And no, I wasn't wearing a neck brace...it was a turtleneck!  Anyway, we're all going out to celebrate her birthday today...I feel like it's been since the late 90's since we've actually done that!  Through thick and thin...the good, the bad, and the ugly...we've maintained our friendship.  I've known NC since she was a bratty five year old...and my how she's changed!  She's a great friend, wife, mother, and teacher now...and I couldn't be more proud of who she has become!  Happy Birthday!

Weekend in Review...

It was another hectic weekend....My dear friend Merly is leaving me...and moving to Utah for a year for an internship.  When she returns, she will be Dr. Merly Mathew, which means this whole year...although it sucks...will be totally worth it.  So on one hand, i'm elated for her...and on the other hand I'm going to miss her so much!!  She's the one person I know who loves deep conversations as much as I do!  This weekend we had a few going away parties for her.  A few of her friends hosted a party...now usually, house parties are not my thing. I knew there'd be a few people there that I didn't know, and I was kinda feeling iffy.  But, I knew Merly would be SO upset with me if I didn't go...and I reminded myself of the Benji pact.  Lately, I've been grading myself at social functions.  I haven't made better than a C...and on occasions have completely bombed with an F.  I know Benj wouldn't be too proud of that...so I was intent on stepping it up this time.  Andddd...I DID!  I even gave myself an A...I actually introduced myself to someone and tried my best to atleast say Hello to everyone.  Way to go me!  And, Merly was happy to see me there...so I'm glad I just grinned and beared it. 

I promised Merly I would write more in my blog while she's gone, since she's one of my 2 faithful readers (Thank you, Jerin...faithful reader #1).  So, I vow to do my best with that...but no promises.  I know she'll be too busy this week to check the blog.  So, I decided to share a story that I know will make her chuckle when she's sitting in Utah, bored outta her brain...

Over the years many people have overestimated my age.  People have asked me if I was Shines' mother, Derrick's mother, Sheryl's mother, Sunu's mother...even Sunu's mom's mother!!!!!!!!!  But last week...took. the. cake!!!!!!!  Sonia and I met up for lunch...at one of our old favorite lunch spots...Furrs Cafeteria.  Yes, I'm very well aware that mostly elderly people frequent cafeterias, so I was totally setting myself up for this one...However, I was still pretty astonished when I looked down at my receipt and saw they gave me the SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNT!!!  So now, apparently I no longer look like someone's mother...I look like their grandmother!  Ain't life grand?!?

Weekend in Review

I had forgotten how quickly weekends fly by.  But now that I'm working they are oh-so-precious to me once again.  I love weekends that are jam packed with things to do...but lazy, uneventful ones are nice too!  This one was far from lazy and uneventful.  I  spent the day Saturday taking my niece dress shopping.  She's not really a dress wearer...so I knew this would be a challenge.  To top it off, my mom was coming with us!  My mom is infamous for picking the most grotesque thing on the rack and showing it to us as if it's the most Uh-mazing thing she's ever seen!

Now, I've done a lot of dress shopping in my time...both for myself and my younger cousins.  I am pretty confident in my selections.  I don't think I'm quite as challenged as my mom.  But my niece makes me question my own taste.  We're not really in sync with our clothing styles...and she gives me the same "are you crazy look" that I give my mom.  But, I quickly learned that I have to be patient, and she has to like the dress or she won't wear it, and it's impossible to understand a teenage girl's taste in fashion. 

Luckily...after trying lots of dresses...and going back and forth about whether dresses were age appropriate, showing too much leg, and needed a little shrug...we found a really cute dress.  And then we got to go to my favorite accessory store...Forever 21...and I got to assist her in picking out the right bling...(which is an area that I'm quite confident in!)

Later that evening I got to spend some QT with Marissa and Andrew and we went to dinner at BJ's for one of their deliciously devilish Pazookies.  They told me all about their school, teachers, and friends...and then I told them how high school was back in my day.  I think that left them a little mortified.  =/

Today we visited my buddy, Sherika Jenkins James's (aka Sheryl) church because her baby boy, Ezra was being dedicated...and later we celebrated his first birthday!  I can't believe Ez is already ONE!  It breaks my back to hold this little linebacker...but I love doing it anyway!  He's the only kid...and well, human...on earth who appreciates my singing.  Happy Birthday, Ez!

When I first started this blog six years ago, it was more like my "on-line diary."  I kept it real and revealed the good...the bad...the ugly...and the funny...in my life.  I think that's why people stay tuned.  My honesty was interesting, I suppose.  Lately, I find that I blog less because I don't want to keep it real anymore.  It's harder to talk about the good, bad, and the ugly...and very little has been funny.  It's been hard for me to talk about "things" to people that I'm close too in real life...so how could I possibly post my thoughts on the world wide web for the whole blogosphere to read??

But, as I mentioned a few weeks ago, my cousin's death made me re-think my life...it made me realize that I was shutting people out and his testimony made me realize that we all have a story to share.  Sometimes just sharing our story can make someone else feel encouraged or not so alone in their problems or just simply make them stop and re-evaluate.  I love to write...I love stories...real life ones especially...so I...of all people...should know the importance of my story.  So I'm going to share it today...

A little over a year ago, I lost my job...Five days later, I got test results back from the doctor that didn't look too good.  Although I felt fine, I was sick.  I was prescribed medicine...and had to get tested every few months to see if I was getting better or getting worse.  The side effect of the medicine was pain...and I felt it every single day...some days more intense than others.  This combined with the fact that I was jobless took its' toll on me.  It was the first time since I was sixteen years old that I had not been working.  It was a total blow to my ego...I was applying for jobs that I was qualified for and that I was over qualified for...and nothing opened up.  I threw myself into "I Do Events"...and thankfully it kept me busy enough to keep me sane and provided me with the extra money I needed to stay afloat.  In fact, the whole time that I didn't have a full time job...I never had to borrow a cent and not one bill was ever paid late. I had an event of some kind every month...and sometimes two. But still, I avoided people...because I didn't want anyone to ask me how I was doing. That simple question..."how are you?"...would make me cringe.

As I mentioned, Benji was one of those people I avoided.  He knew what was going on with me...but I knew he was worried about me, and I didn't want to talk about my problems and make him worry more...especially when things seemed to be going so great for him.  I felt like I was a kill-joy...and I just didn't want to drag anyone down by telling them what was going on with me.  I felt like God had stripped me of my power...(as if I had any to begin with).  I've got to be honest and admit that I'm a control freak...I guess that's why I love planning weddings...I love knowing that if I'm organized and detailed, I have the ability of producing an amazing event.  The outcome is in my control.  But nothing about my life was in my control.  I wasn't mad at God...I knew he was teaching me a lesson.  I did question him though...why now?  why at the same time?  why wasn't I getting jobs that I knew I was qualified for?  But, I knew ultimately it was out of my control and in His hands...and I had to wait. And if you know me...you know I HATE waiting....I can't even endure Oklahoma City traffic, which basically shouldn't even be considered traffic...I instantly begin wishing my car could go into fly mode.

The week after I returned home from Chicago...from burying my cousin...I got a call from my Dr...my test results (after a year) were clear...five days later, I got a job.  (Yep, exactly in reverse...a year prior, I lost my job, and five days later, I got the bad test result.)  Coincidence?  Maybe...but, I don't think so.  I know it was all God's plan...for me to have time to get well, and then get a job once I was better.  A part of me even thinks that Benji went up to Heaven and pulled some strings for me...He didn't want to see me sad anymore. 

It taught me a valuable lesson....Life isn't always fair...or happy.  It doesn't always make sense.  There are good times...there are bad times... Times when tears are endless and times when laughter is hard to control.  And in all those times...God is always God...He is always in control...we have no choice but to trust in Him...relent the power we think we have, and let Him take over.  I heard this song at church one Sunday...and it brought me to tears.  I've lived this song...I hope it blesses you as it does me...

Happy 4th!

Happy 4th of July...From America's little sweetheart!



Party Updates

My other blog has been updated with new wedding and shower pictures.... Check it out!

Aaron...

Happy 17th birthday to my nephew, Aaron.  It's crazy how time flies so quickly...It's like just yesterday he was a toddler that I was making tents with and watching Barney with...and now he's become this amazing, smart, responsible young man.  I don't get to spend as much time with my nephews and niece that I would like to...but I love being an Aunt.  I loved rocking each one of them to sleep, giving them their bottles, and playing with them.  And now that they're all big kids...I am so proud of each one.  Aaron was the first baby in my life...it's so hard to believe he's now 17.  I look forward to seeing the amazing plans God has for his life! 

"The Benji Pact"

*Sigh*  I survived one of the most emotionally and physically exhausting weeks of my life.  I spent the week in Chicago...mourning the loss of my cousin Benji.  Our days began early in the morning...the entire family and the wonderful volunteers from the community in Gurnee, IL, would gather in a home together.  We would spend the day trying to offer our support and work on preparations for the funeral.  The days were long, emotional, and grueling...sometimes one day felt like two. 

I feel like this week has been a learning experience.  I knew my cousin had lots of friends...but I guess I never realized exactly how many lives he had touched, how many people he had helped, or how active he was in the church and in the community.  It really encouraged me to be a better friend, better sister, better daughter, better cousin...and over all just a better person. 

Benji had lots of great attributes...some that I was very aware of and others that I didn't know.  In honor of him, I decided I would make the "Benji Pact"...it is my promise to him to make changes in my life and take on at least one of his good attributes in order for his memory and legacy to live on.

Before I got married, I talked to Benji every single night.  I was just one of the many people he worked into his schedule every day.  After we both got married, those phone calls weren't as frequent....especially over this past year.  He called me, but I didn't call him.  I was in my own funk...dealing with issues that I didn't want him to worry about...didn't want to share with him because things seemed to be going great in his life, and I didn't think he'd be able to relate.  In essence, I sort of shut him out...and I realized it wasn't just him...it was a lot of people.  Now, I can't call him...and I will never be able to get that year of time back, and  I can't explain to him why I didn't call.   Maybe if I had, he would have brought me out of my funk a long time ago...

I decided that I would make a pact with him to take on his attribute of staying in touch with the ones he loved...his cousins, his aunts/uncles, his parents, his in laws, and friends.  He made time for all of us.  And I'm going to finally break free from my funk and do the same...because I don't want to be faced with regret like this again.  All we have is today...we never know what tomorrow might bring.  I need to show the people I care about that I care...or how will they ever know?  Another attribute that I decided to take on is his friendly nature.  Over the years, I realized that I am becoming more and more shy...I was once voted most friendliest in high school...and now I find myself saying that "I don't need to meet new people...I don't want to make new friends."  This will perhaps be the toughest challenge for me to overcome...but I am determined to do it...and I have made the promise to Benji...so there's no backing out.

Benji was all about his friends, his family, his church, and the community of Gurnee.  He touched so many lives and encouraged so many people...If I can bring joy or laughter or love to just a tenth of the people he has impacted, then I will have led a successful life.  The day after his funeral...all of his cousins on both sides of his family and his brother and sister in law gathered on the lawn to play a game of catch phrase.  We had spent the entire week indoors...in mourning, and we all were craving fresh air and light hearted fun.  As we sat there, laughing and carrying on...I could feel Benji smiling down on us.  It was exactly what he wanted...his family...together...enjoying each other.  Benji was known for bridging gaps...in his church, he bridged the gap between the older generation and the youth by becoming the church secretary and making much needed changes.  He tried so hard to bond with the cousins..and bridge the gaps between us, but he wasn't able to do that in life.  But, he did in death...that day, as we sat on the lawn...I knew that he was thinking that he accomplished what he had set out to do.

Benji, I promise to pick up where you left off...I promise to step out of my box, reach out to others despite what kind of funk I am...I promise to do my best to bring joy to people's lives...as you have brought to mine and so many others.

In 20007, when my cousin Shijo died...Benji called and we talked till the wee hours of the morning, shared our grief and our thoughts about life and death. In 2009, when my favorite uncle in India died...Benji called and we talked till the wee hours of the morning, shared our grief and our thoughts about life and death.

Yesterday, I received the news that Benji died...and I feel lost because he is not here to talk to. I can't seem to get my heart or my brain to accept that he is gone. When I heard about his death, I instantly picked up the phone to call him...hoping beyond hope that it was all a misunderstanding and I'd hear his voice on the other end. I was crushed when that call went to voicemail.

I have no understanding as to why my 30 year old cousin collapsed to his death... Thinking about it sets my mind spinning. In those last moments did he know what was happening to him? Was he scared? My only consolation is that I know that he loved the Lord, he was happy in his life...with his wife, career, friends, and family. He was able to enjoy life and live it to the fullest.

But, I will miss the sound of his wheezing laughter (something we have in common), our silly talks, our serious talks, hearing him call me "SueChe"...things I took for granted. In a few hours, I will be on a plane to be with the family...to mourn the loss of the one person in the family who cared the most about the family. I could share countless stories about Benjamin...As I think about him...more and more memories surface...He was a bratty little brother, he was my self-proclaimed wedding planner, we had late night chats and i'd tell him scary stories and he was always too scared to hang up, we'd constantly argue about whether we looked alike or not (i thought we did and he thought we didnt) , we once tried to conduct an experiment on how many people we could get on a 3 way call (we only got 5 people on before that plan went bust), we spent many hours making up secret nicknames for our relatives, he made me laugh so hard I'd pee, and he'd annoy me like none other...but we'd always be friends in the end.

Kenji Burian, you have no idea how much I'll miss you....how much I want you back.
Blogosphere, please pray for his wife...who didn't even get to celebrate their 2nd anniversary....and his parents who lost their only child...for his many, many friends, and us, his family who are struggling with the reality of his loss.

You know you're crafting too much when....

So it's summer, and it's blazing hot. I find it impossible to find shorts in an appropriate length. I'm not about to wear booty shorts, and walking shorts are more like capris for this shorty. So, I wear boys basketball shorts. Yah, I know...it makes me look a little "butch-ish" but hey, they're comfy. Anyway, so today I came over to my mom's to walk with her at the park. Before our walk, my phone rang...it was my friend NC. I sat in a chair outside on the porch and chit-chatted with her. As she was filling me in on the latest...I just so happened to look down. We all know boys basketball shorts are kinda loose...everywhere...like the crotch area. (i can't believe i used the word "crotch" on my blog. I hate that word...just like I hate the word p-a-n-t-i-e-s). Anyway, I digress...I looked down...and attached to my baggy crotch was a piece of hot pink, glittery tulle!!!!!!!! I couldn't stop laughing. And I couldn't help but tell NC about my discovery. She said not to feel bad...if anyone saw me...who knew me...they'd just think "oh, Sue's working on another wedding!"

Goodbye, O

I don't think Oprah has a bigger fan than my sister. She sucked me into watching the show as well. The past three days of the show have been so emotional....and I gotta admit, I've shed a few tears along the way. This very last episode couldn't be any more perfect. I feel like I've spent an hour of the day with a really great friend who is taking the time to give me really good advice.

It's funny...earlier today, I was talking to BF about finding a job that I love. I've always worked jobs that left me wishing away Monday -Thursday. My blogs posts from 2005 were merely rants and raves about me hating my job. I don't think God wants us to live that way. Each day should be lived to the fullest...not wished away. It was as if Oprah was listening in on that conversation...because on her show today she talked about "purpose" She said that each one of us have a purpose and we have to go about the business of finding that purpose and pursuing it. She defined purpose as doing something...and knowing in that moment that that's what you're supposed to be doing...that that's what God created you to do.

I have definitely had moments like that in my life...like my book reading in NYC or when I got to speak at a symposium for writer's conference in OKC...probably the most memorable moments in my life...when a lifelong dream was achieved. Sometimes I wonder where that girl went? Life should be filled with many moments like that, but for some reason, I've just stopped actively pursuing my purpose in life. Today, Oprah made me realize that fulfilling my purpose doesn't mean that I have to have a job where I get to write/create things all day. ...as long as I still do those things after my 9-5...the problem is, I always had a way of letting the grind get to me...and stifle me from pursuing my purpose.

I guess you can say, I had my Aha moment. Thank you, Oprah...you will be greatly missed!