I'm Blogging from my backyard swing this morning...it's become one of my favorite hangout spots lately. I've been sitting back here reflecting on this past week and how brutal it has been. I went through so much pain and shed a lot of tears but looking back I know God was trying to teach me and show me to have faith in Him.
Monday through Thursday of last week I was either at home in bed , at the clinic getting IVs, or at the hospital running tests. I was literally starving and miserable. Every night was sleepless as I tossed and turned in pain. I would cry and pray and ask God to give me enough strength to get through the week and travel to Houston for surgery...which seemed like an impossible fete.
My sister, nephew, and my little friend were going to visit over the weekend and I felt so sad that they were going to see me in such a terrible condition. Thursday I went to get IVs at the clinic hoping it would give me at least a bit of energy. While I was there my aunt encouraged me to request a pain patch that might give me some relief.
I was skeptical about the pain patch but by Thursday evening I was in so much, I eagerly put it on. That night Jeeves and I went to pick up Beena and Aaron from the airport and I was so miserable sitting in the car. The entire time I wondered how I would be able to sit in a plane for an hour if I couldn't sit in a car for fifteen minutes. That night was just like the rest...I tossed and turned in pain.
Friday I woke up feeling different. I couldn't eat and still threw up but I had more energy. I felt really good. I was fueled by little to no food but I had the strength to make a crab boil that night and watched everyone enjoy it. Key word...watched. There was no way I could swallow it and I was vomiting pretty profusely. Regardless, we had a great time! And I slept like a baby...didn't toss or turn or cry at all!
Saturday morning I woke up feeling great! Again, I was fueled by little to no food but had enough energy to make breakfast for my little friend, had a great, long over due visit...then spent the rest of the day with Beena and Aaron. We even went to the outlet malls and spent an hour or so walking around!
I know it seems like I'm sharing trivial tidbits of information but in this case I thought it was important to share the details...because Monday through Thursday I didn't leave my bed unless I had to. And by Friday, I was a different person! I don't know if it was because I was surrounded by some of my favorite people all weekend or if the pain meds kicked in...I'm pretty sure it's both combined! But, I was so grateful to God for giving me the strength that I had pleaded with Him for! I was so happy that all my visitors got to see me in good spirits and doing well!
I see now that in my time of weakness...God was building my faith. He showed me that the prayers and the tears I shed every night were not in vain...He was with me and He was listening... He gave me the strength I needed at the perfect time. He has showed me that my strength doesn't come from IVs or the food I eat...but it truly comes from the Lord. There is no other way that I'd be functioning so normally right now. Even during one of the darkest most painful times of my life...He didn't leave me or abandon me...God was teaching me to have faith and trust in Him. He knew that I needed renewed and strengthened faith in Him to help me get through the remaining challenges and obstacles I will face in the next few weeks.
It's hard to be positive when you're in pain and even more difficult to remember that God has a plan for all things...and that's ok. Everyone has moments of weakness and I believe that is the time for us to draw closer to God and seek his comfort and strength. You might not always FEEL that His prescence is with you when you are sick and in pain but you must KNOW in your heart that He is always by your side. Don't give up on Him because he will never give up on you. What I learned this week is that God is good ALL the time and ALL the time God is good...not just when we feel good but especially when we don't.
Monday through Thursday of last week I was either at home in bed , at the clinic getting IVs, or at the hospital running tests. I was literally starving and miserable. Every night was sleepless as I tossed and turned in pain. I would cry and pray and ask God to give me enough strength to get through the week and travel to Houston for surgery...which seemed like an impossible fete.
My sister, nephew, and my little friend were going to visit over the weekend and I felt so sad that they were going to see me in such a terrible condition. Thursday I went to get IVs at the clinic hoping it would give me at least a bit of energy. While I was there my aunt encouraged me to request a pain patch that might give me some relief.
I was skeptical about the pain patch but by Thursday evening I was in so much, I eagerly put it on. That night Jeeves and I went to pick up Beena and Aaron from the airport and I was so miserable sitting in the car. The entire time I wondered how I would be able to sit in a plane for an hour if I couldn't sit in a car for fifteen minutes. That night was just like the rest...I tossed and turned in pain.
Friday I woke up feeling different. I couldn't eat and still threw up but I had more energy. I felt really good. I was fueled by little to no food but I had the strength to make a crab boil that night and watched everyone enjoy it. Key word...watched. There was no way I could swallow it and I was vomiting pretty profusely. Regardless, we had a great time! And I slept like a baby...didn't toss or turn or cry at all!
Saturday morning I woke up feeling great! Again, I was fueled by little to no food but had enough energy to make breakfast for my little friend, had a great, long over due visit...then spent the rest of the day with Beena and Aaron. We even went to the outlet malls and spent an hour or so walking around!
I know it seems like I'm sharing trivial tidbits of information but in this case I thought it was important to share the details...because Monday through Thursday I didn't leave my bed unless I had to. And by Friday, I was a different person! I don't know if it was because I was surrounded by some of my favorite people all weekend or if the pain meds kicked in...I'm pretty sure it's both combined! But, I was so grateful to God for giving me the strength that I had pleaded with Him for! I was so happy that all my visitors got to see me in good spirits and doing well!
I see now that in my time of weakness...God was building my faith. He showed me that the prayers and the tears I shed every night were not in vain...He was with me and He was listening... He gave me the strength I needed at the perfect time. He has showed me that my strength doesn't come from IVs or the food I eat...but it truly comes from the Lord. There is no other way that I'd be functioning so normally right now. Even during one of the darkest most painful times of my life...He didn't leave me or abandon me...God was teaching me to have faith and trust in Him. He knew that I needed renewed and strengthened faith in Him to help me get through the remaining challenges and obstacles I will face in the next few weeks.
It's hard to be positive when you're in pain and even more difficult to remember that God has a plan for all things...and that's ok. Everyone has moments of weakness and I believe that is the time for us to draw closer to God and seek his comfort and strength. You might not always FEEL that His prescence is with you when you are sick and in pain but you must KNOW in your heart that He is always by your side. Don't give up on Him because he will never give up on you. What I learned this week is that God is good ALL the time and ALL the time God is good...not just when we feel good but especially when we don't.
3 comments:
Thank you for this message. Prayers, Katayoun
Greeting from the Morherland, so happy and relieved so see this post! Love you and praying for youuuuuu :)
Just said a pray for you. May God give you strength.
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