Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The truth about me...that I learned from a bee.

I think the fact that I took Spanish Lit and Russian Lit during the same semester with the same professor, who required us to read a book a week killed my desire to read for pleasure. I mean, have you seen the size of Russian books? When I was writing my book, I remained an avid reader. I read book after book written by Indian authors. While in India, I finished the book "Jasmine" by Bharati Mukherjee in one day!! But, I can't seem to do that these days. It takes me eons to get through a book. And I won't even discuss my writing these days. I'm definitely in a literary funk.

My cousin lent me her book called "The Secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd. Every weekend she asks me if I like it so far. Sadly, I hadn't progressed from the first chapter...even after 3 weeks of reading. Last night, I finally made it to chapter 2. While I was reading...one part of the story jumped out at me and lingered in my mind for the rest of the night. The young girl in the book was collecting bees in a jar. At one point, she felt sorry for them because they were hovering close to the lid...just waiting for the jar to open so they could fly away to freedom. So, feeling incredibly guilty, she opened the jar, but the bees didn't fly away. They crawled around the outside lip of the jar, but they never flew away to freedom.

After reading the passage, I remembered why I love books and literature...because it opens your mind to thought...gives you something to think about...I pondered on that passage for a while...and I realized, I feel very much like those bees. A lot of times I feel as if I'm confined or limited for various reasons. Sometimes I think I lack opportunities because of where I live...or that I can't do certain things because of my culture, religion, financial status...etc, etc. But, reading about the bees made me realize that my jar has never been closed...it's always been open. I choose to confine myself...or let things limit me. I'm merely crawling around the lip of the jar and flying around my ow small space within the jar...There's a whole world waiting for me just beyond the glass that I choose to place myself within....Now I just have to figure out how to spread my wings and fly.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i've lived my life constrained by culture and when I finally had something tragic happen to me, I woke up. ...realized that culture and family are great and wonderful, but when they hold you down , they are the hallmark of the great what if's in people's lives...and mine. Well, I finally got out from under the thumb of all that, and I can honestly say I was scared, but I never let my fear control my destiny. I'm the happiest i've ever been in my life.... spread those wings. ...fly little bee.