Updates and Birthdays....

I have to admit, it's been a hard day.  And I'm thinking there's going to be a lot more days like this ahead. Cancer was definitely a lot easier to handle last week when it was the only thing I had to handle.  This week, it's a bit more stressful when you throw in two insurance claims and a naked house in the mix.  I spent most of the day on the phone with the doctor, MDA in Houston, and claims adjustors...all this while I was at work.  Surgery date is still pending...so if you're praying for me, please keep praying that things move along quickly!!  Although I'm in the waiting phase I feel better knowing my doctors are still communicating with me on the daily and I haven't been forgotten or filed away.  Also pray that the remaining two tests I have to take come out clear whenever I take them!

I was feeling a little overwhelmed this morning when I got a call from my cousin, Mikey.  I started telling him about the tree predicament and the next thing I know, he was laughing hysterically and next thing I knew, so was I.  It was exactly what I needed  at exactly the right time.  Thanks for the laugh, Mike...and Happy Birthday!

Also a special happy birthday to my Molly Aunty.  I'm not quite sure what our family would do with out her....She's been amazingly supportive of me time and time again...but especially now when I need her the most!  She's come with me to my appointments and is always strong and encouraging.  She's such a blessing in my life and I'm so grateful to her!  

Seven Days of Faithfulness....Day Seven

Well, here we are folks...day seven!  I didn't know if I could make it till the last day!!!...not that I'm not thankful for lots and lots of things, but I'm getting a little tired of writing about it....and I'm anxious to move on to bigger and better things.  But before I do...Today, I was thankful for the best distractions!  I had so many visitors that I didn't  have time to think about my current challenging situations.  So, I thought I'd share some hi lights of my distracting day!

It's not often that my cousins swing by Oklahoma City...so when I found out my cousin Bobby was driving through with his family, I was uber excited to see them and the 4 Kurian Kuties.  I haven't seen my cousins in eight years, so it was definitely a great time catching up and finally meeting all the kiddos!

Later Baby Ava and her Mom, NC came to visit me.  Baby Ava wasn't really in the mood for selfies but she obliged.

Next, Htown requested I do some more DubSmashes...I forgot how much time I could waste doing them....but clearly, I have tons of fun doing it.  I think this is my best one yet...and I gotta be honest, I kinda have a big head on how good I am at this.  I sorta wonder if I missed my calling as an actress.

 So thankful for my distractions today because they made this Sunday fly by!  I have lots to do and accomplish this week.  Not only do I have to deal with claims adjustors and all the annoying damage to my car and house, but  I had pre-planned a trip to Houston, so I would like to go ahead and get some testing scheduled while I'm there.  So, if you're praying for me...please pray that all that will come together so I can make good use of my time there!!

Seven Days of Thankfulness....Day Six

I found it pretty difficult to find something to be thankful for this morning.  Before I even hit the ground running, bad news was delivered to my door step.  I wondered who could be ringing my doorbell incessantly so early in the morning on a  cold, icy day.  I tried to ignore them...but they were pretty persistent.  So I finally opened the door and when I did....

I saw nothing but tree behind the guy.  My heart immediately sank.  The beautiful, big tree that was in my front yard had collapsed.  Last year it was hit by lightening, but I hoped and prayed it could somehow survive it.  After last night's ice storm, it split in three ways.  One huge limb fell on the hood of my Honda Fit, the other limb fell on my roof, and the third limb remained, although weak and heavily damaged.  

Even as I type this I can hear tree limbs breaking and falling from the weight of the ice through out the neighborhood.  The entire neighborhood looks like it's war torn with broken trees.  Luckily three of my neighbors were kind enough to grab their electric saws and saw the limb off my car.  My poor bright blue Honda Fit was caved in from the hood.  RIP Sueberry...I loved you once.  The neighbors were too scared to saw of the 2nd limb.  It had to be done just right or it could potentially cause a lot of damage to the house.

So, for the first time in life...I handled a big girl task.  I had to call the insurance company and make a claim and then find a tree cutter who could take on the task...Luckily, my cousin "I guess" provided moral support.  The tree cutter told me that the third limb and the rest of the tree had to come down.  I wasn't ready to say goodbye.  But, I knew it was the only choice I had.  RIP beautiful, big tree...you added so much charm to my little house and you will be greatly missed.

So what am I thankful for?  Well....I'm thankful that this situation wasn't worse....and that my house doesn't seem to be too terribly damaged.  And although I lost Sueberry...she was just a spare and I have another car, so I don't have to find a replacement.  And I'm thankful for my neighbors who are pretty awesome in time of need.  All's well...that ends well....

My house with the big, beautiful tree..

Poor Sueberry trapped beneath the massive limb

What an amazing sight on a Saturday morning!

Seven Days of Thankfulness....Day Five

I've learned that being thankful and dwelling on the things you're grateful for is a great way to battle the blues.  So it's funny that God...in his infinite wisdom...gave me this brilliant idea to start Seven Days of Thankfulness on the most emotionally grueling week of my life.  You see, he knows that I couldn't start writing a seven day series and end at day two....it would drive me insane.  He wanted me to keep reflecting on the things I'm most grateful for in order to keep me positive and focused on what's good in my life right now.

I started this blog in 2005 and over ten years I've written a lot about absolutely nothing and a little bit of everything.  It's been a hodge podge of my life's misadventures.  So, I thought it'd be the perfect space to chronicle what I'm going through right now.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I've been having problems swallowing as of late...three months to be exact.  I'm notorious for having medical issues and letting them fester and get worse because I have avoidance issues and I feel like Dr's visits always seem to lead to.....more Dr's visits.  But, this time I was surprisingly proactive.  Possibly because I love food...especially swallowing it!!

I got referred to a GI specialist, who poked and prodded my gut a little and listened to my rant about my esophagus...and then assured me that I had nothing to worry about.  Sometimes your esophagus can narrow on its' own and that's what he thought mine was doing.  He scheduled an endoscopy a few days later to widen my esophagus a bit.  The day of the endoscopy I was eager to get the issue resolved.  I wanted to eat my dry piece of turkey breast on Thanksgiving painlessly!  But, when I woke up from anesthesia I had an even bigger problem....he found a mass.

On Monday morning, I found out the mass had a name...esophageal adenocarcinoma.  So, I'm 41 years old, and I have cancer.  I didn't even have a day to process the information before I was thrown face first into battle mode.  Everything this week has moved at lightening speed.  That same day I was in the hospital for a CT scan...which was clear, by the way....no spreading to my organs or bones!  The next day I was meeting with my oncologist.  It was overwhelming, to say the least.  He used phrases like "aggressive mass" and "high morbidity rate" and "you need chemotherapy."  

I realized that I hadn't thought this thing through.  I thought I'd have snip here and a snip there and be perfectly okay.  But those snips are apparently a highly complex resection that can't be done here in Oklahoma.  Not to mention chemo...  Upon my Dr's suggestion, I'm gearing up for surgery in Houston at MD Anderson.  I don't have the details ironed out yet because I have more testing to do to see if the cancer has spread to my lymph nodes.

I would have never thought that I'd end the year by beginning a battle with cancer.  Then again, I never thought I'd be so mentally prepared to deal with all of this either.  But life is full of little surprises.  Which brings me to why I'm thankful....

This week, I had to deliver this news to my friends and family.  It's not a statement that someone is ever prepared to make or hear.  I know that it was just as hard on all of them as it was on me.  So today I'm thankful for an amazing group of friends and family...who always make me feel loved and supported.  I don't know how many people responded with "I'm praying" and "please let us help you."
Words can't express how grateful I am to know that I don't have to go through this battle on my own...but that there are amazing people standing with me.

I've decided to use this blog as a portal to keep everyone posted with updates.  I haven't been a consistent blogger/writer in several years.  But I'm committed to it now...and I feel like I have a story to share as I start this journey to kick cancer's butt. 

Seven Days of Thankfulness....Day Four

I don't think I've ever been more reflective or thankful on Thanksgiving than I am this year. Thankfulness shouldn't be something we save for one day of the year it should be a daily occurrence. But life gets in the way...bad days at work, fights with your spouse, financial worries, health problems...the list is endless!! The things we are not thankful for block our vision of the plethora of simple things we overlook and should be thankful for.

As silly as this sounds, this year one of the things I'm most thankful for is the ability to eat a thanksgiving meal. I have been struggling with a pain in my esophagus that has made me grimace while swallowing something as simple as water. However today, I can take smaller bites and chew till my food is pulverized and swallow turkey and fixings!!  My heart goes out to my new friend who struggles with my same issue I do but is on a feeding tube.

We overlook the simple things in life...until we no longer have them. Take time to reflect and be thankful on the daily...it helps to keep your mind positive and focused on what's important.

I'm also thankful for BF! Today is her birthday!! I'm so grateful for her life and so many years of friendship! She is my sunshine when skies are gray!!

Happy Birthday, BF!

Seven Days of Thankfulness...Day Three

Ironically some of the things that I'm thankful for are also the things I complain about the most. I've often grumbled about why God gave me a creative brain. I much rather have a math/science brain that would land me a fancy job and  heavy cash flow. But instead I have the uncanny ability to watch M Knight Shymalan movies and know that "the Village" was really his view of 1st generation Indians in America. Is that a stretch?? Possibly... I digress.

But, I love creating things...whether it be a blog post or the perfect cupcake topper for a birthday party!!  My creativity has opened doors for me to make friends...like my beautiful brides!!...have fun experiences...like book reading NYC...has challenged me...like when I work with squirrellyMerly on her visions of grandeur...and provided me with so many crazy memories...like the time Sheba and I got a call from a Mother of the Bride about a missing Amachi.

I do realize creativity is a blessing and a gift from God...and it makes me uniquely me!

my current favorite mug...

Seven Days of Thankfulness....Day Two

This year, I am especially grateful that I was able to go on a trip of a lifetime to Greece!   My awesome sister and BIL let me tag along on their family vacay!  I would have been a fool to pass that one up.  We spent 9 days in beautiful, Greece!  It's hard to pick a favorite moment or experience...how do you choose when you're dealing with the ancient ruins of Athens or staring at the beautiful blue Aegean Sea from your villa in Santorini!  I guess what I found to be most interesting were the locals and learning about the way they live....

Gus lived in Athens, and he was our driver.  The amount of history that even the drivers know about the ruins is simply mind boggling.  Although we did hire a tour guide, I'm pretty sure we didn't need one because Gus could have told us the same thing.  He was so kind and compassionate, so to hear about his struggles with the economy crisis in Greece was a pretty heart wrenching.  He was the only person working in his family of five, which included three adult children!!  He said the unemployment rate for the older generation was about 20% and among people between the ages of 20-30 it was 50%.  Pretty unreal...

In Santorini, I met George, who was our driver and tour guide.  If anyone is reading this right now and ever plans on visiting Santorini...which I suggest all of you do...please contact me so I can try to help get you in touch with George.  There's not a crevice of Santorini that he doesn't know.  He's kind of the Rico Suave of the island.  Ever the bachelor, he kinda just roams about the island in his Hummer being a Bad Ass with his collar popped.  He's worked as a guide/driver with all sorts of celebrities...like Hrithik Roshan!!

While we yachted on the Aegean see, I met Eddy...He was the co-captain and chef on the yacht.  His culinary skills were amazing...for a guy whose real profession was being a painter.  He was pretty much a jack of all trades and he mastered all of them.  When I interrogated...err, i mean, chatted with him, he told me about how he met his wife in Santorini.  Apparently a lot of Japanese come to Santorini to get married, and she had come along with a couple as the bride's hair dresser.  She met Eddy, they fell in love, and they got married!!...She never went back.  How romantic!!!  They've been married for three years, and this will be the first year he goes back with her to Japan.  He said they work pretty much day and night for seven months out of the year in Santorini and then chill for five months and travel and do whatever they want.  I could handle that...Don't think I didn't think about staying there.

So aside from the people and the beauty of Greece...the food was phenomenal.  Gyros...greek salad...fried anchovies...the best seafood ever...and shrimp saganaki!  Thankfully, I brought a few recipes home with me and can do a pretty close mimic...but nothing will ever compare!

Seven Days of Thankfulness....Day One

It's Thanksgiving week!  What better way to spend this week than reflecting on what I'm thankful for.  It's super easy to think about all the things wrong in your life...but it's a little bit more challenging to think about the good things.

Four and a half years ago, when I was unemployed my frenemy...AKA Shines... suggested that I apply at Paycom.  Thinking we'd be in the same building...and that we'd probably want to kill each other most days... I said, "no thanks."  But he was persistent and he brought up a really good point...I needed a job desperately.  So, I gave in and let him work his magic...and Viola!...I got the job!! 

Since then I've grumbled on Mondays....ok, and Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.... but in all honesty, I am so thankful for my job at Paycom...ok ok, and I'm thankful for my frenemy too!!  I tend to lose sight of my gratefulness when I'm up to my eyeballs in work, but I  actually couldn't think of a company in Oklahoma that I'd rather work for right now! I could brag about the $1 insurance, the $4 lunches, the monthly luncheons, Paycom Prom and all the other fun things we do....but those aren't the things that really impact my life.  I've made some unbelievable friends at Paycom.  I can't call them co-workers because that term just doesn't fit when I think about what an integral part of my life they are.  Apparently I'm not the only one who feels this way about Paycom or the friends I've made there.    But most of all, Paycom has given me stability.  I'm not living like life styles of the rich and famous by any means.  But I'm doing just fine...I'm comfortable...even with a horrible on-line shopping addiction! 

So on day one of thankfulness week...I'm ever so thankful to God for opening up this door of opportunity for me to have a stable job at a stable company that cares about the happiness and well-being of their employees and for bringing people into my life that I know will be my besties for the restie!

PayCom Peeps!

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Soul Mates....Fact or Fiction

A friend and I were discussing "soulmates" the other day....I was pro.  She was con.  She asked me to explain my stance, but we were texting and she didn't quite catch my drift, so I told her I'd write about it in my next blog.  Days passed and I didn't quite feel inspired to write about something so heavy.  But, here I am on a Saturday night...cuddled up with Moussey under my cozy, new blanket watching the Sex and the City Movie.  I've watched it nearly a dozen times, but I can never get enough.  Watching Carrie and Mr. Big  jump through hurdles to finally tie the knot ***spoiler alert*** suddenly inspired me to write about my stance on soulmates.  I mean was there ever a more romantic pair of soulmates on TV?!?!?

It's a highly debatable topic...so just a reminder, everything you read here is merely my opinion.  I realize there is no right or wrong answer to this question.  

Why I Believe in Soulmates

By SueVee

I believe that God has selected one soulmate for each one of us.  I realize this places a lot of pressure on people to find that one person....but hey, no one ever said love was easy.  So not only do you have to find that one person, but you have to convince that person that they're you're soulmate and you're theirs....GOOD LUCK!  Now, I'm not saying that if you find your soulmate, everything is going to be amazing and you'll be skipping through fields of daisies.  Relationships are hard and they take work, regardless of who you're with. God is also a very important factor in this.  Just because you find your soulmate doesn't mean you don't need God's love.  He's the third strand.  With out God, you will never feel content or fully loved.  After all, God is love.  I believe that God intended us to share our lives with one person (mainly) and then share our love with everyone.  He designated and set aside one person just for each of us to connect with at a soul level.  The challenge is finding that person.  

Most of what I just wrote sounds pretty sensible, I think.  Here's where  people start to think I'm crazy....What if you know someone is your soulmate and they don't agree or they die or they pick someone else...or you pick someone else??  Well, the reality of life is that it isn't perfect.  Sometimes these things happen.  Does this mean you'll be miserable for the rest of your life?  I don't think misery is the correct word.  I think that you can still love and be loved by someone else.  But the connection will not be as deep...to the core...as what you would have with your soulmate.

Now, I could be totally wrong.  Realistically, I probably am.  But, I've watched a lot of RomCom's and read a lot of ChickLit and this is what happens to your brain after years of doing so.  I would like to think that all the Carrie Bradshaws and Mr. Bigs of the world end up together....but I know it's not always the case. But for those of you reading this who think your soulmate might have slipped away ask yourself if Carrie ended up with Aiden instead...would life have been so bad?

Happy Birthday to the Maternal Unit on this...her 70th birthday

My mom...she's a character.  Now i'm sure a lot of daughters say this  about their mothers.  But no, really...my mom is definitely a character.  Sometimes I don't know if she's gotten the memo that I'm actually 41 years old...because she still checks on me 2-3 times a day, wants to know where I'm going and when I'm going to be back...even though I don't live with her.  I don't know that there's a single solitary human on earth that drives me as insane as she does...but I also don't know if there's  a single solitary human on earth that loves me the way she does.  Happy 70th birthday to my mom!!

My mom with her grandkids...minus Aaron.

My Dog is Transpecies....

I think from the beginning, Mousse has never received the memo that she’s a dog.  When she was a puppy, we butt heads over this constantly.  I tried to do puppy things with her...like play fetch, but she wanted to play keep away instead…I tried to make her spend time outside, but she never would unless I was out there too….I tried to make her sleep on a dog bed, but she preferred my bed over hers…I arranged play dates with my friends’ dogs, but she had no interest in the dogs and wanted to play with my friends instead, she even refused to eat dog food unless it was topped with milk or some kind of human food.  It became abundantly clear to me that my dog is transspecies and that I had to accept her as a human because she would never behave like the dog species she was born into.  People think I’m nuts for the way I cater to her like she’s a little kid.  But, that’s the way she sees herself and now, that’s the way I see her….one big bratty little girl!!  

Every once in a while, I’m reminded how absolutely abnormal it is…Like when Htown brings her pup over.  Riley is a typical pup…she’s playful, loves to be outside, eats her dog food, chases after critters and bugs, plays fetch, sleeps on a dog bed.  She’s a dog’s dog.  This could be why Mousse wants to have nothing to do with her.  She often tries to pretend like she doesn’t see her by being super still and turning her eyes away from her in hopes that Riley will mistake her for a dog statue instead of a dog.

I wonder if there are groups for transspecies dogs.  If not, maybe Mousse and I should start one.

Mousse ignoring Riley... 

 Me &  sweet Riley pup!!  I love her!!  Shh...don't tell Mousse!

Make-Up Hacks...

So this summer, I made a few new friends...two of which are "chocolate chip" and "Htown"  I use aliases not to protect their identity but because it's more fun for me to come up with aliases.  Anyway, these two ladies have introduced me to a lot of new things in the short time that we've been friends...Like new trendy eateries in OKC, how to make a lychee martini, the movie Tristan and Isolde, and make up hacks!!

Chocolate chip showed me an amazing make up hack by Deepicam on youtube.  When I first saw this, I seriously doubted it would work...I have skin discoloration on the side of my cheeks that I am always trying to cover up.  It's been one of those rare Saturdays that I had nothing going on and had time to spare to test out a good make up hack.  So I watched the video one more time, and proceeded to smear on red lipstick on my cheeks!  I then covered the lipstick with concealer, and then used foundation and powder for finishing touches.

So, here's the finished product!  No visible red lipstick on my cheek...and no dark line on the side either!!  I was so surprised!  I'm not sure how in the world this works, but it does, and it's so amazing!  Thank you Deepicam for sharing your brilliance!...and thank you chocolate chip, for always keeping me in the loop about make up do's and dont's!

Fun Facts about Fetty Wap Friday...

It's Fetty Wap Friday....what does that mean?  Well, we're going to learn five fun facts about my current favorite rapper...the one whose tunes will undoubtedly get me through a very boring Friday at work!

1.  Fetty Wap's real name is Willie Maxwell-  He was nicknamed "Fetty" which is a slang for  money.

2.  He developed glaucoma in both his eyes and the doctors were unable to save his left eye and so he was fitted an ocular prosthesis.

3.  Trap Queen was released in February 2014 but didn't gain recognition until November 2014

4.  Fetty usually wears the flag of Haiti in honor of his daughter's grandmother.  He's not Haitian, but he appreciates the culture.  

5.  He was born in 1991...when I was a junior in high school!!! 

Welcome to the World....

Every once in a while you get to witness a miracle which  reaffirms your faith and makes you believe that happy endings do exist!

This little "oomakutten" (kissable baby-some things just don't translate over!!) is exactly that!

Welcome to the world baby Isaac!! Congratulations Sunu & Aby!! Your little gift from God is too precious for words! can't wait to hold him and smother those cheeks with kisses!

Forties...Fetty Wap...& Fashion

A year since my last post...I'm clearly not very good at this anymore. But I figure I'll keep trying until it sticks and I'm back to writing again or I stop and officially give up!

When I originally wrote here, I was in my 20’s and 30’s and it’s funny to see how different and the same my life really is.  One thing that didn’t impact me at all in the past that does now is…fashion.  Not that I’m a fashionista or anything but I do love clothes and trends, and I find myself wondering if I’m crossing lines when it comes to age and fashion.  When you get older it's kind of hard to know what's appropriate and what's not...so you start questioning yourself...not just about clothes but everything!! You not only ask yourself WWJD but WWAMAD (what would a mature adult do?!?) like would a mature adult be a Fetty Wap fan? I don't know but I am one!!

All that being said I used to not care about fashion at all. I had my staples…black and gray slacks and cardigans in every color.  Let’s be honest, I still have cardigans in every color.  But now, I feel like I’m more conscious of trends. And once Sangita Patel stepped into my world and introduced me to bling...accessorizing became my cardio! 

So this morning I had to go get my blood drawn…another new fun thing I get to do regularly now that I’m old. Bleh.  The lady who sat in the waiting room with me wore gray jeans with gaping holes in each thigh.  I probably wouldn’t have batted a lash, but she was in her sixties.  I mean gray hair and matching gray jeans with gaping holes don’t really go…do they? 

Clearly she was trying to keep up with trends and not concerned about age appropriateness but I definitely don't want to be examined by some one twenty years younger than me in the same way.

So how do I avoid this sticky little situation? I really don't know yet. I figure the rule of thumb is as long as I stay out of the juniors section I should be ok!...for now!

I always feel like...somebody's watching me...

I love my dog.  She's my best friend.  But, her staring is getting out of hand.  I could be lying on the couch watching TV...and Mousse will be watching me!  I could be sleeping in bed, and wake up to find Mousse...in my face staring into my eyes!  I'm not sure what she wants.  She's not moving...just staring.  It's starting to get a little strange.

I'm on the computer and I turn to see this... 👀

What I wake up to 👀