Saturday morning, I planned out my entire day. I'd go get my new license plate, go shopping with the mother, come home and cook dinner for me and Mousse, and spend the rest of the evening working on wedding invitations. I only got as far as shopping with the mother before I was quickly reminded of how it only takes an instant to change life completely.

My cousin died on Saturday morning. He was only 30 years old. He leaves behind a wife, who has loved and adored him since they were 15, a little sister, who looked to him as not only her big brother...but a father-figure and best friend, a mother, who leaned on him as if he was her pillar of strength, and a father, who depended on him more than he probably cared to admit. And then there are the rest of us....his family and friends...who are left shocked and confused. Yes, he was sick...his kidneys were failing him...but, he was young and therefore seemed somewhat invincible. A few days prior to his death....he was talking to my cousin Benjamin about the wedding...making plans to travel to OKC to attend. It would have been the very first time that all of the 1st cousins were in the same room at the same time. But, for some reason ...that will never be clear to any of us...that moment will never be.

Of course, any time a death occurs, you have revelations....you feel the need to forgive and forget, love more, be gracious and kind, and make use of the time you have been given each day. After days and months pass, and the sting of pain subsides...I don't want to lose the clarity of this revelation. I want to remember to tell people that I love them...never go to bed angry...try to look past the hurt someone has caused in order to be forgiving...etc. I'll never have the opportunity to tell my cousin that although time and distance made us grow apart from being the childhood friends we once were...that I did love him...because he was my cousin and we were family.