A day in the Life of Radiation Therapy...

The past week has been really rough...They warned me that radiation just gets worse as time goes by.  I guess I didn't really believe them because I couldn't foresee how much worse it could get.  It's hard to explain how I feel...It used to be just swallowing pain, but now it's pain in general.  Sometimes I'll just sit around and catch myself groaning because my insides hurt.

For the past 4 days, I've been waking up and throwing up and I'm not even sure why.  I've been told that maybe it's just in my head and possibly I'm subconsciously convincing myself to do it, but I'm not.  Waking up at 6:30 am and throwing up isn't my idea of a good time.   I try to will myself to not feel nauseous, but I wake up with a fire ball in the pit of my stomach that just bubbles its' way up my throat.  Sorry if that's too descriptive.

Anyway, I then proceed to drag myself to radiation.  MD Anderson makes that process pretty easy...I get to valet my car, check in, and within minutes I'm on the radiation table.  The process is pretty painless.  I just lay there for twenty minutes or so...while this big arm rotates around me.  I typically use that time to pray or sing in my head...which is the only place I should be singing, by the way.  After radiation I sip on a Boost cocktail as I make my way back to my home away from home.

I immediately kick off my shoes and plummet face first back into my bed after taking my chemo pills. I typically wake up an hour later when BF calls me on her way to work...and then I hang up and go right back to sleep.  By 10 or 11, I'm trying to convince myself to get out of bed...I feel all sorts of burning in my stomach and chest because by then, I'm starving.  So, I drag myself to the kitchen for some cereal.  When I eat these days I try to sit perfectly straight and not lean back in my chair because for some reason, it makes things worse.  While I eat, I usually cough uncontrollably because I feel like my food is stuck and sometimes that causes me to heave. These days I just don't know what I can eat, so I just eat and deal with the pain.  Even water causes so much pain going down that it often makes me jolt.  I try to take smaller sips and drink luke-warm things, and sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't.

After I eat, I just feel uncomfortable inside...I can't really explain the feeling... it burns and hurts simultaneously.  By the time I'm done eating...I'm exhausted again.  After sleeping for a few more hours, I convince myself to go out....I window shop, sit out on the balcony and stare at palm tree leaves, or sit pool side with my book!  I usually classify breakfast as brunch and then just start thinking about what the heck I'm going to eat for dinner.  Thinking about that is exhausting...so I typically need another nap before dinner!  I usually wake up when I get phone calls from my mom, uncles and aunts or cousins...and they all remind me to eat...so I drag myself into the kitchen to rummage through my fridge for dinner.

If I don't have an visitors, that's my night...I shower and go back to bed where I usually watch a Malayalam movie and fall asleep!  I've never slept so much in my life...but I'm drained...and my insides are just so uncomfortable that sleeping seems to be the best way to deal with it. So that's a day in my life these days!  I'm going to need lots of prayers to get through this last week of therapy.  The doctors say that my insides will take two weeks post radiation to heal...so please keep those prayers coming!!

Me, my book, and my sweatpants...sitting poolside!

The Weekend in Review-Easter Sunday Edition

My weekends in Houston are dwindling.  It's a bitter sweet feeling.  I can't wait to be home and off treatment for six glorious weeks, but I'll miss Houston...my quiet little home away from home, my uncles & aunts, cousins, and all the kiddos.  Tomorrow, my 1 week countdown to finishing radiation begins.  It can't be over soon enough!!  My mom and Jeeves left Friday, so I'll be flying solo on this final week.  It was so great having my mom here this past week...it's always nice having a little extra TLC!!

An oldie but a goody...me & Jeeves sharing family secrets

A special shout out to Jeeves!...today's his THIRTIETH birthday!!  I'm glad he's back home with his crew celebrating his day!  It sure was nice of him to spend two weeks of his life driving me around and keeping me company!  Even though we live in the same city...we don't spend a lot of quality time together.  This is possibly because hanging out with his older cousin isn't his idea of a good time. So, I feel like I learned some things about him during this time....

1.  He's a really good sport.  He slept on a not-so-comfortable couch, woke up at 6:45 every morning (sometimes to the lovely sound of me barfing in the bathroom), sat through family visits with people who aren't even his family...all with out complaint.

2.  He's funny!!!  He doesn't talk a whole lot...but when he does, it's typically pretty hilarious!

3.  He has impeccable taste in cereal!...We shared many-a-bowls of cinnamon toast crunch and Lactaid...and no, neither of us are lactose intolerant.  We just both discovered we really like Lactaid!

4.  He has lots of random information about celebrities.  I think he studies Wikipedia in his spare time.

5.  He is pretty good at fashion advice.  I let him pick out a pair of sandals for me.  They're a pair of flashy gold ones...he said he's all about the "flash"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEEVES!!

Me & Jeeves at Wes's wedding!  I made him smile!

In other news, it's Easter weekend!  I had lots of visitors!!  Friday night, I didn't have time to be sad about my mom and Jeeves leaving...My cousins Mikey & Jess came to visit me with their sweet girls! 

Leah & the twins...Micah & Sarah.  Aren't they supa cute?

Saturday morning, the namesake and her kids, JP and Sophie came to dye Easter eggs...I failed to get a pic of the kids...but here are our amazing eggs.  

Clearly this was the first time we colored eggs!

Saturday afternoon, Wes & Denny came in from Dallas to spend Easter with me!  We went to church together this morning...and we just had really great quality time together!  

Me & Wes...When I see her, I realize how much I miss her!  Dallas, give me my Wes back!

Wes & Dennykins...I'm not a midget...she's wearing heels.  Ok, I am a midget...even without her heels.  Me and Denny are hair cut twins! ;)

Wes definitely knows me...the cute Easter basket she put together for me!  Replete with all my favorites...sparkly head bands (which  I will need in the future, a smelly good candle, Lindt chocolates, bright pink urban decay lip gloss, and other cute schtuff!

The message we received at church today was such a blessing.  I wanted to share a little of what I learned...A lot of times, when bad things happen, people tell you "God never gives you more than you can handle"  The pastor mentioned that phrase isn't biblical.  Bad things can happen...they will happen.  Psalms 23 says, "though I walk through the shadow of valley of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me."  In order for there to be a shadow...there must be light...and God is that light.  We will walk through dark times, but we will always have the light to guide us...we can walk through difficult times holding His nail-pierced hand.  This Easter has really been a special one for me.  I feel like I have a better understanding of Christ's sacrifice for us.  The past few weeks, I feel like God is trying to teach me about His love...not only to receive it but to share it.  Happy Easter, blogosphere!

Way Back Wednesday...

Jeeves and I spent the day escorting my Mom to visit my uncles' houses today.  While she was gabbing with them, we made ourselves comfortable and checked out their old picture albums.  I found a few golden oldies that I thought I'd share with the blogosphere....

Me & the Beenz...circa 1978  She looks like a typical 70's kid doesn't she?

My Aunt, Uncle (pre Benji), my bro, mom, me, my gramps, and my sister (who seemed to always have candy in her mouth)

Little me...

Little me..circa 1978...Oddly, I totally remember that heart necklace!  My mom said even back then I always wanted to wear jewelry...guess I was born with a passion to accessorize!

A little bit of this...A little bit of that...

Jeeves and I had a rather uneventful weekend.  I slept...a. lot.  Jeeves managed to get me out of the house on Sunday though...and we went out and about in search of the perfect bowtie.  My radiologist only wears bowties...and I wanted to get him one so I could give it to him on my last visit with him.   He's a bit of a quirky character...so I had to find one with just the right quirk to it.  I selected a polkadot one...go figure. After that mission was accomplished, Jeeves and I went pick up my mom from the airport.  The traffic was horrendous...and horrendous traffic makes Jeeves very angry.  I could basically see the steam coming out of his ears when suddenly I noticed his fingertips ever so gently dancing across the steering wheel.  I looked over at him and his head was swaying side to side jovially and he had a smile on his face.  His song was on...Rihanna "work work work work dirdridirdir work work work work work work"  Now I know that when I see Jeeves starting to get grumpy...I should immediately play his song.

In other news...two special people had birthdays!  First was my lil' spring baby...my niece Marissa.  It seems like just yesterday that she was a baby toddling around the house.  The sound of her little feet running up and down the hall always made me chuckle...especially when she was running around in stolen high heels at age two.  I remember coming home from work one day and finding her passed out in a laundry basket with nail polish all over her.  I loved dressing her up when she was a baby, teaching her how to tie her shoes, taking her trick or treating and throwing her birthday parties...and of course, lecturing her! In a blink of an eye she's grown...18...driving...and about to graduate high school!  She was the cutest baby girl and has grown into such a beautiful young woman!  It just happened way too fast!

Second birthday girl is my dear friend, Punu..A lot of my friends have moved out of OKC over the years...but, she's the one I happen to miss the most.  Maybe because she moved the furthest, and I never get to see her.  We went from spending every weekend together to seeing each other every couple of years.  It's tragic and I miss her dearly....especially on our birthdays, which we always used to spend together.  Happy Birthday, Punu...can't wait to see you soon!

So, today was an exciting day!  I got to hang out with my cancer buddy!  He just finished a round of chemo and was able to drive up to Houston for work.  He was kind enough to drop by and pick me up for today's treatment, and we got a chance to talk about our grueling experiences.  My buddy and his wife have been such an incredible blessing to me over the past  several months.  They have not only encouraged me to be strong, but they've also inspired me to be a better person.  I haven't met many people in this world who reach out to strangers to positively impact their lives.  I definitely have learned so much from them and can't wait to practice what I've learned as soon as this is all over.  For now, I'm so grateful that God has allowed our paths to cross...God is definitely working in both of our lives, and it has been exciting to see!

Last but not least, my girl Mousse has been having a total blast at the Palmers!  Sherry's been sending me the most insanely cute pictures that I know the blogosphere wants to see!

Prayer Requests:  Eating has becoming even more painful these days...The best way I can describe the pain is that it feels like my food is attached to a match...that's lit...it burns quite badly and nowadays it doesn't matter if it's bland or not or if it's solid or liquid.  I have to drink liquids a 1/4 of a sip at a time because I feel so much pressure if I drink more than that.  And when you're thirsty...it's really hard not to gulp.  Also, when you pray for me...please don't forget to pray for my cancer buddy, H-towns father-in-law, and my little nephew, Daniel!  

Moussey's New Home...

Since my mom will be flying into town on Sunday....I had to find Mousse a temporary new home.  She's not very fond of other dogs...not that she's aggressive with them, she just doesn't like to be around them...at. all.  So, I needed to find someone who doesn't have a dog that would take her for a few days.  Most people who don't already have a dog...aren't looking to dog sit either.  But one day, my high school bestie, Sherry mentioned that her kids wanted to get a dog...a big dog...and I told her I had a great idea!  How about foster one first?  She was more than happy to oblige!

So today, she picked up Moussey from my mom's house.  She sent me lots of pictures and gave me updates on how well Mousse was doing with them.  I was totes worried because Mousse hasn't been to Sherry's...and I didn't know how she would react being in a new environment away from her people.  But apparently she's doing just fine!  The kids took her on two walks and have been smothering her with love and attention.  Hopefully she'll want to come back!!

So here's a few pics from Day 1 with the Palmers!

Look how happy they all look!!  

The kids were eager to get her home and take her for a walk!  I'm sure she loved every second of it!

Pooped from all the excitement and chilling with her  new friend, Abby!

Me & Jeeves...

WORD OF THE DAY:
Biriyani-an Indian dish made with highly seasoned rice.

****And here ends the Oxford dictionary's word of the day****
These words are not very impressive.  I'll have to research a better word of the day source.

Today was the first day that it's been just me and Jeeves...the dynamic duo.  He took me to my radiation appointment this morning...and as usual, I came home and crashed because it always wipes me out.  I woke up to a spotless kitchen!  Jeeves cleaned up, did dishes, and took out the trash for me!  I think I could get used to this butler service!! Later today, I had a special visitor come in from Dallas to see me.  Ruby was the first person who ever entrusted me to help her plan her wedding!  It was so nice to see her after so many years!  I think I may have mentioned this before...but in case the blogosphere forgot...I have the BEST friends...and family!!

Afterwards, Jeeves and I went out for lunch, strolled through some stores, and took the scenic route home. Then we watched the Thunder annihilate the Celtics!

Swoooosh!

Speaking of bitmoji's...not only am I obsessed with them...I've gotten quite a few people into the craze!... If you haven't downloaded the app...do it...today!!!  And then text me! I love seeing them!

Jeeves texted me this pic of a Robert Kardashian Sr.  look alike shopping in the men's section of Marshall's.  I think Jeeves is way too into People versus OJ!

Prayer request:  I had managed to stay funk free for so long, but I've seemed to contract the funk from somewhere.  I just sneezed ten times in a row, and I can't seem to stop coughing.  I'm not sure what I can take at this point, so I am just using Vicks Vapor Rub...and I smell pretty fabulous.

Laughter is the best medicine...

WORD OF THE DAY:
Floatel-(n) floating hotel

"Always laugh when you can. It is a cheap medicine."- Lord Byron
If laughter is indeed the best medicine...then I got a good enough dosage to last me through the next 3 weeks of radiation.  BF was here on my good energy days and we had a great time together!  We got to visit friends, watched a few malayalam movies, jog...err walk briskly down memory lane, and ended the visit watching the Bachelor finale!!  We both love a good love story!...  I may have made her a little crazy with my Bitmoji's but, I think deep down inside she thinks they're cute.  Today, I started dragging a bit since I started treatment again on Monday...but, she left today...so I'm glad I got to spend time with her while I felt good.  Now my poor cousin Jason will have to deal with tired Sue.  He came to town last night, and is offering up his butler services for the next two weeks.  I think I just thought of a new nickname for him...Jeeves.

I found a picture of BF...it's one of my favorites....an oldie, but a goodie...NYC circa 2005ish..  I think it depicts our friendship perfectly...

I've heard of ugly cry face...but this would be an example of ugly laugh face.  We were seriously cracking each other up...and clearly, Fin didn't know why....I don't even think we knew why.  All I remember is laughing so hard I might have peed a little.

Weekend in Review...

WORD OF THE DAY:

Juba- a dance originating among plantation slaves in the southern US, featuring rhythmic handclapping and slapping of the thighs (I THOUGHT IT WAS AN INDIAN SHIRT...GO FIGURE)

The past week and this weekend has gone by in a flash...Although I felt crappy last week, CCL was here and she was such a great help.  She drove me to my appointments (although I had to give her directions the entire time which was shocking to both of us), kept me company, made sure I had lots of pho...and then, just as she left,  my frenemy, Merly, and my lil dude, Jude came into town to keep me company over the weekend!....and as an added bonus BF came Saturday night...and will be here till Tuesday!  It's been such a treat to have everyone here with me...I've laughed a lot!!...maybe a lil' too much!

We decided to take my lil dude, Jude to the Houston zoo Saturday since it's literally right next door.  Since I've been pretty tired as of late, I asked my frenemy, Shines to get me a wheelchair.  Because he insists on laughing at my expense, he decided not to get me a wheelchair...but instead, got me a motorized scooter!!  I'm not good with anything motorized...so it took me quite a while to figure out how to maneuver it...i had a few near misses with innocent pedestrians.  Shines & Merly especially loved it when I had to reverse and the stupid scooter beeped.  I think me on the scooter was much more entertaining to them than any animal at the zoo.  Without further adieu...pics from he weekend!

Taking Judey to the zoo might not have been our brightest idea...he didn't just want to see the animals...he wanted to join them...in their cages!!  He tried to climb in a few!!

Jude paying homage to a statue of his father.

So good to have a lil' piece of okc in houston this weekend!

A few of my faves...

So my frenemy introduced me to Bitmoji's and created one for me...I'm a little obsessed with these things!  I think it's hilarious how much it looks like me!  And if you're someone who texts me on the regular...I'm sorry in advance...cuz you'll be seeing this lil sue bitmoji popping up quite a bit!!

Bible Journaling...

WORD OF THE DAY:
Vestimentary (adj):  relating to clothes or dress

It's been a challenging day...I met with a nutrionist to talk about my food options.  Basically, the eating issue doesn't seem like it has much hope of getting better as long as radiation continues to fry my insides.  I'm trying some new meds and a new diet to see if either will help.  I'm supposed to be on a bland diet...this means no tomato, no citrus, no spice...in other words, no flavor.  I wish I knew that yesterday before I hate pho with a tbs of siracha sauce!! Eating a meal has never been more stressful....I'm sure as the days go by, I'll get a hang of this and find plenty of things to eat....It's just a learning process.

In other news,  I was on pinterest the other day and stumbled upon bible journaling.  For those of you who never heard of it...it's basically a way to write your favorite scriptures in your bible in a very creative and artistic way.  It's perfect for doodlers and artists!  I'm not either of those things, but I was intrigued by it...So I decided to order one and try my hand at it.  I thought it would be a good way to spend more time reading and thinking about scripture.  If you're an artist...(ahem...Jocelin)...it's definitely something you should look into for yourself!  I got my bible today!

My first entry!

Since I've been in Houston, I've been hanging out with my uncle more.  He's always challenging me with new vocabulary words...so In honor of my uncle who loves words and learning new ones...especially from the Oxford dictionary...I decided to bring back the word of the day. (We'll see how long I can keep it going)

Ollie:  (n) (In skateboarding and snowboarding) a jump performed without the aid of a takeoff ramp, executed by pushing the back foot down on the tail of the board, bringing the board off the ground.

I managed to eat two meals today...that's an improvement from yesterday.  CCL is here and sets hourly goals for me..."Finish that water by 6."  "Eat a popsicle by 7"  I never meet her goals.  In fact, she just extended one for me..."Finish that drink by the time you go to sleep."  I discovered Vita Coco with pineapple.  It's delicious and I would gulp it...if I could gulp..but at this rate, I can barely sip.  I met with my radiologist today and he said the pain and discomfort I feel is definitely not the tumor but the radiation...unfortunately it can't just kill bad cells but it kills good cells as well.   So, the mucous lining in my stomach and esophagus is gone and my stomach acids are all running amuck.  He prescribed me a new medication that might help with the stomach acid, but I'll still have problems swallowing since the lining has been damaged. Tomorrow, I meet with the surgeon and a nutritionist.  Hopefully, they can give me some tips on how to maintain weight and get through this rough patch.  Have I mentioned that radiation sucks?  Sometimes it seems like I have such a long way to go before this is all over.  Battling cancer is hard enough...but battling it when you're hungry and tired is especially difficult.

Despite all this cancer crap, CCL and I still had a pretty good day.  We made some head wraps...and created a bracelet with the extra t-shirt material.  Correction....CCL created a bracelet.  You know I don't feel good when I let someone else take the reigns on a craft project.

CCL's creative creation

In other news my lil' dude Jude and his parents are coming to see me in T minus 2 days!  I'm excited to have this quirky lil monster around...maybe he'll keep my mind off of my woes!!

Can we say like father like son?

Not rodeo time for me...

The past two days have been really tough on me. Radiation sucks. It is draining and beyond nauseating. A few posts ago I said I can't feel my cancer. I spoke too soon. Thanks to radiation, I now feel my tumor...and it's very pissed. I can barely eat and when I do, I struggle keeping it down. I felt horrible today...and after throwing up twice and barely being able to sit up...I realized there was no way that I could muster up enough strength to sit through a Pit Bull concert. I was devastated!! *A* sent me videos...it wasn't the same. So I guess me and my tumor have something in common today....we're both pissed. I hate cancer...hate the unpredictability...hate that it made me miss my oppurtunity to see Mr. Worldwide!!

The only thing that could make me feel better is if Pit Bull and Feddy Wap show up at my door step tomorrow with the Remy Boyz to do a live concert!  

It's time for the rodeo!...

Those of you who know me personally definitely know that I'm not the best with directions.  I've been late to work before because I got lost in my neighborhood...THAT'S how bad I am with directions.  I could tell you story after countless story, but I'll save myself from the embarrassment.  All that being said...I realized this weekend that I'm actually figuring out my way around Houston!  This afternoon *A* took me grocery shopping...and as we were trying to get home, Waze was trying to make us turn the wrong way.  I told *A* not to listen to it because I could get us home.  Sure enough...I did.  I was so proud of myself!!!  I didn't wait for her to give me a pat on the back...I went ahead and gave myself one!  It was a pretty exciting moment.  I guess I've finally stopped kicking and screaming about being stuck in this city, relented to the fact, and now I'm making an effort to figure things out.

It's been a quiet weekend, Saturday I had lots of family visits, but I didn't leave the house at all. One question that everyone asks me is, "What do you want to eat?" The question has become quite a stressful one.  There's not much I can eat these days without struggling to swallow. Simple things that you'd assume would be easy to swallow...like yogurt...has become painful.  I have to take breaks or give up all together.  Sadly, most of the time I'm totally starving...but either feel too scared to eat and attempt swallowing or too low on energy to even try.  Eating...in general...has just become really complicated...gone are the days when it used to be fun! When you lose the ability to do something so basic, you begin to realize exactly how much you take for granted.  

In other news...it's Rodeo time here in Houston!  Which means a few things...the traffic is pretty crazy and there are great concerts in town.  Now, one would assume that only country artists are performing at the rodeo...(which I wouldn't mind because I do love me some country music too!)...however...someone awesome and amazing is going to be here Tuesday night...and *A* got us tickets!!!!!!  Now, I know a rodeo is probably not the most germ free place for a chemo patient to be...so if you're reading this and know my mom...you better not tell her!...But, this artist is one of my all time favorites, and he's going to be in Houston Tuesday night...and I'm going to be in Houston Tuesday night...and I promise to wear a mask and not touch anything or anyone...but I have to go to see him perform...YOLO (you only live once!!)  Can you guess who it is??  If you guessed Feddy Wap...that was a great guess!  And he is actually coming to the House of Blues here in Houston on Wednesday night!!!...But, alas!...Im a cancer patient and can't handle two concerts in one week.  I'm not even sure I can handle one concert in one week...but for this artist...I'm willing to try....If you're out of guesses...here's a clue......

For those of you who couldn't view the video or understand what the heck the bald lunatic (me) is saying....I'm going to see none other than Mr. Worldwide...Pitbull!!!...and you better believe that I'm SO excited!!!

Character Profile- The Frenemy- Birthday Edition

NAME: Shines

NICKNAMES:  SFG (Shines For God), my frenemy

HOW WE MET:  I think it was 1999...NJ pentecostal conference...we were in the same car in route to  the hotel.  He was popping off his mouth about something.  I was wondering who is this kid with this larger than life/extremely annoying personality?  I asked him where he was from.  He said, "Oklahoma."  I was like "Whaaaaat?!?  I'm from Oklahoma!"  The rest is history!!

HOW WE BECAME FRENEMIES:  Although we met that fateful day in 1999, our paths didn't cross again until his brother and my BF decided they wanted to get married!!  BF has somehow conveniently arranged it to where I am friends with her entire family....her parents and sister, her cousins, uncles and aunts, and now...her inlaws!  Shines and I were paired to walk together at BF &Dains wedding...That day he became BF's new little brother...and mine!!!  The one I never asked or signed up for...Next thing I know, he was asking me to borrow $50 so he could go to prom!!  Over the years, he continued to be a thorn in my posterior...and then one day he introduced me to the lady love in his life...Merly, and asked me to be their wedding planner!  Little did I know that Merly and Shines would be more than my clients... but they'd spend their entire first year of marriage in my 1 bedroom apartment!  Merly has also become the referee of the monthly spats that Shines and I seem to get into!  

FAVORITE MEMORIES:  Hands down...the memory that will go in the history books will definitely be the Christmas Eve blizzard when Shines and I were stuck in the snow for nearly 12 hours.  How we did not kill each other that day...I will never know. 

He also helped Sheba throw my 40th birthday party...and professed to everyone that day...that even though we fight all the time...I'm his sister!

The time we went walking at the local high school, walked 4 laps around the track...walked all the way back to my house, only to realize, I dropped my key somewhere along the way.  We had to re walk all the way back to the high school, around the track...finally found the keys laying on the ground on the middle of the track!  He nearly pummeled me that day!

Shines and Wins (his little brother) fart initiated me into the family.  Ehh...that's my LEAST favorite memory!!

FUNNIEST MEMORY:  When I first found out I had a mass in my stomach...I called Merly to talk to her about it since I had been complaining about swallowing for weeks.  She, in turn, told Shines.  After careful consideration...he told her to tell me not to worry....the mass was probably just a donut hole that got stuck!  I can never look at donut holes or say donut holes with out cracking up now.

MOST ANNOYING MEMORY:  Shines and I went to go tour the church where he and Merly were going to get married...and the receptionist said, "You and your mother are free to go look around."  Clearly...he'll never let that one go.

BIGGEST FAVOR:  He got me my job at Paycom!!  I wondered why he didn't talk to me on my first day at work though.  He said, "Sue, I'm the quarter back.  You're the band nerd."  Now you know why we're frenemies?

BEST QUALITY:  I will say...out of all my friends, Shines is the ONLY one that I fight with...I mean, knock down drag out yelling at each other fights.  But, we have always been able to turn things around...even though it sometimes takes months.  LOL.   Underneath all that...err, muscle...there is a very big heart.  He cares way more than he should and does anything to help...not just me...but all his friends...and especially me.  He always tells me he's going to raise his baby boy, Jude to grow up to cut his grandparents grass for them...and Sueny's!!  During this time that I've been sick...he's gone above and beyond the call of duty...making sure I have groceries stocked, eating leftovers in my fridge before they go bad, fixing things around my house, making sure I'm entertained with malayalam movies, google chrome, and an extra TV for my room, and always trying to give me financial advice. He's been more than an amazing friend...but an amazing brother!  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FRENEMY!!

Thinking of H-town in H-town...

Tonight's post is a humble plea to the blogosphere...a prayer request for someone who is also battling against cancer.  In the past few months I have talked so much about my angel friend, H-town...but I haven't mentioned that two months after I was diagnosed with cancer, her father in-law was diagnosed with leukemia.  While I was in Okc...H-town did an amazing job of being a supportive daughter in-law and friend as she did her best to help both of us.  She would keep me company at my house...making sure I took my meds, ate, and that my house was organized to HER standards ...while simultaneously making appam and chicken curry to take to her father in-law the next morning at the hospital.  (by the way, Htown has the softest appams) That's just how she is...she never just waits for you to ask for help...she just helps before you even know you need it! I often told her to stop coming over and trying to help me....I felt like she was totally immersed in cancer and I wanted her to take a break from one of us...and surely, I would be the logical choice to take a break from.  But...she never has!

 Her father-in-law has been in the hospital since January....I can't imagine how it feels to be in the hospital for so long.  Here I am complaining about being in a different city, yet I'm free to go where I want and see my family.  Uncle and the entire family has endured so much in the past three months.  Right now, he's very sick and struggling.  I have been on both sides of cancer now...I know it sounds weird, but I think it's much harder to watch someone go through cancer than it is to actually have it.  Even as nauseating and exhausting as it is...I still think it was much harder to watch my dad suffer on a daily basis...because I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to help him. That being said, please keep both uncle and the family in your prayers.  They need a miracle...and they need strength to get through this very difficult time.

God has truly blessed me by bringing H-town into my life so unexpectedly and at the perfect time...We had just met three months prior to me being diagnosed with cancer...and she stepped in like someone who had known me for years. I wish I could be there for her and her husband in their time of need.. as she has so graciously been here for me time and time again.  The only way I can support her now is through prayers...and ask that you all would do the same!

H-town, I'm pretty positive you're way too busy to read my blog right now....and when you do, you'll probably kill me for talking about your appams!!!  I miss you, gal!...Can't wait to come home and sit around my dining table with you and chocolate chip...just like the good ol' days!!

New treatment, new problems, new hobby, and a new friend....

When the radiologist first described radiation therapy to me, he said that the side effects would probably commence after the first two weeks.  So when it hit an hour after my first treatment, I was totally caught off guard.  I felt waves of nausea coming over me, but I had a few hours wait until my next appointment. I decided to take a nap in one of the waiting areas, but the need to throw up was just too intense. Luckily, my next appointment was with the radiologist, so I asked  him if it was odd that I was having nausea already.  He said that 10% of patients experience the side effects immediately.  Why can't I be among the small percentage of people who win the lottery instead??

So to combat nausea, I've been consistently taking nausea meds every 8 hours....which in turn, makes me very very sleepy.  In fact, after today's treatment, I had to take a break while walking through the hospital back to my car.  I was just way too tired.  I'm not too sure what side effects the chemo pill is causing because all I can feel right now is radiation.  My tumor seems to be pretty pissed off.  It's ulcerated and I can feel heat radiating off of it.  I try to sooth it by eating yogurt and lime sherbet (my favorite ice-cream)  but it is not accepting these peace offerings.   Swallowing has become even more challenging...everything I eat seems to travel down my throat, to my esophagus...then it meets my angry tumor and is too scared to travel past it...so my food tries to come back up my esophagus and throat.  It's going to be a challenging five weeks.  Gone are the days of spending weekends running around with my peeps exploring Houston.  It's been fun while it lasted.

I did pick up a fun hobby during my stay here...I've been convincing my cousins to shop more...since I can't!!!  All my "why are your jeans so baggy?" and "why do you dress like your homeless?" has paid off!  The name sake actually let me pull a few looks for her today!  I picked ten outfits from pinterest that I thought would suit her...she picked two out of those ten...and then I  online shopped and found pretty similar pieces to create those looks.  One minute I was wallowing in misery on my couch...and the next minute I was feverishly trying to find her the perfect pair of skinny jeans!  When the outfits come in and they look fabulous on her, I'm pretty convinced I will be her new stylist!!  

Last but not least....My dear friend, Sheba sent me a very special surprise today....A larger than life teddy bear that I can practice hugs on!  I've named him, "Mr. Big"...two reasons...1.  he's huge.  2. Mr. Big is the name of Carrie Bradshaw's boyfriend on SATC!!! Now without further ado....INTRODUCING.....MR. BIG!!!

Yes, I always wear pink lipstick when I'm lounging around with my larger- than- life -sized teddy bear watching Malayalam movies!!!