Thursday, March 03, 2005

Someone Better Fess Up...

I had two black sweaters. I swear, I interchangeably wore these sweaters daily, either as a part of my ensemble or just as something to keep me warm. I had a knee length and a waist length one. Oddly enough, both of them are no where to be found. While expressing my remorse to Sonia, she said that Sunu had the knee length sweater. "You must have left it here," she explained. Hmm, perhaps...possibly...although, I scarcely think I would let THAT happen. But what other explanation is there? So, I questioned Sunu. "It's at the cleaners," she replies as if that's an understandable, appropriate answer. Cleaners?! Why would you take a grungy black sweater to the cleaners? Why wouldn't you just throw it in the washer? These were the questions that floated in my mind. But, I believed her. Sunu is meticulous about ironing/cleaning her clothes. So...ok...it's at the cleaners...maybe. But, it's been friggin weeks, and she still hasn't given me my beloved signature sweater back. And what's more perplexing is the fact that my waist length is now missing too! Coincidence? I think not! For years my friends have been trying to pry those sweaters from the grips of my little hands. I think this is a conspiracy! I demand to know the truth! I know Sonia can't be guilty of this haneous crime because she herself owns a black sweater and knows the true value of it as I do. ( Is it any wonder why we're such good friends?!) I think this is a plot to remove my beloved black sweaters from my wardrobe!!!

This means I have to find a new signature "thing." Like, something that you look at and think..."that's simply so Sue." For instance, my friend Sangita is a connoisseur of fine things, but her signature "thing" is accessories...big, bulky rings, elaborate bead bracelets in all shades, and dangling earrings that are always the perfect finishing touch to her couture. Basically, anything furry, feathery, flashy, pink, and blingy is her style. Everytime I see jewelry/purses like that at a kiosk or store, I immediately think "that is soo Sang!"

A few months ago, I tried to develop a new "thing." I decided to add bangles to my couture. I thought it would give me an Indian flare while promoting good fashion. I went to the Indian store in search of my new "thing." That turned out to be a depressing nightmare. Not one of the friggin bangles fit my wrist! Now, this perplexed me. My wrists ARE NOT FAT! Ok, maybe my hands are a bit widish since I've been popping my knuckles since I was 5...maybe that's it. I decided no more bangles for me...EVER. Well, not until I can find some that I can wear with out smothering my hand in Criscoe first. So, bangles can't be my new thing. Then I thought about pink nail polish, but pink doesn't go with everything, and I'm a nail biter, so I might just die of stomach poisoning because of my new "thing." We wouldn't want that.

So, I'm open for suggestions, but what I'd REALLY like are my sweaters back. I miss them and all of my gray slacks miss them too. =( So if you know or have information regarding the whereabouts of two grungy black sweaters, please comment in the information box listed below. With your help, this crime might be solved and the criminals brought to justice.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ahhh yeah girl, man, someone is trippin' b....why cant people fess up when they jak yo ends....Its like my man Snookie, he straight jakd' my gloves, boosted them son, I was like yo Snook ya gonna give me my gloves back, and he's all , What gloves B? AND HE WAS WEARIN' THE GLOVES SON!!! It just goes to show honesty and Crack dont mix girl, holla at me if ya need some skullz busted, late in the gate .... BOo

Anonymous said...

wow there are ghetto cowboys in Oklahoma? :)

Sue-- You are hilarious. I was really laughing out loud when I read that!
First of all.. Please don't pop your knuckles. I heard you can get arthritis if you do that.
Second of all Make a decision to grow your nails long, and put those nasty tasting nailpolish on. May be you won't bite your nails then?

I hope you find your black sweaters. If not then think of it as a SIGN! =)

Scorps1027 said...

I LOVE this blog. The writing and underlying seriousness had me laughing in stitches the entire time. Well Sue all I can say is often times good writing comes out of pain. Maybe the loss of your beloved sweaters helped contribute towards something greater, like an incredibly well-written, funny blog piece.
The lesson I've learned this week with the whole engagement flower fiasco is the word COMPROMISE. If the thief who stole Sue's sweaters is reading this, I think you should return atleast ONE sweater as a reward for such a good blog and to soothe her pain. I mean hte loss of one favorite thing is hard enough. The loss of two can drive a woman over the edge. Keep this in mind.

happy roy said...

you're so funny! i had a a few black sweaters that were purely 'work' sweaters...i'd keep them on my seat so whenever it was -40 at work (which was nearly daily) i could throw it over my clothes, making it much more convenient for me than wearing a sweater in humid, sweaty nyc summers. my coworkers HATED my sweaters...truthfully, i did too, but they were just for work! i still wear them out of comfort but i've taken the hint after people made numerous attempts to dispose of them when i wasn't looking. =)