I was talking to a friend last night, who recently moved to a new place. She told me that she enjoyed talking to me because our conversation was real and genuine...and I completely agreed. I've known her since I was a kid, so there's a sense of familiarity. No matter how much time has lapsed since our last conversation, we still carry on as if it was just yesterday. It was then that I realized how hard those kind of friends are to find.
Perhaps this feeling has stemmed from my BF moving away. It just seems as if I don't have very many friends anymore. I don't know about all of you, but as a single chick...I find that most of my friends are married. I think I've mentioned before that I hate calling married people. I assume that they have better things to do than listen to my rants. So this doesn't leave me with a large supply of non-married friends. Not to knock anyone, but most single girls my age are often not all together normal. I can't blame them...infact, I often question my own normalcy. It's hard to be normal and single after the age of 30 because you've spent at least 6 years listening to your parents and every other adult who is within a 10,000 mile radius gripe about your singleness. It doesn't matter that you graduated college magna cum laude, landed a 3 figure income, and own a better car than half the guys you know (none of which I have done)...suddenly you feel as if you're less of a person. Suddenly it seems as if you stick out when u're with your married friends...like a white head on the nose of a blemish-free face. You start getting desperate...what's worse is your start ACTING desperate. You date creeps who aren't worth your time...or you chase creeps who you don't even like...just to be "TRYING" to find a man. And when the guy turns you down, you fling yourself into a pit of depression...You throw yourself a pity party and invite all your other desperately-seeking single gal pals to join you. You don't stop to think about the fact that he was a low life loser, who u really didn't like anyway!! It's sad really...and overall it affects you mentally!!
This is the sole reason why I don't have a lot of single gal pals my age. They seem to be immersed in this kind of drama and any phone conversation results in a 6.5 hour gripe fest about the losers that broke their hearts. After which, I feel like crap...for a variety of different reasons. But mainly because I wasted 6.5 hours of my life, which I can never get back, listening to 100% pure, unadulterated drama.
I'm not saying I'm not guilty of having these dramatic moments...of singing alone in my room "it's my pity party and I'll cry if I want to...of scrolling through my phonebook to see who'd be free to hear me whine. Trust me...I've had those moments...but my life isn't consumed by them. Occasionally..I like to think about things OTHER than hooking up...I like to talk about things OTHER than all the plethura of scrotumless creeps I've met. Sometimes, it's just nice to call up a friend, talk about the old days,gossip about a slutty mutual friend, gripe about jobs, and discuss important things that impact our lives...like reality TV.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
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4 comments:
What exactly is a 3 figure salary?
i meant 6...sheesh..everyone's a critic!
aye ve! i hear what ur saying suevee. i feel the way you feel now sometimes. but when i get married, you better still talk to me on IM!
i defly understnad where you are coming from. it's hard existence out there. try to remember what you have accomplished and be proud of that stuff. everything else will fall into place eventually. p.s. if it helps, that fact you are a published author has made you my personal hero, married or not!:)
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