Sometimes you open your mouth and ugliness spews out...and you know in your heart of hearts that you're being cold and mean, but at that moment...you don't care...you just want to wound someone because you feel wounded. But then it hits you...a minute...an hour...a day...a week later...and remorse fills you heart and mind...but there's nothing you can do...because that moment has elapsed and the damage has been done. You mumble the word "sorry," but it hardly seems powerful enough to heal the wound you inflicted or ease your guilt.
I've been a very tempermental bride-to-be...which I hear is common...but that doesn't make it excusable. Matt's dad had been in the hospital for nearly a month. I know Matt has had his plate full with helping care for dad and getting ready for his move to the U.S. I can't imagine that it'd be easy to pack up your entire life and move to another country...but that didn't stop me from giving him grief about needing to know the exact date and time of his arrival. I'd been on his case all week...It seems that my anger level rose every time someone asked me the infamous question..."Soooo...when's Matt getting here?" I heard the question at least 15 times a day...AT THE MINIMUM. The more I was asked and the more I mumbled a feeble reply of "sometime this month"...the more angry I got.
So, when I heard Matt's voice on my voice mail in the evening tell me that his dad passed away...I felt like total pond scum. Here I was being so demanding and adding stress to a man who was already enduring much more stress than I could probably handle. He sounded tired and defeated....For the past month, he was fighting to help keep his dad alive...and he lost the battle. Please keep Matt and his family in your prayers...Sometimes life seems so out of control...But, I know that even now, God has everything in control. As much as I know that Matt wanted to see his dad healthy before he left India....I know he would be completely crushed if he left, and then he was to die shortly after, leaving Matt unable to return home. I'm grateful that his dad nknew that his son was going to get married...and that I was able to meet him and spend a bit of time with him.
I look forward to September 17th when Matt and I will be on a sunny beach in Miami...and Matt will finally be able to relax
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
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11 comments:
:(
Will keep him in my prayers.
sorry to hear abt your father in law. hope matt, you and the family is holding up well.
I’m sorry for Matt’s loss of his father however, I feel that you are still being very inconsiderate. How can you even think about your honeymoon when Matt’s father just passed away???
because...i'm thinking about when my fiance can be able to relax and be stress free for a change...i didn't realize it was inconsiderate to want that for him.
Thoughts and prayers for matt and all of you during this difficult time, poo. I hope matt can take a little comfort knowing that his dad doesn't have to suffer anymore and is at peace now.
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you were able to meet him get his blessings. It is probably a huge emotional blow to your hubby to be - you are being called upon in your first challenge as his s.o. to provide him comfort, solace and help reinforce his faith in God during these difficult times. May God bless your family & your nuptials.
hey sue- so sorry to hear about the loss of matt's father. it is a blessing that you will soon be able to offer him comfort and strength. definitely keeping you guys in my praters.
my thoughts and prayers are with matt and his family right now, im sure it's such a hard thing to deal with .... but like you said, sue, im glad that he got to see him before he came here ... i know it'd be ten times harder to leave and not get a chance to see him again afterwards. matt, you're in all of our prayers.
Sue,
I am sooo sorry to hear that.. please give Matt our condolensces. I hope that he finds peace in knowing that his dad is not suffering anymore. We will keep you guys in our prayers.
i hope you and matt are doign better, suevee! i think it's wonderful that you are thinking about a time where matt can finally relax. the past few months have been stressful for you both, you guys deserve all teh happiness in the world!
i'm soooo sorry to hear that Suey!!! I'm praying for you.
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