Monday, April 04, 2005

From the Mouth of a Jackass...

I had a long chat with my flogfriends the other day, who suggested that perhaps I need to "put myself out there" when it comes to finding a man. After much consideration, I realize I whine a lot more about not being married...and I do a lot less to rectify the situation. Sure, my bro has me on every website known to man...but I hardly ever respond to anyone who writes to me. And, I'm not exactly hitting the single's scene to meet anyone either.

So, I decided to change my ways. Ok, so I've met a few rotton-to-the-core apples..but that doesn't mean the whole crop is bad, right?? Last night, I decided to respond to one of the guys who emailed me. He is looking for a "creative person"...i figure, i fit that bill.

So, I wrote him...Below would be his response:
Its nice to hear from you. And thanks for telling me a bit about yourself. After you told me you are published writer, I did a google search on your name and visited your website. Kinda breezed thru the website since I'm at work now and on my lunch break. I liked your poems they are nice. I haven't had a chance to look at the short stories. I also read the synopsis of your novel. I'd like to talk to you more about that. I guess I've always been a bit puzzled about why Indians who grow up in the US (especially women) find themselves to be so torn in 2 different directions, etc...I wonder if a lot of this is not really self-inflicted and sort of blowing things out of proportion? I dunno...I don't want to judge too harshly. But it just seems to me that a lot of people in this world have it so much worse. They have to deal with hunger, disease, death, poverty, the kind of problems that we in America can't even fathom. Go to India and you will see little 2 and 3 year olds naked and begging on the streets. Growing up in America is pretty nice in comparison. Yes, we all have difficult parents and sometimes they're expectations are not in line with how we want to live our lives. And its hard to deal with that now and then. But it seems like there is an entire movement devoted to books and movies about how hard it is to be Indian growing up in the west. Is it really THAT bad? :) Again, I'm trying to understand and not judge. It would be nice to talk to you about it since you've written a book on this and perhaps you can me look at this from a different prospective.

Excuse me?? What kind of argumentative response is this?!? I've already realized he's a jack ass, but I thought I'd educate him a bit...

As for growing up Indian in America....yes, there are worse things in the world. Hunger and poverty definitely take precedence over my struggles. But never once did I try to compare the two problems. That would be like comparing apples to oranges. Everyone has problems in this world...just because mine aren't as sever as being homeless and hungry..it doesn't mean that it's not a problem...or that I and others should not voice our opinions on the matter. Being happy in life means more than having all the food you can eat and enough money to keep you alive. It's hard to enjoy the great things America has to offer while listening to your parents harp endlessly about things like marriage and meeting the "indian standard."

His dumb response:

I think that growing up in America for Indians is not any different from the experience of Europeans who came here before us as immigrants. They too had to deal with these same issues of growing up in a country/culture different from the one their parents came from. But there were not numerous books and movies devoted to how hard it was to be a first generation Italian American or Irish American as much as you see with the Indian-American experience. hats because in lot of those cases, people had to work on railroads and minefields to support their families. In same cases teenage boys and girls were out working to put food on the table to support their families. Indian kids who grow up here have access to the best education systems in the world..most of them grow up to be doctors, lawyers, engineers, writers, etc...It can't all be that bad. If your mom is driving you crazy about getting married then move away from home...live on your own. Do you own thing, find yourself, find what works for you, and be happy. I'm not trying to trivialize the problem. But I also don't think its worthy of the attention it has garnered. There is obviously a market that is being milked for commerical reasons.


Can you guys believe this?!?! Ugh, I want to hide back in my no-meeting-men shell!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

You both are misunderstanding each other.

suitablegirl said...

i can kind of understand why "anon" wrote what they did, but i totally feel sue on the frustration-- he was invalidating her feelings, her past...her very livelihood, so to speak, since she worked hard to create something based on the conflict that the gentleman was questioning/over-examining. sigh. better luck next email?

Scorps1027 said...

misunderstanding MY ASS. like i said suee, cut the cord. if you need some sharp scissors, lemme know girlfriend!! oh btw, one jackass should not stop you from still 'putting yourself out there!"

Anonymous said...

i don't know. i think the "misunderstanding" is valid, since i don't think the guy was trying to hurt her though he was clueless. it's easier to see that from the outside though, and suitablegirl is right, it's easy to see how sue felt invalidated.

happy roy said...

i agree with scorps -- don't let a few bad experiences turn you off. there is a GREAT guy out there just waiting to meet you and so far, you guys keep missing each other. it's sad to contemplate.

i also agree w/ sg though -- i don't agree w/ the dude's feelings but he obviously doesn't understand what it's like to grow up as you did and didn't know how to express himself any better. however, that's no reason to invalidate your feelings.

Anonymous said...

Sue.. I don't think he meant to hurt you. He just told you his opinion. Don't let it bother you..

Move on.. Next guy =)