Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Thank God for Miracles...

For weeks now, my heart has been really heavy about something...someone, actually. It's one of those situations when there's someone close to your heart and they disappear with out any rhyme or reason...but this time there was a reason, just not a valid one. It's happened to me on more than one occasion. It feels like someone knocked you in the gut...and stole your breath...because that's just how un-expected it was...how opposite of their character it was. But then you wonder...what is their character? Did I ever know them at all?

I thought about the situation daily...I don't think I voiced the severity of my remorse to anyone. Talking about it meant admitting that it actually happened. That once again, Sue let down her guard...the guard she worked hard to build up. The guard that was supposed to recognize any sign of shadyness by man or wo-man and blow it away to smitherines. The guard that's let me down time and time again.

At chuch, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I prayed that God would just remove the burden from my heart. I just want that "oh well" attitude, so I won't let things affect me so deeply. But, I just couldn't shake it. Then my pastor spoke of the story of Abraham. Mainly, how he had a child with his servant and then sent them both to the street. For years, she was a faithful servant. How much more of herself could she give? She gave him a son. But despite her loyalty, despite his son's love for him, he sent them both away....with out so much as a donkey. He didn't care if they lived or died...at that moment, he just wanted them away.

"This," my pastor said,"is how cruel humans are." I looked up. His message was for me. He explained that it's often the people you trust the most...even your own family that hurt you the most...because you love them the most. Boy, was I familiar with that case scenario. I felt peace for some reason...and now I know why. Today a miracle happened.

This is the second time a miracle in this fashion has occurred in my life. It's one of those prodigal son moments...but it's not a son...it's a friend. The prodigal friend has returned...I now have the opportunity to forgive and forget...or hold my anger till the end. I'm not one to let a person repeatedly screw me over...but this person wasn't like that. I don't feel like I have to use caution in this decision. The dissapearance was caused by outside factors...nothing to do with me...or with my friend.

It's amazing to me to see how God speaks to people...the key here is whether people choose to listen.

2 comments:

suitablegirl said...

more people need to read this.
more people need to read YOU.

Anonymous said...

i am happy that you are happy sue!