## Monday, October 31, 2005

### Happy Neewollah!

immolate \IM-uh-layt\, transitive verb:
1. To sacrifice; to offer in sacrifice; to kill as a sacrificial victim.
2. To kill or destroy, often by fire.

Sentence: On Halloween, the evil lurk in order to capture a pure soul who they can immolate for Satan.

Ahh, yes...it's Halloween...and a dreary, foggy, rainy, cold day in OKC...how perfect! How can a holiday that is so fun be considered so evil. It's not fair, I tell you. This is the one day a year that you can wear pajamas and curlers to work and be considered cute and acceptable! I guess I will be staying at home to pass out candy to the varmants today. I better see some cute costumes or I'm going to give out coal. Oh wait...that's Christmas. The Illustrious Finuji asked me what she should say to trick-or-treaters when they come to her door saying "trick or treat." I told her that the customary response is "smell my feet." But she didn't buy that. Wouldn't it have been funny if she had??? Buahahah!

Anyhoo...on to my subject for the day. People who PR their flogs. I really have no problem with the fact that people want to gain more readership. It's cool to use various venues to advertise blogs. I, myself have done some PR work for my friends blogs. However, here's what I think is HILARIOUS. I know a certain someone...who shall remain nameless...who used to dawg on bloggers. I mean, at one point in time, it was far beyond him/her to become a member of the blogosphere. But now? Not only does he/she blog daily, PR his/her blog site, but he/she is also a CC!!! For those of you who don't know what a CC is...it's a individual who counts comments, or a comment counter!!! Now THAT makes me laugh. I just 4 words for this individual...I TOLD YOU SO! Blogs are addictive...writing and reading them! It's just interesting to know what's going on all around the blogosphere and capture small glimpses into the lives of random strangers! Bloggers aren't nerds!...we're just folks with things to say...who enjoy the limelight once in a while. ;)

## Sunday, October 30, 2005

### The MU and the TV

I accomplished the one thing that I set out to do this weekend...buy a new tv. I will no longer be forced to watch distorted green people or listen to my mother's constant complaining about the tv not working. Or so I thought...So, Friday night the Maternal Unit (which we will refer to as the MU) and I went TV shopping. We went to 3 different stores before we found one that we liked that was reasonably priced. We buy it (no interest till 2007) and bring it home. Yes, I lug the tv out of the back seat and drag it into the house...only to see that the idiot from the circuit city warehouse gave us the wrong tv. so guess who had to wake up early on Saturday to drag the tv back into the car and drive it back to the store? You guessed it...

After the whole tv mix up was rectified, I called Billy over to help me move the old monstrosity of a TV. However, there was one slight problem...my mother has no intention of trashing it. Instead, she wants to keep it in her room, where it will sit and collect dust for the next 20 years. As if storing a dead tv isn't bad enough, she went nutso on me because I threw away the manual to the old tv. I tried to argue the point with her...it's USELESS to keep a manual to a tv that is dead. However she insists that "someone" might want to fix it one day. Who this "someone" is...I have no idea. But if i ever meet him/her...i will tell him/her not to be dumb and spend thousands of dollars fixing a dead tv when they can spend the same thousands on a brand new one that is high definition!

As for the peace I thought I would be enjoying now that there is nothing to complain about. That is non-existent. Now, the MU is searching through sales ads to seek out better TV deals so she can complain that we got swindled on an over priced tv. as we speak I hear her saying that circuit city is now running a special that is no interest till 2008. Ahhh...the joy never ends..i tell ya.

## Friday, October 28, 2005

### don't push me cuz i'm close to the edge....

malediction \mal-uh-DIK-shun\, noun:
A curse or execration.

Sentence: Some people believe strongly in the power of a malediction, however I believe that if one is saved by the blood of Jesus, no malediction can come upon him.

It's Friday. Can I getta...Hallelujah? It's been a long, arduous week...and in 45 minutes, it will be all over!! I spent $110 on my window that the idiots broke today. (Just how I wanted to spend a chunk of my paycheck today.) Bleh...anyhoo, it's your favorite time and mine...SHOUTOUZ. to SunuK who has prayer meeting at her house this weekend. We all know how moms get when hosting prayer meetings. it is THE social event of the year to them, which only means one thing....they get their Hanes Her Way all twisted about any and everything and you will have hell to pay! to Billy TS who said the funniest comment of the week this week. I mentioned that I was going to stop by his house and he said, "very well. Garnett (their dog) will greet you at the door and guide you into the viewing area." maybe it's just me, but I thought that was friggin hilarious. to my first event planning gig scheduled for December. Baby Shower madness shall begin! to People Magazine for making my 30 minutes on the treadmill virtually painless. to my maternal unit...for FINALLY breaking down and agreeing to go new TV shopping TODAY!! no more watching abnormally wide green people!!! To this weekend's time change...Fall backwards!...more sleep!!! To DM & SM from talking me down from the edge of insanity this week. You'll have 1.5 days of me not whining before we're on to a new week. =/ ## Thursday, October 27, 2005 ### Never fear...the word for the day is here! mawkish \MOCK-ish\, adjective: 1. Sickly or excessively sentimental. 2. Insipid in taste; nauseous; disgusting Sentence: because of my mawkish personality, I have saved every rose petal I've ever gotten and contained them in an intricate, porcelain trinket box. Well guys, suddenly dictionary.com is no longer available. Tragedy, I know. If the website is up and running later, I will post a word for the day. I sat watching a re-run of Lost last night on my jacked up TV. I should rephrase that entire sentence. I sat LISTENING to a re-run of Lost last night cuz of my jacked up TV. I figured since it was a re-run, I'd stay at home instead of watching at the home of my good friend and neighbor, the Illustrious Finuji. I realized that Lost is my entire reason to live on Wednesday nights. Sad, yet true. So, without it, I was pushed into a deep, contemplative chasm of depression. It's just been that kind of week. At this very moment, I feel like I'm at Ferrara's Bakery (in Little Italy in NYC) standing in front of glass counters filled with cream-filled pastries, deep, dark chocolates and milk,creamy ones too, tarts, and truffles. Yep, so many options, but all I really want is Johnny Carino's chocolate cake...something so easy and so not accessible because they dont have JC's in NYC!! Does that make any sense? Probably not because no one knows what is in my head but me. I guess what I'm saying is that right now I'm in a point in life, where I have certain options...none of which seem too appealing to me. All I want is something seemingly simple...yet so difficult to obtain. *sigh* I just got tickets to see a Ballet..."Dracula's Revenge." This is one of the perks of working with the BC...when no one wants tickets they go to whoever does. Not that the OKC Ballet is something to get so excited about...but hey, it's excitement for me. I decided that I would share my good fortune with my friends who are moms. I figured they could use a little 2-hour escape from reality just as badly as I could. Plus, the times I get to hang out with them are few and far between. This due to the fact that they have lives, and little varmants that rely on them...and I have...well, I have...yah, so I don't have anything but the decision of what baked good to eat from where. So,...hopefully they can all come and we can take a fabulous upshot and a good time will be had by all. =) ## Tuesday, October 25, 2005 ### Scary Stories that'll give you the creepy crawlies... bruit \BROOT\, transitive verb: To report; to noise abroad. Sentence: Since Halloween is near,it seems as if ghost stories are being bruited every time I turn on the radio. I guess the last few weeks of October bring out people's interest in hearing ghost and goblin tales. Lately, it's all I've been hearing a ton of them on local radio stations. Listeners call in with their own tales or they vehemently proclaim that there are no such thing as ghosts. I'm not sure how you guys feel about the subject. But, personally...I believe ghosts are evil/tortured spirits. I'm too scared to watch the movie Emily Rose because it's a true story, and i know there is truth in demon possession. Some people argue that the demon possessed are crazy, but satan and his cronies do roam the earth...it's their stomping grounds. I guess I tend to believe it more because I've seen demon possessed people with my own eyes. And trust me when I say, it was FRIGHTENING. I've also experienced ghosts. Let me tell you the first tale. I used to sleep with some sort of music on...I would play the same song over and over on repeat until I woke up in the morning. One night I selected the remix of the song "Sailing"...I believe Chris Christopherson was the originally singer, but don't quote me on that. Anyway, my point is..the song was sung by a man and the remix was also sung by a man. In the morning, I awoke to a woman singing the song. It was so loud...it sounded like she was outside my window. At times, she forgot the words so she kinda hummed along. I looked out the window, but no one was there. I sat in bed, fully awake, and listened for a while as she sang (out of pitch) and hummed along. Finally I realized just how creepy it was, so I turned off the song...and she stopped. Another ghost story I have was when I went to Washington DC in March of 2004. We stayed at a hotel that had 2 wings. One was very old and historic and then the new, modern wing. We stayed at the new, modern end, but ghosts can walk. So, I was in bed with my arms hanging off the side, and I hadn't fully gone to sleep yet. I felt someone tugging on my arm. A bit freaked out, I tucked my arm under my cover, and tried to go to sleep. I wanted to tell my mom, but I knew she'd run out of the room, bang on my sister's door, and cause a big scene. As I lay there, trying to sleep, I felt like someone was climbing on top of me. It was such a heavy feeling. And whoever/whatever it was had my mouth covered. I couldn't even open my mouth. So I kind of let out a weak moan/growl for help. My mom heard, and asked me what was wrong. Instantly...the heaviness was removed from me. I quickly covered my head with the sheets and fell asleep praying. It was so frrr to the eaky! So those are my two ghost and goblin stories. Do you believe in spirits? Do you have a story?? If so, please share! ## Monday, October 24, 2005 ### What's Chub got to do...got to do with it? loquacious \loh-KWAY-shuhs\, adjective: 1. Very talkative. 2. Full of excessive talk; wordy. sentence: I've always longed to be a loquacious girl who could ease her way through a crowd and feel comfortable in any social situation. It's Monday. In the words of Destiny's Child, "Here we go...here we go again." Before I go on with my daily rant, let me take this time to congratulate Nina and Toby on their engagement. It's so nice to see best friends take their commitment to each other one step further into nuptial bliss!! I wish you guys a lifetime of love and happiness.... Speaking of marriage...a friend of mine told me this weekend that a friend of her's (who I hardly know) told her that perhaps I should grow out my hair, which would probably help with the chub factor in my face. I was a bit perplexed by the guy's suggestion. My friend said that the guy was suggesting ways that I could improve myself, so I can get married. I didn't know if I should be grateful or offended. Instead, I decided to stay perplexed. I'm sure Tina Turner wouldn't mind me butchering her song for this...but, "what's chub got to do... got to do with it?" I spent a lot of time looking at pictures of myself evolve over this past year. I look at pictures from February and shudder to think I let myself go like that. To me, it's not about how I looked but how out of control I was. When I compare pictures of myself now...I do indeed look different, however the thing that has changed the most is my self control. The fact that I've lost close to 40 pounds has not changed my marital status. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is why there are fat women who are in love with wonderful men at this very moment. And, this is why seemingly beautiful women are single. It takes more than just one's figure to make them attractive... No matter how hard we try to hide it under make up and stylish clothing...heart and soul matter. So, to the friend of the friend who suggested I grow out my hair....I appreciate the fact that you made a suggestion to help me out of my nuptial funk...but it's about more than my round face. Long hair...short hair...my face is round and my cheeks are chubby and that's never going to change. The only thing that's going to help me is if someone sees me for me...and likes me regardless of my many imperfections. I will continue to be the best me I can possibly be...this entails taking care of myself physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. ## Friday, October 21, 2005 lexicon \LEK-suh-kon\, noun; plural lexicons or lexica \-kuh\: 1. A book containing an alphabetical arrangement of the words in a language with the definition of each; a dictionary. 2. The vocabulary of a person, group, subject, or language. 3. [Linguistics] The total morphemes of a language. Sentence: The kids in my church have a distinct lexicon that outsiders do not understand. TGIF!!! I made it...survived another week. There is a cool, crisp feel in the air, which means that Fall has finally fallen upon Okc. I'm elated. I will take Scorpsy's lead once again with the 55 words of fiction. I had a good time doing it on Anna's post for Sepia. The city lights shone brightly through the haze of rain and fog, neither of which could slow the pace of life. People hurried on foot while cars waited impatiently for lights to turn colors. My eyes followed them intently, until I looked away from the photograph and hesitantly returned to my mind-numbing tasks at work. So that was fun. Now for Friday's shoutoutz: To the bastards who broke into my car...thank you for making me spend 115 useless bucks on your stupidity. You broke into a car that doesn't even have a CD player, CDs or anything else valuable except a brownie pan! To Mousse..for charming me with her cute lil self. Now my mind is riddled with confusion as I decide whether I should get her or not. Sorry CCL, but I'm 98% sure I will. To SunuK for admitting she took the remote control with her to school. You're the ONLY person who made me laugh today. To Jennifer Weiner for writing a book that held my attention for a solid week! That's the first book I've read within a week's time since my old college days of Literature. Now I'm excited to see the movie! To discovering what a mimosa is...I can't wait to try it. To weekends and all the nothingness they possess! ## Thursday, October 20, 2005 ### I needed a tocsin, indeed! word of the day: tocsin \TOCK-sin\, noun: 1. An alarm bell, or the ringing of a bell for the purpose of alarm. 2. A warning. sentence: If only I had installed a tocsin in my car, which would have alerted me of last night's intrusion. I heard them last night...the loud thump of bass in their car, the doors shutting, and their sounds of motion in my driveway. I thought it was my overactive imagination getting the best of me. I closed my eyes, and I could see the legs of the "others" walking through the jungle, dragging Walt's teddy bear along with them. I almost felt as if I was in the jungle too, creeping beneath the plush green leaves...watching breathlessly as they passed. I opened my eyes and convinced myself that I wasn't hearing what I thought I was hearing. I was just letting my mind scare me because I had watched a freaky episode of Lost. So, while I convinced myself of this...they shot out the window and unlocked my car door. They pilfered through my things, opened my glove box, and undoubtedly thought, "damn...this girl is messy." They didn't steal anything except my comfort and trust. I got to my car this morning and noticed the driver's side door slightly ajar and a window was shot out. Upon opening the door, I noticed that things were not as I had left them. My heart nearly stopped when I saw the garage door opener still in its' place. For a brief moment, I thought of what all could have happened...and stopped and thanked God for his protection. I then called the only person I knew who would know what to do. Upon Billy's advice, I called the cops. I'm waiting for them to call me back and take a criminal report. Nothing was stolen, but it just feels weird. Someone was in my car. Someone was touching my things. Someone was thinking "damn this girl is messy"...and it's not someone I know. ## Wednesday, October 19, 2005 ### Cocunuts! pelf \PELF\, noun: Money; riches; gain; -- generally conveying the idea of something ill-gotten. Sentence: Everyone knew that the pelf she suddenly attained was from the work she did afterhours as she walked scantily dressed on Lincoln Boulevard. The other day I called someone a coconut. She didn't know whether she was insulted or complimented. I tried to explain that it was neither an insult nor a compliment...just a statement that she obviously didn't understand. For those of you who don't know what a coconut is...it's a person who is Indian on the outside, but 100% American in the inside. The person in question tried to convince me she was Indian by blurting out some malayalam words, which she totally butchered. Finally, I asked her why she felt I was insulting her...why she felt that she had to defend herself to prove my statement wrong. I told her there was nothing wrong with being a coconut...it's just the way she is and that's just how it goes. Then she wanted me to explain WHY I think she's a coconut. I began to explain that she doesn't know a thing about Indian culture, traditions, can't intelligably speak the language, and...last but not least...she hates Indians. If that isn't a coconut, I'm not sure what is. I think she might have had a tinge of guilt at that point until I pointed out my theory of how she became a coconut. My theory is that most coconuts...not all, but most...become this way because of their parents. I think I shared this theory in my book (I'm not sure because it's been a long time since I read it)...Parents came to America, and were so hell bent on keeping "tradition"...that they didn't teach us culture. They taught us tradition as culture. Most of us either grew up accepting these traditions or turning completely against them. But in our minds, it wasn't tradition we were turning away from it was "culture." Sadly, our culture has been lost to us. We were never taught the beauty of Indian art, literature, music, etc. The food is perhaps the only taste of culture we have received. I'm happy to say that this coconut is trying to rectify the situation. She told me she bought this book about a form of massage that was originated in Kerala. Mothers have apparently been teaching their children this massage technique for generations. Oddly enough, it's something I never heard of. But when it comes right down to it, there's a ton of things about India and the Indian culture that I've never heard of. In a way, my conversation with her was a challenge to myself...to take time to really know my culture...not just traditions. ## Tuesday, October 18, 2005 ### Humpty Dumpty had a great fall...(and i don't mean the season) word of the day: votary \VOH-tuh-ree\, noun: 1. One who is devoted, given, or addicted to some particular pursuit, subject, study, or way of life. 2. A devoted admirer. 3. A devout adherent of a religion or cult. 4. A dedicated believer or advocate. Sentence: I'm a votary of the show Lost. Tuesday. Day 2. I have already screwed up majorly this week by forgetting my good friend Billy's birthday until 11 pm last night when it dawned on me. I wish there was a way to make it up to him. But alas, the only thing I can do is to publically say I am a wretch! Hopefully he will find it somewhere in his big heart to forgive me. Other than my royal mess up for the week...I also already made a royal fool of myself for the week. I was walking back to the building from lunch with my nose in a book. Somehow my foot got caught in my pant leg since my pants are always so long, and I went crashing to the ground. This girl came running to my aid, which merely embarrassed me more. I tried to cover it up with comments like..."perhaps that knocked some much needed sense into me." The wounds I suffered are as follows: a bruised shoulder along with a strawberry..or is it called a raspberry? whatever...my shoulder is black/blue and red....a small raspberry/strawberry on my cheek, a scraped knee, and a new pair of pants that are nearly torn at the knee. lovely..i know! The sad news for the day is that I'm completely re-thinking Mousse. CCL emailed me AND called me pleading with me to heed her warnings. Apparently Labs need lots of attention and are extremely playful, which CCL thinks does not match up with my personality. She believes I will end up getting annoyed with the dog and neglecting it, which will make the dog misbehave and start digging holes, in turn pissing my mom off...she will then kill me and Mousse. I'm afraid CCL didn't paint a pretty picture...so now I'm beginning to wonder. Perhaps I should re-think my position on this and research this whole dog thing a bit more. I will go see the pups though...and I will fall in love with Mousse and be broken hearted...that's for sure. That's all for now...maybe more later... ## Monday, October 17, 2005 ### Following Scorpsy's lead... 7 things I plan to do before I die: 1). Have a family 2). Write full time 3). Travel to every continent 4). Be the ideal weight for my height 5). travel the world extensively. 6). By an old home and renovate it 7). Bring at least one person to know Christ 7 things I can do: 1). make bead bracelets 2). bake brownies 3). make homemade salsa 4). Speak Ong language fluently 5). watch random people and create interesting stories 6). get ready in 7 minutes flat 7). be funny if necessary 7 things I cannot do: 1). sing. 2). socialize in a crowd of strangers 3). stay awake while driving home from work 4). watch a full episode of desperate housewives 5). hang out alone 6). calle married people unless truly necessary 7). let my nails grow 7 things that attract me to another person: 1). eyes 2). good smile 3). sense of humor 4). good conversationalist 5). deep thinker 6). avid reader 7). humility 7 things that I say most often: 1). so what else 2). what the 3). about done? 4). well, alrighty 5). dern 6). hey kid 7). later 7 People I want to do this: 1). CCL 2). Flog girls (those that remain...) 3). Mattie 4). Dains 5). Billy 6). Alex 7). Sunu K ### Me and Mousse... word of the day: aberrant \a-BERR-unt; AB-ur-unt\, adjective: Markedly different from an accepted norm; Deviating from the ordinary or natural type; abnormal. sentence: Sometimes I feel as if I have aberrant personality when comparing myself to those around me. Well, it's Monday again. I spent some time in prayer before I got ready for work this week, and I told God I couldn't take one more week of the rat race. I told him that this week, I needed to see a light at the end of my tunnel, an open door, a cracked window...something. I believe He will hear my prayers. Other than that, this weekend was uneventful. I overslept/chickened out of the race. I know, I'm a loser as my CCL repetitively told me on Saturday. I'm very aware. I should have just tried, but I felt a bit unprepared since I didn't run much last week. I will work harder this week and aim for a run sometime this spring. Instead, I spent the weekend tending to 2911 matters, which is what I'll be doing from now till November 19th. I got an email from Fins today, informing me that Mousse was born this weekend. She has 9 brothers and sisters...she had 11, but 2 died. I'm going to go see her some time this week, when she's strong enough to open her eyes. Hopefully the Maternal Unit will come along and be smitten by her...and thus, unable to say no to her. I had a long talk with my neighbor who agrees that a chocolate lab would be a great addition to the family since they make really good watch dogs. I really hope my plan succeeds...I'm already thinking of the fun Mousse and I will have...the long walks, the games of catch, and watching Lost together. Fun times...Mousse will be my companion and my BF...she will help me hate on the dog whose name rhymes with Hoco. Me and Mousse...I love it. In other news...I'm nearly done with new book I'm reading. I plan to go see the movie version with the kid cousins this week...they wil be on Fall Break. Geez, fall break, spring break, christmas break, thanksgiving break...i don't think these kids do enough work to necessitate all these breaks! But, I could sure use one once in a while! ## Friday, October 14, 2005 Word of the day: sinecure \SY-nih-kyur; SIN-ih-\, noun: An office or position that requires or involves little or no responsibility, work, or active service. Sentence: The work I did last year at the branch office was sinecure, which is why the office shut down. Ahh it's Friday...the sweetest day of the week. And, 4: 45 will be the sweetest time of the sweetest day of the week. I really need to do something about the rat race...I feel it sucking the life blood out of me. I have resorted to only appreciating one moment in time in the entire work week...and that, my friends...is sad. No time to dwell on the sadder aspects of my life. Today is Friday!...and thus, I have to do my shoutouts..or shoutout, I should say...I only have one...and that goes to... DM for providing me with another funny/funky,fresh blog to read when I'm bored. Other than that I'd like to talk about the "issues" in my life right now. My friend Fin told me her co-worker is selling labs. The mom is a blonde...and the dad is a chocolate. I've been really wanting a chocolate lab. I know if my CCL reads this she will say I'm uncapabale of caring for a dog. She's right...I'm not much of a pet person. But I do love big dogs...I hate tiny ones that names rhyme with Poco. Anyhoo, I'm hoping for two things...that my mother will agree to having this dog share her abode. Secondly, I'm really hoping that a chocolate lab will be in the mix. If so, I will name him/her Mousse. Get it?? Chocolate Mousse. =) If not, I might settle for a blonde and name her Brooklyn...after NY of course. ;) The next issue is tomorrow's 5k. I'm not ready for it. This was supposed to be a prep run for the DC race. However, that has been canceled...apparently a family that doesn't blog together doesn't jog together either. (our site is dying!) So now...I'm running this race and I am wondering if I'll even make it through alive! Please cross your fingers for me!! I saw the cutest shirt on fossil.com this was a part of my one purchase a month to become a more fashionable sue! but for some nutty reason my CC address doesn't match up with the address i gave them despite the fact it's exactly the same!...thus i can't buy the shirt. I'm totally bummed, but i guess it's a sign that perhaps i shouldn't buy it since I bought a shirt at h&m this month. =/ Last but not least...2911. For those of you who don't know...2911 is the name of the play I wrote for our youth fellowship (OPYF). Last year, DM was the president of the youth fellowship and I got suckered into helping out with things all throughout the year. It was totally killing what little social life I had so I vowed that I wasn't going to be as involved this year. So much for that. I find that most of my weekends and weekdays for that matter are scheduled around play practices and such. Y'day was the first practice I atteneded and I was quite blown away by these kids. I wanted to pass out oscars. They are doing a phenominal job. Unfortunately, I will miss the final presentation because I'll be in the Bahamas...which completely sucks. It was really awesome to see them performing words I'd written. I can't wait to see it all come together...unfortunately, I'll have to settle for the DVD version. Have a wonderful weekend guys! ## Thursday, October 13, 2005 word of the day: conurbation \kon-uhr-BAY-shuhn\, noun: An aggregation or continuous network of urban communities. Sentence of the day: I have no idea how to use conurbation in a sentence? (does that suffice?) Thank God it's Thursday! One more day to get through and then I'm home free!!! This is a really a sad way of life. Anywhoo...I must give my shoutout to the new blogger in the hizhouse...my BF's hubby and my very own BF #2. Check out his funky, fresh blog at http://vc3.blogspot.com/ . Ok, I did my PR work for today...now on to my mind numbing banter for the day. Actually, my mind is so numb, I have no banter today. =/ ## Wednesday, October 12, 2005 ### A stroll throught Time Square word of the day: gewgaw \G(Y)OO-gaw\, noun: A showy trifle; a trinket; a bauble. sentence of the day: Chinatown is full of cheap gewgaw. I realized this weekend how much of a pessimist I am, and I was a bit ashamed. We were in Time Square and there was an artist on the side of the road spray painting a city scene. He had a crowd around him, and we were all in awe of how easy he made it seem to create such fantastic art. His face looked sullen and serious and each movement he made with his hands and the spray paint was done with such familiar ease that it was almost robotic. When he finally finished, he held it up to the crowd and everyone clapped and oohed and awwed, and then a smile came over the painter's face. His eyes seemed to light up with pride and for that brief moment everything seemed worth it to him. I walked along silently for a while thinking about the painter. I felt somehow sorry for him. My friend JU walked beside me, and I took it upon myself to vent. I told him that I felt sorry for the painter....because he almost seemed sad when he was painting. I mean, do you expect me to honestly believe that his heart's desire is to sit on a street corner and paint the same scene over and over again?...All so someone tourist can pay a mere 15 bucks for his work of art? How does he feel knowing his art is worth 15 bucks? Yet, at the end...it's that 5 seconds of crowd appreciation that must keep him going...that fuels his inspiration...that makes him smile. However, JU had a completely different take on the situation. You see, he's a born optimist. He said when he saw the guy painting, he thought about how he was spending each day doing something he loves...that surely it wasn't the 15$ that brought him back every night but the love of his art and the appreciation he received for it was indeed his fuel. JU said that painting that city scape every night...with the twin towers towering over the rest of the buildings...was a way for him to express himself and his loss/sorrow he felt for the city he loves.

I defintely like JU's theory better. It made me feel happier for the guy and for myself. I guess in a lot of ways I compared the guy to me. His painting was my writing letters for BC, my freelance gigs on topics I know nothing about, and my blogs. I guess in a way listening to JU's theory made me grateful for the opportunities I do have to share my writing with others. I may not be able to sit at home and write books full time...but I need to be more optimistic about the things I'm doing right now while I continue to plan for the future.

Yep...this is what I learned on my stroll through Time Square.

## Tuesday, October 11, 2005

### oops...i forgot

word of the day:
1. Capable of being touched and felt; perceptible by the touch; as, "a palpable form."
2. Easily perceptible; plain; distinct; obvious; readily detected; as, "palpable imposture; palpable absurdity; palpable errors

sentence of the day:
Give me one palpable reason as to why I should give you a second chance?

I forgot my word for the day...forgive me...my head is not functioning properly today.
I'm back from my trip to New York. *sigh* I knew I was back to Oklahoma when I saw a woman on the plane from DFW to Okc wearing a black Halloween sweater with pumpkins crocheted all over it. My heart sunk as I thought, "no one in NYC would ever wear that!" This was the first time I really took notice of NYC fashion. I love how the people there just layer clothes and make things "work." I went to this store called H&M...I'm not sure how New Yorkers feel about that store, but considering the fact that it was so busy...I'm guessing it's pretty popular. Anyway, the clothes were so cute, but I almost felt like it was too fashionable for me. I'd look ridiculous in it! I'd see something on the hanger and think "ehh, what's so great about that?" and then see someone in the dressing room would come out in it and it looked terrific! There is some sort of fashion independence there. People just wear whatever and it looks friggin awesome. Here in Okc it's entirely different. There's a set style. You rarely see anyone wearing things that are different than the norm, yet still be considered fashionable.

Finuji and I started playing a game at Laguardia airport as we waited to board. We played "guess the New Yorker"...it was so obvious who was from NYC and who wasn't...all you had to look for were pointy-toed shoes, high heels, flashy hand bags, and the confident stride. I think we were all totally inspired by fashion. And now we're going to try to be more cautious of it. I definitely don't want to get wrapped up in wanting to buy Prada or wearing high fashion brands. But, i do want to experience fashion freedom...making unlikely things work...and being different from the norm. the only problem with that is that there are no stores comparable here in okc.

I guess for now, I'll wear my usual teacher gear until I get to my goal weight...then I'll worry about being fashionable. =/

## Friday, October 07, 2005

### SHIZOUT OUTS...(blognapped from SunuK)

ok folks...
i'm in less of a grumpy mood. i figure why stress about crap you can't control? That being said...i'm so inspired by sunuk's Friday shoutouts...that i decided to make my own Friday shoutouts. snuk, sorry for thieving your idea of sheer brilliance!

let the shoutouts proceed....

#1 to SunuK for coming up with this unbelievably great idea and for making me laugh each and every single day with her antics on her blog. long live proudy!

#2 to my new pink purse given to me by my good friend and neighbor the illustrious finuji! i think i'm in love with it!

#3 to getting off of work early for two days in a row!

#4 to Gabe and Abbie for singing me the best Happy Birthday Sue Aunty I've heard in my entire life.

#5 to turning 31 and realizing that whether it sucks or not...that's what I am so I just gotta get on with it...I've got 365 days to do something magnificent before I turn 32 and realize 31 was a total wash.

#6 to the flog girls who will be meeting tomorrow night despite the chaos caused by commenters.

#7 to my CCL for using the world wide web to bafoon the hell out of me. January 27/28th isn't too far away...and it'll be my turn!

#8 to the University of Texas at Austin...Crush OU, please!!!!! (I have no loyalty)

#9 to dictionary.com for teaching me great words this week..."onus, sempiternal,inchoate,beneficience,

#10 to the creators of Lost...I would be lost with out you!

### > : /

word of the day:
onus \OH-nuhs\, noun:
1. A burden; an obligation; a disagreeable necessity.
2. a: A stigma. b: Blame.
3. The burden of proof

Sentence of the day: The onus of repairs is stressing me out.

I'm leaving in a few hours, and I should be in a good mood. But, instead, I'm so grumpy. If someone looks at me wrong...I'm gonna mentally jump down their throats! Everything in my friggin house is falling apart RIGHT NOW. So of course, my mom thinks I need to be at home finding repair men or accompanying her to buy this new crap instead of traveling. God forbid she take care of that on her own. So now I know...beyond a doubt...that with everything broken around the house, she'll have nothing to do about sit and stew about how i abandoned her in her hour of need.

Earlier this week it was the water heater. I was sitting at work...minding my own business when I got a crazed phone call from her..."water is coming out...heat...water...heater...water heater!" apparently the water heater erupted and spewed a load of water into the garage. Remaining calm, i advised her to open the garage, and back out the car while i called the plummer. meanwhile...she should find a neighbor to help her turn off the water. i called the plummer and what did she do? well, instead of taking my advice she calss 911. what do they tell her? CALL A PLUMBER. After a day/night with out water...that is now finally fixed.

Today...I get another call. "the TV is finally gone." For months our TV has been seriously jacked. The picture was so messed up that I didn't even know who actors were unless I could tell by their voices. So, I called a few TV repairmen...all of which said it'd be a lot of time and money...and we'd be better off buying a new one? I suggested my mom take care of this this weekend since she is retired and would be so bored with out a tv. But...is she going to listen? nope. why? she needs me to go with her.

I'm quite sure that between now and the time I leave the stove which has been jacked for the past year...(one of 4 burners now work) will also break. So she'll be with out TV and food...and I can feel guilty for the next 2 days while I'm on my mini-vacation.

As if that's not bad enough..I HAVE A PAPER JAM NOW!

## Thursday, October 06, 2005

### Happy Birthday Dear Sue Aunty...

word of the day:
Of never ending duration; having beginning but no end; everlasting; endless.

Sentence: Today I stop to think about life and realize it is not a sempiternal cycle of events and happenings, so I must cherish what each day has to offer.

Man, that sentence made me laugh. It was cheesy and dramatic..just the way I like it. I'm 31 today. Am I enjoying it? Not so much. Being 30 is kind of fun. It's a "special" birthday...30's kind of a hip age although I whined and moaned about turning 30 also. But 31? Man, I've crossed all lines of hip and cool. I'm just old now. O-L-D old. On the bright side...(I'm searching REALLY hard to find a bright side)...I came to work to find a delicious cookie cake on my desk, along with a very cute picture frame(bought specifically to hold a picture from my fantabulous weekend in nyc), and I had many calls this morning from my vonderful friends. It all began at 11 pm y'day when Sheryl did her ritual birthday call honoring EST since I claim to be born in New York. This morning the birthday calls continued from my 3 BF's...Billy, BF(Sonia), and Sherry. Sherry's call was extraspecially sweet because I said Hello and her two little ones, Gabe and Abby (2 and 1) sang me their rendition of "Happy Birthday Dear Sue Aunty." It was the sweetest thing I've ever heard(challenge to CCL to get Ethan and Lauren to sing me a duet!) Anyhoo, so although birthdays suck because of the getting older aspect, the acts of "beneficience" are most enjoyable. Oh..oh...not to mention...NYC TRIP IS A LITTLE OVER 24 HOURS AWAY!!---yeehaw!

After going down memory lane with Sheryl a bit yesterday...and listening to her wheeze and laugh like a hyena with an ocassional pot belly pig snort here and there...I realized that life so far has had its definite downs and disappointments...but i've also had a good time along the way...lots of things to look back at fondly and crack up about. ;)

## Wednesday, October 05, 2005

word of the day:
beneficence \buh-NEFF-i-suhns\, noun:
1. The practice of doing good; active goodness, kindness, or charity.
2. A charitable gift or act

Sentence: I need a random act of beneficence to get me through this day.

After six years of waiting for an opening to become available in the department of my dreams, I ended up not getting hired for the job. I was told that I was one of the top two choices, which doesn't make me feel any better about the rejection. Why wasn't i the # 1 choice? Because the other person had better accounting skills...who knew that'd be so necessary in creative services?

To say that i'm completely crushed and heart broken is an understatement. I'm currently choking on the ball of emotions that's lodged in my throat. I'm looking forward to the lunch hour when I can unleash my tears and mourn properly in the confines of my car.

Do you ever feel like you're chasing your own tail? I feel like that...Actually, I can't remember a time when I haven't felt like that. Sometimes I just want to stand outside, look up into the sky with my arms extended and scream..."WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?" I know, I know...think happy thoughts...NYC...yah, yah...Flog meet up...right, right...I'll be happy. I'm just not happy AT ALL right now.

## Tuesday, October 04, 2005

word of the day:
1. In an initial or early stage; just begun.
2. Imperfectly formed or formulated

Sentence: I'm beginning to question my inchoate decision.

I have a headache. I just got back from a little excursion to go find BC's car at the airport. On the way back, I rolled my windows down in my car and decided to enjoy the last day of warm weather before the cold front rolls in. The music was blaring and the wind was whipping around my crazy curls when all of a sudden I smelled the faint odor of burning rubber. It was as if someone had hit my panic button. Suddenly I remembered how my tire needed to be changed urgently, and I shouldn't be driving on the highway with my car. And where was I? ON THE HIGHWAY. I pulled over to inspect my tire...and my friend "Hoo" was driving down the highway just about that time and saw me pulled over. He frantically came to a screeching halt on the side of the road, jumped out, and said "well, hootie...what the hell happened?" I started blubbering about burning rubber, bad tires, and somewhere in there threw in an "I'm scared." That's all he needed to hear...he told me to follow him and then proceeded to air up my tire. All the while he was lecturing me about how I desperately need a set of new tires, something about tread, and wearing away. I hateeeeeeeee car problems. I know, I know...girls can do anything boys can do. But this girl can't deal with car issues...so the thought of going to get four new tires has increased my blood pressure and the overall pressure within my head. wah, wah, wah.

## Monday, October 03, 2005

### Escape from the daily grind on the horizon...

effulgence \i-FUL-juhn(t)s\, noun:
The state of being bright and radiant; splendor; brilliance.

Sentence: I have missed the effulgence of the morning because I woke up an hour late, arrived at the office to see that the coffee pot spilled over, and discovered I accidently deleted the rolodex on my computer.

Good Monday to you all. The sentence above shows you how my Monday began, however I do not intend to let it carry on this way. No, this is a much anticipated Monday. New opportunities are on the horizon, and I'm going to "carpe diem." Not to mention...just 4 more days till my trip to my favorite city on the planet! I've obviously got reasons to be excited.

I have an interview today!! I've been waiting for this opportunity to open up for six long years! It's to work within the department of my dream....CREATIVE SERVICES! Doesn't that just sound fun?? So, if you're reading this...please say a prayer for me today!