Today we lay his body to rest...but I'm sure his soul is dancing with the angels...

My mom said it best when reading an article about John in Thursday's paper..."He was a light." Someone who didn't know him could tell that just by an article...

I struggled with whether or not I should go to the viewing and see John one last time...since the funeral today will be closed. I wanted to perserve the memory I had of him in my mind...vivacious and expressive. I didn't want my mind to be clouded with the memory of seeing him lifeless. However, I thought attending the viewing would make it more easy to accept the reality that he's gone. So, I went... I know that the John I saw in that room was not really John. It was a shell of a man whose soul is now in heaven. It was his life that was beautiful...

So in honor of his life...


John at one of our picnics in the parking lot...hanging out in the dunk tank!

John in his plaid Christmas pants...just being his silly self!

Jo and John in a potato sack race! How many presidents of companies do you know that'd be in a potatoe sack race?

John learning how to do the chicken dance!

Chef John...volunteering his time to the United Way...just one of the many organizations he devoted his time and energy to.

Because I have no energy to write a real post...

1. What does your MySpace headline mean?:
Mousse's mom...John set up my myspace...and i think the meaning is obvious.

2. Elaborate on your default photo:
it's me trying to be photogenic in my car

3. What's your middle name[s]?
Abraham

5. What EXACTLY are you wearing right now?:
slacks, shirt, sweater...

6. What is your current problem?
accepting a very cruel reality

7. What do you love most?
the people God has placed in my life

8. What makes you most happy?
sunny days

9. Are you musically inclined?
heck yah, i play the tamborine, which seems to be missing from the church, by the way. is there a reason for that?!?

10. If you could go back in time, and change something, what would it be?
i'd be smarter in my younger days

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day?
my mousse...just to know what she thinks and feels

12. Ever have a near death experience?
yah, in junior high. this chick brought a gun to school and she was standing right behind me.

13. Name an obvious quality you have?
i'm a pretty dern good shower thrower

14. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
i will praise you in the storm

15. Who did you cut and paste this from?:
suja

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you:
this girl named michelle that i knew in h.s....she wore braces for over 10 years. i wonder if she still has them now.

17. Have you ever vandalized someone's private property:
nope

18. Have you ever been in a fight?
a few...i'm not proud of...but all fights have long since been resovled.

19. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
yeah...people laughed.. why? they must be jealous

20. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?
eyes

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
lowfat caramel frappucino

22. Do you have a crush on anybody from your Top 8?
no, half of em' are related!

23. Ever had a drunken night in Mexico?
no i was prayin' out demons in mexico

24.Has anyone ever said u looked like a celebrity?
yep...nicole richie...oddly enough.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
yah, i love that's so raven

26. Did you have braces?
yep for a while

27. Are you comfortable with your height?
i am until i'm around my freakishly tall cousins

29. Do you speak any other languages?
yah, malayalam..FLUENTLY

30. Whats your favorite smell?
brownies baking!

Oklahoma City is cold and gray today...and I can't help but think it is because it has lost some of it's warmth. I work in an office that is pin drop silent on the average day, but today...the silence and sadness is so thick that it's almost suffocating. Today we lost someone who was not just one of our bosses, but a friend.

Every once in a while...you are lucky enough to meet one of those people...someone who is the epitome of all things good...that is loved by all...and reaches out to more than just their family, friends, and peers...but to their community in order to impact the lives of others. I was blessed enough to know a man like this. His name was John Rex.

When I talked about him to others, I referred to him as the apachen at work...because that's truly what he was like...a grandfather. He was loving, kind, and protective. He never treated me like I was just one of the girls who worked for him...but WITH him. He brought a family atmosphere to this company. And you could always feels his pride in us...not just in the success of the company...but in each individual and what they brought to the company. Often, he would take the time to introduce me to people who would come by the office to meet with him. "This is Susan Varghese...our resident author...tell em' about your book, Susan." He did more PR/marketing work for me than my publishers!

Every morning he walked in with a smile, saying goodmorning to each of us girls in a special way. It's the little things that I took for granted that are memories that I hold dearly now. He spoiled us with lunches and special gifts for every holiday. Even though he was gone to Ireland during Easter, he made sure his assistant left the Easter Egg baskets he bought for us on our desks.

This last card was perhaps the most special that I've received...not just from him, but from anyone..."snuggly, cuddly, soft, and sweet, this bunny's just like you. she's loved a lot from ears to feet, and sweetheart,you are too!" This weekend I bought him a stuffed pig and a card...(He collects pigs because he was a former Arkansas Razerback...), but unfortunately, it's something I will never be able to give to him.

Yesterday, he called and told me he would be going home. He sounded great...and I was thrilled. I ordered diet cokes...to make sure we'd have plenty when he came back. The last thing I thought I'd hear first thing this morning is that his heart stopped and he was no longer with us. His loss will be felt every day...

Happy Early Birthday, Etha!

Happy early Birthday to my boy, Ethan! Doesn't he look EXCITED in this pic? He turns thwee this Saturday. Since I'll be flying the friendly skies that day, I thought I'd post an early shoutout. Ethan and his baby sistah have birthdays just 2 weeks apart, so mom, CCL threw them a party together this past weekend. These kids are all my cousins' kids in Dallas. I guess I'll be spending more time with this gang if I get to move. Right now, they only know me as "Susan Aunty in Oklahoma who wrote that book." I can't believe the three in the back (Becky, Rea, and David) have grown so much! It wasn't that long ago when they were tiny tots like the ones in the front (Elisa, Ethan, Kristie Ann, Ruthie, and Hannah). Kids grow up way too fast, that's all I've got to say.


I'm the crazy aunt who comes up with nicknames for my nephews and nieces..so, I've officially dubbed baby Lauren...Lola....(short for lauren love) I love it! This is Lola attempting to blow out the candle of her very first birthday cupcake! I wish her hand wasn't blocking her chubby wubby cheeks.

i received a rather interesting email the other day from a girl i haven't talked to in over 12 years. we went to high school together back in the day. i was shocked that she found this email address because it's not one that i use quite frequently. i responded to her email to discover that she found me because she works for southwest airlines and saw my name was among a list of passengers ...so she thought she'd see if this Susan V was actually me.

it was a shot in the dark...i say that because my name has got to be THE MOST common name among malus. For crying outloud...my sister-in-law has the same exact name as me...which makes for some complicated situations at times. I know a trillion Susan's...unfortunately, half of them are in my own family. Growing up, it was confusing spending summers with the cousins when there was 2 of us around. Therefore, we were dubbed SusanTee and SusanVee...and the names have stuck with us ever since. After my bro married a Susan, I took on the name Sue...and now, when people call me Susan, it almost sounds strange.

Varghese...there's another common last name. I always get the question, "Are you related to so and so?" i usually answer this by saying that Varghese is comparable to Smith in America. And if that's true, Susan Varghese is the equivalent of Jennifer Smith. My favorite person at work, who I call Apachen (grandpa) went to Ireland last month. Unfortunately, he had a heart attack while he was there. He was able to come back home last weekend...and for the first time in several weeks, he called and i was able to talk to him today. He said..."I met your cousin last week." I laughed because I knew exactly where the conversation was headed. He said her name was Mary Varghese...and she was his nurse in Ireland. I assured him that we Vargheses' are EVERYWHERE!!

The best compliment ever...

This pic was Andrew's suggestion...
Marissa said I should make this one my wallpaper on my phone...and although my eyes are no where to be found this...they look too cute, so i agreed.


Marissa: Do you miss Apachen?

SueAunty: Yep, I sure do, Missa...every day.

Marissa: I do too. Was he nice?

SueAunty: He was really nice...if he was here, you'd want to come over day because he would be so much fun...and he'd take you places, spoil you, and make you laugh.

Marissa: So he's like you?

(Could she have possibly known that THAT was the best compliment she could have ever given me??)

aah...it's Friday. it's about time! i feel like this week absolutely crawled by. is it wrong that i've already packed my suitcase for my trip to florida? it's not until April 29th. mattie seems to think i'm a loser...but he doesn't know how badly i need a week to just VEG.

i'm really pissed off at the moment....at my hair! it's grown out a tad, but nowhere near long enough. i've been trying to study it to see if I could salvage it with perhaps another cut...but after careful examination of it, i think the best thing to do is to contue to clip and grow. =/

this has been a really slow blogging week. i don't know if my brain is just running in slow-mo or what, but i really don't have much to discuss these days. =/

that being said....a blog thing...just for you!

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

life is strange...

Life is funny....ok, not really. Life is strange. That's a more accurate statement. How long have I been looking for a job? Consistently for 4 years. That's just sad. What's sadder is that during this 4 years...I got a new job. I'm not one that just hates my job regardless of what the job is. Although, at this particular time, I can't remember a job I liked. Oh wait...yes, it's come to me. I liked 2 of my jobs. One, when I worked with Sunu A for a mortgage loan company and the other when I repossessed cars. (not physically...i did the background stuff for the actual people who did repossess them~ fun times). That being said...where was I? Oh yes, I'm trying to convince you all that I'm just not a whiner who hates working.

I have 2 weeks to hear from Dallas...and in the meantime, I discovered that a job will be opening up here in the company. This job offers more pay, and I'll get to work side by side with a very good friend, so it would be fun as well. But, it's still in Oklahoma and it's still in the company. However...on the flip side...it's still a job and it's still money. Luckily the job officially opens in a few weeks...approximately the time I find out about Dallas.

Never before in my entire life have I been so dumbfounded about the direction of my life. I am at a point where I feel completely out of control. Usually this would bother me. I would worry, fret, and do my best to grasp my sweaty little hands on to the situation and cling to control for dear life. however, this time, I've just resigned to let go and let God.

When God led the whining Israelites out of Egypt, they were forced to follow him. To follow the cloud/fire which he used to lead them....to go when he said to go and stop when He said to stop. They were whining the entire way because they had no control...they had no idea where they were going or when they were getting there. They had to follow in faith. I feel much the same way...I don't know where I'm going...when I'm getting there...but I've gotta just live by faith. If i don't get the Dallas job, I'll be disappointed...but I've been praying so much and so have all of you who care about me...so I know that where He closes one door...another will open. I'm just doing my best to not whine along the way...but to follow in faith.

I got several complaints y'day about not having a new post y'day...but compared to last week, this week has been a dry one for blog posts. I talked to Sunu last night in Banglore. Sonia 3-way'd us...It was tres cool and crystal clear. So far, she's so good. She was supposed to meet the people she's going to be working with yesterday...so I guess we'll just have to call her later this week for an update. ;)

Due to the fact that I've got nothing to report today...I had to resort to a Blog Quiz...=/

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

So much to say...so little time...

Wow, I've got three days of "stuff" to talk about today, but I've only got a few minutes to catch up the blog before I have to do some actual work. *bleh*

so this is my suit...i finally got one the day before I left for dallas. thanks to julie and finu for their patience as they helped me suit shop. finz and i finally found one at kohls and it turned out pretty alright...although i still don't believe i'm a suit person. wednesday night was just a fiasco, first i couldn't find my credit card to buy my suit, and then i get a call from the mother stating she ripped the front bumper off her car, so i wouldn't be able to drive it down to dallas. luckily, both situations were taken care of and I was able to get to texas safely and soundly.

i really could feel everyone's prayers with me. it was probably one of the first times in my life that I drove all around the place and didn't get lost once. ccl and alex were surprised that i never called to ask them for directions either. i really felt God's grace with me and it was a really nice feeling.

the job interviews went quite well. both had testing, but i survived and now must sit around and wait for 2 weeks, which is when both jobs stated that they would let me know. all my practicing came in handy...so thanks, mattie for making sure i was prepared. if i get either job, i will move. if i get both jobs, i will have a really hard decision ahead of me. one is an investment in the future with very little reward right now...the other is everything i need right now with a possibility of investment in the future. please continue to pray for me, because i know there is power in prayers...i def'ly felt it last week.

my trip to dallas was short, but sweet. at least i got to ccl and family one more time before they move off to houston...i took some cute pictures of the kids, but mousse ate a very essential cord that plugs the camera to the computer, so until that's replaced...i had to borrow pics from CCL and my camera phone.
while i spent the afternoon in a car waiting around for my interview (too scared to roam to far away from the location in fear of getting lost!!) ccl and family went to the "R-burrito" as ethan calls it...where they took pics among the beautiful flowers. i loved how this one turned out, so I thought I'd post it! ;)
Later, after the interviews, I got to the house and gave the kiddos an easter basket. unfortunately, all the chocolate was melted. Ethan amused me by trying on the funky sunglasses i got the kids. lauren wasn't too amused by hers.

Speaking of little "wo-wen"/baby sistah...she is officially a year old! Her birthday was Saturday, but due to my insane weekend, I was unable to do a birthday shoutout for this lil' cutie pie. happy birthday little lauren...suevee aunty loves you to pieces!

Last but not least...SunuA. We had her send-off dinner on Friday. I rushed back from Dallas and bought decor and made chicken curry for the party. i was rushing around like crazy and ended up falling in my house and injuring my knee. =/ it was such a crazy day, but all went well. i took some really cute pictures, but unfortunately, they are being held hostage inside my camera until i get a new cord. =/

Sunday I went back to dallas to take sunu to DFW for her flight to india. luckily sheryl agreed to come with so my trip back with her folks wouldn't be so boring. although, she did require me to be her personal slave for the day. that lasted for all of 5 minutes...and then things returned to the way they should be...with me laying in the back with my feet propped up on her lap. =) ahahahah...anyway, sunu's on her way...safe and sound...and i will update you all as i get updates!

thanks to all of you who prayed for me, checked in on me, helped me shop, and helped me prepare...please keep me in your prayers for the next two weeks. moving is a HUGE deal...and I really just want to go if it's God's will.

Well, my lunch with Julie was enjoyable due to her company but highly unproductive due to me. Unfortunately Chokelahoma doesn't have an Ann Taylor Loft, so I was stuck with Ann Taylor. I nearly swallowed my tongue and convulsed while looking at their prices. I quickly scurried off to the back of the stores where the sales are located...no dice. I needed a sale for the sale items. =/ Not to mention, the sale stuff is always size 2, which is clearly not my size.

Next I was off to Dillards...the Macy's equivalent for you East Coasters. I tried on a few suits...And here's my problem. I'm not porportioned correctly. If a skirt fits, then I need a jacket that is like ten sizes larger. I'm skinnier from the hip bone down than I am from the hip up, which purposes serious problems when clothes hunting.

Before I completely throw in the towel on this little search, I'm going to try a few more stores tonight...the Illustrious Finuji and SunuA both have a few things they think might fit, which I highly doubt...and after all that fails...well, I'll just be screwed. =/

In other news, I've formulated a zit during this stressful suitable suit search. I wish i had more time, but i've got exactly 6 hours to come up with a suit that fits perfectly before I leave tomorrow. And in the midst of the sheer anxiety is a whole lotta excitement. =)

The Search for the Suitable Suit...

I was happy yesterday. I mean, why wouldn't I be? For four years, I've been pushing to find a job out of OKC and then VOILA...in the past 2 days, two actual, certifiable potentials. I was elated! And then, my happiness took a nose dive after a conversation with CCL:

CCL: what are you going to wear?
Me: uh, wear?
CCL: yah, just wear a suit.
me: a suit?
CCL: you have a suit, right.
me: a suit?
CCL: YOU HAVE TO WEAR A SUIT...this is for a REAL job.

So, I set off to find a suit last night. However, I'm a kanjoos/cheapskate at heart and refused to buy a dumb suit that I'd never wear again for over a hundred bucks. So where do I head? Target. I took a few ensembles into the dressing room and scoffed at myself in the mirror after wearing each one. I was tired, hungry and disappointed...but I trudged through the womens' section returning all the clothes to their proper positions...As I was doing this I heard a voice call out, "Susan!"...It was Melissa...my old colleague at Eckerd Drugs. We worked together during our college years. I seem to run into her every time I'm out shopping. So after telling her my suit woes...we parted ways. I was headed out of the store, when I heard it again...a voice calling out, "Susan!"...This time it was Mary...my old high school chum. I wasn't having much luck with the suit, but it sure was a great night for reunions at Target.

Today is Day 2 of the search for the suitable suit...I've enlisted Julie's help as we set out to the mall at lunch. If that doesn't work, I'll be calling in the big guns tonight...Sunu said she'd come over and throw something together. It'd help if I had options for her to throw...

Meanwhile, Mattie called me last night for a mock interview. He made me sweat so much under pressure that I had to turn on my fan. However, after realizing that I failed miserably answering his questions with too many "uhs" I spent the next two hours online practicing interview questions and taking practice editing tests. I've never prepared this much for an interview in my life. I hope it all pays off.

Miracles never cease...

guess who just called? the first company i applied for...now they want to interview me on thursday! this is so nutsssssssss...but exciting!

I debated on whether or not I should write this post because I don't want to get everyone's hopes up for me. But, so many of you have been asking me about the job hunt situation, so I thought I'd go ahead and share my bit of good news.

I got a call yesterday from a company in Texas...not the one I talked about in earlier posts...but a different one...anyway, they called me in for an interview...THIS Friday! I'm really excited. Although I know that it's a shot in the dark, I'm just elated that I have an actual opportunity to meet with someone. In the 4 years that I've been earnestly looking, I haven't had any out-of-state interviews, so I'm thrilled about this potential.

It just strikes me as funny that CCL is moving and I might be moving to the place she's leaving. How weird would that be. I have a lot of decisions to weigh out and consider, however I'm quite at peace about everything because I know that it's all in God's hands. All I can do is my best...and God's gotta do the rest. (I swear I didn't mean for that to rhyme!)

Finding "Chazown"...

Sunday's church service was a bitter sweet one for me. Bitter...because the thought of being with out my closest friend in OKC for the next two months left my heart really heavy. Sweet because the thought of my friend finding the chazown for her life made the heaviness bearable. Chazown is the Hebrew word for "vision." After several months of considering, and a solid month of prayer, Sunu A has decided that next Sunday, she will embark on a 2 month journey to India devoting herself to orphan care. She will be headed to Bangalore to stay in an orphanage, work with children who were born into brothels, teaching in a VBS with over 600 children, and doing what God has always intended for her to do with her life.

You know you have found a lifetime friend, when someone knows your weaknesses and doesn't judge you for them...and knows your strengths and reminds you of them when you forget. This is exactly what Sunu and I have in each other. We've seen each other through the worst of times...and the best. And, this is definitely the best of times for her. Never have I seen her more happy and excited about life. This is only because God gave her this vision and He has finally brought it to pass. It's been awesome to see her through this journey. I only wish I could join her in India and watch her in her element...but I'll definitely be waiting to hear all about it when she gets back.

Sunu and I had a chance to chat on Friday over a cup of coffee..and I started to tell her about the book that Sheryl has let me borrow, called "Chazown." It's an amazing book that talks about God's vision for your life and it helps you discover and live out your purpose. I started to point out to her that although we always dawg on her...okok, although I always dawg on her about her fob tendencies...(the fluent malayalam, the malayalam singing, the adoration of all things indian), it's really obvious to me now that God created her with a passion and love for India for a reason...because all along He knew that He would use her there. I think that's so amazing.

Often we overlook things about ourselves or just consider them quirks...but we are uniquely and perfectly made for a reason! Siby and Jason have also discovered their chazown. I listened to both cds this weekend, and they are absolutely amazing. I'm just in awe of how anointed these young men are...and their cds are nothing short of beautiful.

All three of these individuals have made me really consider my own chazown...I know that God has a purpose for me...and even in my unfaithfulness, he has opened doors to use me. My writing is far from prolific...but, I know that it is my purpose. We often try to be modest and downplay our talents...but to downplay our talents is to misuse God's gifts. Each of us have something unique within us...either it's something we do (sing, write, dance, act, paint)...or just the way we are (loving, caring, organizers, prayer warriors, humanitarians, loyal friends)...often times these things are overlooked...but if we submit ourselves to God...completely...He can do great and mighty things through us.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm so tired of waking up every morning and thinking "there must be more than this." I want to live my life according to my purpose...I want to be fulfilled knowing that the things I do day in and day out matter...they are impacting someone's life...I want to come to a point in my life where my past makes sense...because it has made me who I am in the present...and my future is full of hope because I'm living according to God's vision for my life.

My chazown has been revealed...now, the hard part...living it.

i'm not a poet. but, when i read good poetry (like john's), i get totally inspired. however, it doesn't really matter how inspired i get because i still suck at it. i guess it's just not my forte. when you tell people you write, they think you can write everything...poems, essays, stories, articles. but there's certain things i suck at...poetry being one and journalistic stories being the other.

however, i do have a poetry section on my website because it is something I strive to get better at. So, today...I thought I would share a poem with you.

IT WILL ALL BE OKAY

"It will all be okay."
I hear that from time to time each day.
I think it's just a phrase...
that people say when they think you're going through a phase.

But what if the problem isn't momentary?
What if it has pricked your soul and made you wary?

Then you need something more than a simple phrase.
You need something that will help you find your way through the maze.
Perhaps a smile... Not a passing grin, but one that is sincere and lasts for a while.
Or a hug... Not just a pat on a shoulder, but one that reaches your heart strings and tugs.
Maybe even a kiss... Not a quick peck, but one that reminds you of pure bliss.

So maybe you won't be okay.
I'm not the one who can truly say.
But, I can tell you there are always highs and lows.
And that is just the way it goes.
You can't appreciate the good things in life...
If you haven't ever dealt with a little strife.
Enjoy what you are given each day...
And then maybe you'll find that you really are okay!

Goodness gracious GREAT balls of icecream!

Behold the pecan icecream ball....yes, this is an actual ball of icecream...approximately the size of a child's head. Julie and I met for lunch today at quaint little cafe called Cheevers. Per JT's request, we tried this icecream ball for dessert. Our eyes bugged out as the waiter lay this bad boy on the table, saying "Good Luck." I would like to report that it was incredibly delicious and that me and Julez could hardly keep our spoons out of it...but the whole ball was covered in curried pecans. It was a very odd mix of tastes...however, the inside of the ball was delightfully d-to-the-licious. But there was no way that the two of us could have possibly finished it.

Little did I know that, Miss Julie works approximately 5 minutes away from me. So now, that means Billy AND Julie are both my work neighbors. Maybe I won't have to spend so many lunches alone in my car anymore! One of these days I hope Billy will get brave enough to venture out of his building to experience the world outside of it...also known as the ghetto. He says that day will be Monday...we shall see.

I love daylight savings time in the evening, but it's hard to get up in the morning when it's still dark. I was visited last night by carpenter ants...they decide to grace our home with their presence in my closet nonetheless. After removing every article of clothing from the closet, I sealed up my room for the night and slept in the guest room, where I tossed and turned till the wee hours of the morning. So, I'm tired today...but not too tired to call Terminix first thing today. I want those ants out of my life ASAP! Little did I know that I'd become best friends with the Terminix guy, who happens to be a very proud Lab owner as well.

Speaking of best friends...mine has totally decided to betray me by going to NYC without me. I guess she didn't really have a choice since she's there for work. It's so odd how things work out...Sonia isn't a big New York fan at all...and then there's me...yet she gets a job that requires her to go there for training often...and I get stuck in OKC of all places.

Oklahoma of all places is where CCL and her family are vacationing this year. I have to snicker about that...I wish I could say that they are coming to visit me, but short of deaths, weddings, or hospital stays...no one comes to visit me. They'll be about 4 hours away from me kicking up their heels in some cabin. I'd like to go up for a visit, but must find out if work and my clunker CRV will permit the trip. ;)

Last, but not least...I lost a pound today! that makes 2.5 pounds lost in the past 2 weeks. it's so good to see the poundage go down again...until the next plateau! i was pretty relieved I lost despite my trip with the kids to Incredible Pizza and making a very fatty dinner the other night that consisted of Chicken Fried Steak with Mashed Potatoes and homemade gravy. I'm seriously getting a big head about my cooking. They say that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach...but I tried that...and apparently that doesn't work either!

Two things I just can't get enough of...

Cute babies and cute puppies!

True or False?...

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

I am a cuddler - false ~ i'm too jumpy
I am a morning person - True
I am a perfectionist - False~only about dumb things like crafts
I am an only child - False
I am Catholic - False
I am currently in my pajamas -False
I am single: True
I am currently suffering from a broken heart - False
I am okay at styling other people's hair - True
I am left handed - False
I am addicted to my myspace - False
I am online 24/7, even as an away message - False
I am very shy around the opposite gender at first - True
I bite my nails - True
I can be paranoid at times - True
I currently regret something that I have said or done- True
When I get mad I curse frequently - False~just when i'm around the DC's
I get mad frequently -False
I don't like anyone - False
I enjoy country music- False
I enjoy jazz music - True
I enjoy smoothies -False
I enjoy talking on the phone - True
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school -True
I have a lot to learn - True
I have a pet - True
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal - False
I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" person - True
I have all my grandparents - False
I have at least one sibling - True
I have been told that I am smart - False
I have broken a bone - True, my butt bone, but no one believes me
I have Caller I.D. on my phone - True
I have changed a diaper - True
I have changed a lot over the past year - False
I have done something illegal -True
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color - False
I have had major/minor surgery - True
I have killed another person - False
I have had my hair cut/colored within the last week - False
I have had the cops called on me - False
I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn't - True, not by choice

Babies who love chocolate are babies after my own heart...

I wonder if Ethan and Lauren have the remnants of their Mom's chocolate chip cookies on their faces...CCL makes the best chocolate chip cookies ever...what I wouldn't do for one right now!!

I love this picture of little Lauren..aka "baby sistah"...her wittle tongue looks so cute!

When I saw this picture of Lauren, I felt really sad. She looks like she's grown up so much...she has so much hair now...not just those tufts of soft curls here and there...she's got a full little head of hair!!...and teeth too?? now that she's going to be living in Houston...every time I see her and Ethan, they will have grown considerably...and I'll miss out on the cute baby stages. =(

CCL and Alex...I need weekly pictures of the kids...lots of them!

For more pictures of cuteness see the DC's blog

A thought I wanted to share...

I have this really bad habit of using others as a measuring stick. I compare little things like weight...bigger things like success...and recently, I realized that I've been measuring my spirituality to those around me. In the Pentecostal church, the importance of praising loudly, raising your hands, and speaking in tongues is greatly stressed. As a quiet person, I find myself preferring quiet worship...bowing my head in reverance and concentrating on God's grace...praising him with my lips (but not so loud that others can hear every word I say), and occasionally lifting my hands in a moment of complete surrender. But, I haven't been gifted with tongues...(yet)...and I don't dance or jump in God's presence...etc, etc. So does that make me any less spiritual? I thought it did...

I thought that people who did all that stuff I mentioned before had some sort of "experience" with God that I've somehow missed out on. I've been waiting for the "experience" and found myself getting angry and frustrated that some got it and I didn't. However, *S & S* helped me understand that people who raise their hands, speak in tongues, dance, etc...have the same experience I had...they experienced salvation...the difference is...that is they way they choose to worship...and I have another way of worshipping, but it's all pleases God. It was like a light went off in my head...I felt relieved. Here I was waiting for an "experience" and getting so frustrated that God wasn't giving it to me!

If God granted an "experience" that changed people's lives...then it would be God choosing the ones He loves. But, He already chose us when He was on the cross...He chose all of us. The question is...have we chosen Him? That's what it's all about...THAT'S the "experience"...the moment in which you COMMIT. I think commit is the important word here...because a relationship with the Lord, like a relationship with any other person, is a commitment...that we must choose. How you commune with Him isn't as important as committing TO commune with Him. The only way to feel closer to God is to read His word, pray, and worship. Scripture says in Jeremiah 29, "For I know the plans I have for you...they are for good and not evil..to give you a future and a hope." But, how do you achieve that future and hope through the Lord? It goes on to say "For when you seek me with your whole heart...you will find me." This is exactly what we must commit to do when we choose Him.

I realize that when you talk to God...He talks back...when you ask Him for things...He gives them to you...sometimes we look for big signs and big wonders...so we miss the little ways in which he speaks to us every day...through people...through music...through His word...through the Holy Spirit that resides within us. I'll give you a small example of what happened to me last week. Bear/Bare with me...because it might seem silly...but to me...it's just a sweet way that God spoke to me. I was in my car at lunch...and I was thinking about this "experience" that I thought God wasn't giving me. I was asking God..."Do you really love me? If you do...show me...give me a sign...I need to know."...I kept saying this over and over...and then I suddenly shut up for a second and listened to the song that was playing on the radio. It was a Third Day song...and at that very moment...the lyrics were "miracles and signs and wonders...aren't enough for me to prove to you. Don't you know I've always loved you? Even before there was time..." I sat in silence after that...and realized...there's no such thing as coincidence. (as my friend ruby says!)

Weekend update!

The weekend was a lovely one. Saturday was spent with my niece and nephew...I took them out shopping and bought them books (this is what happens when your aunt is a writer) and then to Incredible Pizza for some food and fun. It was good times.

Sunday didn't start out so great initially. I found myself in a grumpy mood although the weather was gorgeous. But, by the end of the day...I was A-Ok. After church, I took Mousse out for a walk at Lake Hefner.
Billy and his pup, Shelby met us out there. Mousse loved Shelby, but Shelby wasn't so fond of the Moussemeister...apparently she's a little to big for his taste.

But, she did find another boy that took a liking to her. His name was Monty, the cutest pug I've ever seen in my life. He was so sweet to her...and showered her with kisses. I love to see Mousse with other dogs...she never barks at any dog...she's just real sweet and wants to play. I wish she was the same to me! =/ I spent the rest of the afternoon with my sweet friend Ruby...we shopped, talked, and had fun catchin up...and then last but not least I rode bikes with Finuji! I love being outside when the weather's so gorgeous!