Thursday, April 20, 2006

life is strange...

Life is funny....ok, not really. Life is strange. That's a more accurate statement. How long have I been looking for a job? Consistently for 4 years. That's just sad. What's sadder is that during this 4 years...I got a new job. I'm not one that just hates my job regardless of what the job is. Although, at this particular time, I can't remember a job I liked. Oh wait...yes, it's come to me. I liked 2 of my jobs. One, when I worked with Sunu A for a mortgage loan company and the other when I repossessed cars. (not physically...i did the background stuff for the actual people who did repossess them~ fun times). That being said...where was I? Oh yes, I'm trying to convince you all that I'm just not a whiner who hates working.

I have 2 weeks to hear from Dallas...and in the meantime, I discovered that a job will be opening up here in the company. This job offers more pay, and I'll get to work side by side with a very good friend, so it would be fun as well. But, it's still in Oklahoma and it's still in the company. However...on the flip side...it's still a job and it's still money. Luckily the job officially opens in a few weeks...approximately the time I find out about Dallas.

Never before in my entire life have I been so dumbfounded about the direction of my life. I am at a point where I feel completely out of control. Usually this would bother me. I would worry, fret, and do my best to grasp my sweaty little hands on to the situation and cling to control for dear life. however, this time, I've just resigned to let go and let God.

When God led the whining Israelites out of Egypt, they were forced to follow him. To follow the cloud/fire which he used to lead them....to go when he said to go and stop when He said to stop. They were whining the entire way because they had no control...they had no idea where they were going or when they were getting there. They had to follow in faith. I feel much the same way...I don't know where I'm going...when I'm getting there...but I've gotta just live by faith. If i don't get the Dallas job, I'll be disappointed...but I've been praying so much and so have all of you who care about me...so I know that where He closes one door...another will open. I'm just doing my best to not whine along the way...but to follow in faith.

3 comments:

Soulsysta said...

life works in mysterious ways. sometimes, in ways that the naked eye can't possibly forsee.

The moments you remember are the ones that bring change suse - and this is that phase in your existence. Where change defines the context - and you're right - the universe will conspire to make things happen.

just stay strong and keep your wits about you - and the rest my dear will be gravy.

love ya much.

kovoor36 said...

i know things will work out for you, but you said it best, God will lead you where you need to be, whats best for you right now. ill still keep my fingers crossed for tx though:)

Anonymous said...

If there is something to learn from the Isrealites it is to be like the Joshua generation and not their fore-fathers.