A thought I wanted to share...

I have this really bad habit of using others as a measuring stick. I compare little things like weight...bigger things like success...and recently, I realized that I've been measuring my spirituality to those around me. In the Pentecostal church, the importance of praising loudly, raising your hands, and speaking in tongues is greatly stressed. As a quiet person, I find myself preferring quiet worship...bowing my head in reverance and concentrating on God's grace...praising him with my lips (but not so loud that others can hear every word I say), and occasionally lifting my hands in a moment of complete surrender. But, I haven't been gifted with tongues...(yet)...and I don't dance or jump in God's presence...etc, etc. So does that make me any less spiritual? I thought it did...

I thought that people who did all that stuff I mentioned before had some sort of "experience" with God that I've somehow missed out on. I've been waiting for the "experience" and found myself getting angry and frustrated that some got it and I didn't. However, *S & S* helped me understand that people who raise their hands, speak in tongues, dance, etc...have the same experience I had...they experienced salvation...the difference is...that is they way they choose to worship...and I have another way of worshipping, but it's all pleases God. It was like a light went off in my head...I felt relieved. Here I was waiting for an "experience" and getting so frustrated that God wasn't giving it to me!

If God granted an "experience" that changed people's lives...then it would be God choosing the ones He loves. But, He already chose us when He was on the cross...He chose all of us. The question is...have we chosen Him? That's what it's all about...THAT'S the "experience"...the moment in which you COMMIT. I think commit is the important word here...because a relationship with the Lord, like a relationship with any other person, is a commitment...that we must choose. How you commune with Him isn't as important as committing TO commune with Him. The only way to feel closer to God is to read His word, pray, and worship. Scripture says in Jeremiah 29, "For I know the plans I have for you...they are for good and not evil..to give you a future and a hope." But, how do you achieve that future and hope through the Lord? It goes on to say "For when you seek me with your whole heart...you will find me." This is exactly what we must commit to do when we choose Him.

I realize that when you talk to God...He talks back...when you ask Him for things...He gives them to you...sometimes we look for big signs and big wonders...so we miss the little ways in which he speaks to us every day...through people...through music...through His word...through the Holy Spirit that resides within us. I'll give you a small example of what happened to me last week. Bear/Bare with me...because it might seem silly...but to me...it's just a sweet way that God spoke to me. I was in my car at lunch...and I was thinking about this "experience" that I thought God wasn't giving me. I was asking God..."Do you really love me? If you do...show me...give me a sign...I need to know."...I kept saying this over and over...and then I suddenly shut up for a second and listened to the song that was playing on the radio. It was a Third Day song...and at that very moment...the lyrics were "miracles and signs and wonders...aren't enough for me to prove to you. Don't you know I've always loved you? Even before there was time..." I sat in silence after that...and realized...there's no such thing as coincidence. (as my friend ruby says!)