I'm having a little trouble sleeping tonight...well, the past few nights....I'm feeling kind of anxious about my next big chemo day which is looming. It's really hard to believe that my first 21 days is almost over. My sister and my BF will both be here with me the next time around...but I'm worried about how I will react to it this time and what they'll have to witness those few days right after my 2nd round. I'm not one of those people who googles and researches everything there is to know about my diagnosis and treatments. In fact, until tonight...I've done really good about just getting facts from Dr. H and my cancer buddy. Sometimes the internet can be grim and depressing.
The other day my sister suggested that perhaps I won't get as sick as I did the first round. Maybe my insides won't freak out and wage a war against me since they've now had the chemo once before. It seemed like a sensible suggestion...so I decided I'd go on line and research it. Can we say....BIG. MISTAKE?
I guess this is what happens when your mind gets ahead of you. I told myself I'd take each day as it comes and just try and get through the best I can without thinking ahead. But tonight I got way ahead of myself and read things that I shouldn't have. I was quickly reminded of Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Ain't that the truth? Thankful to God for his reminders that He's still in control...and that He's bigger than 5FU, the red devil, and cisplatin...(my chemo cocktail).
No more googling random things late at night...
Prayer Request: I'm tired all the time, but I can't seem to get any sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep at night and in the day time I'm really good at finding things to keep me awake too....and all this only makes me more tired. I think I'm avoiding sleep because I've been having weird dreams with chemo that usually make me jolt awake several times. Please pray for restful nights of uninterrupted sleep!
The other day my sister suggested that perhaps I won't get as sick as I did the first round. Maybe my insides won't freak out and wage a war against me since they've now had the chemo once before. It seemed like a sensible suggestion...so I decided I'd go on line and research it. Can we say....BIG. MISTAKE?
I guess this is what happens when your mind gets ahead of you. I told myself I'd take each day as it comes and just try and get through the best I can without thinking ahead. But tonight I got way ahead of myself and read things that I shouldn't have. I was quickly reminded of Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Ain't that the truth? Thankful to God for his reminders that He's still in control...and that He's bigger than 5FU, the red devil, and cisplatin...(my chemo cocktail).
No more googling random things late at night...
Prayer Request: I'm tired all the time, but I can't seem to get any sleep. I have a hard time falling asleep at night and in the day time I'm really good at finding things to keep me awake too....and all this only makes me more tired. I think I'm avoiding sleep because I've been having weird dreams with chemo that usually make me jolt awake several times. Please pray for restful nights of uninterrupted sleep!
1 comment:
Ahead of time, call your doctor and let them know your concerns. They may be able to send more medications home with you for that round.
Post a Comment